getting the self out of the way

September 22, 2009

I had an insight this morning. Not sure if I can put it into words.

Basically it is that, my position as professor is one that encourages and fosters the ego. Whether or not one is extrovert or introvert makes no difference. I am naturally an introvert. But once I got used to standing in front of a classroom for 50 mins. at a time, with all the students required to look at me and listen, it is amazing how I manage to talk the entire hour, intuitively wrapping it up at minute 45. As if all I have to say is important. It isn’t. What is important, and what makes the better professor or teacher, is to manage to bring out the students’ thoughts, not just off the top of their heads but as a thoughtful, critical thinking view of what they have read or heard from me. THAT is the goal of a classroom. And I have not been achieving that goal well enough.

What causes one to talk for the entire 50 minutes? or in some cases, if the class meets twice/week, for an hour + 15 mins.??

First of all, because you can. Students are in the position of not being able to complain about that. So the positions, in themselves, foster the ego of the professor. All desks are turned toward the front of the room, where the professor stands or the computer screen projects.

Second of all, because you are afraid. Because you think it is up to you, as professor, to tell the best story, present the material in the best way. And it is NOT up to you. It is only you if your ego is in the way. In reality, you are there to assist the students to critically think through the material. That is your job. What do they think and why? It is a constant exercise to get the self out of the way, and just assist.

And the best way to achieve that, is daily prayer. As we are told to do as Bahai’s, pray and meditate both morning and evening. Remind yourself that you are not in charge. It’s not up to you! It’s up to you to get your own ____ out of the way of their learning. If we say the short obligatory prayer every day, for example, we are immediately reminded, of “my powerlessness and of Thy might, of my poverty and Thy wealth.”

And as soon as I had this insight, I passed a church sign which read, “If God is your co-pilot, change seats!”

Thou art My dominion (HW14-15)

September 16, 2009

candleIn honor of my son-in-law’s father, Steven Kipruto Marisin, who will be buried Friday, Sept. 18:

14. O SON OF MAN!
Thou art My dominion and My dominion perisheth not; wherefore fearest thou thy perishing? Thou art My light and My light shall never be extinguished; why dost thou dread extinction? Thou art My glory and My glory fadeth not; thou art My robe and My robe shall never be outworn. Abide then in thy love for Me, that thou mayest find Me in the realm of glory.

15. O SON OF UTTERANCE!
Turn thy face unto Mine and renounce all save Me; for My sovereignty endureth and My dominion perisheth not. If thou seekest another than Me, yea, if thou searchest the universe for evermore, thy quest will be in vain.

 (Baha’u’llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)

Worlds away

September 13, 2009

Worlds away, across the globe, a life passes. A life in this world ends. A family grieves. His son, here with us, is without a father tonight. His brothers desire his company. But money and life situation keeps them apart. A family should be together to mourn their father’s passing. Yet, we are where we are, and can only do what we can do. God watches, lifts and supports every soul who asks His aid. May He comfort this family tonight, and let them know, their love unites them forever and always. This is the true bond, that of the spirit. A father’s soul leaves this world, but leaves behind sons and a daughter who love him. This is all anyone could ask for.

“He that hath Me not is bereft of all things. Turn ye away from all that is on earth and seek none else but Me. I am the Sun of Wisdom and the Ocean of Knowledge. I cheer the faint and revive the dead. I am the guiding Light that illumineth the way. I am the royal Falcon on the arm of the Almighty. I unfold the drooping wings of every broken bird and start it on its flight.”

 (Baha’u’llah, Tablets of Baha’u’llah, p. 169)

 bird

The changing seasons in SC

September 13, 2009

I was trying to think of something to write about, & decided to add updates to the changing seasons in South Carolina. 🙂  Quite a difference from that in Indiana.

So now it is Fall. It feels different than when it did a month ago, but I wonder if most of that different feeling is tied up in our change in schedules. Children now walk to school each weekday morning and are not around during the day, in the neighborhood. They are busier. They don’t hang out as much in the picnic table area near our house.

There are not as many people in the neighborhood pool, though it is still open! We haven’t been swimming ourselves for probably 2 weeks. The evenings are cooler, getting down into the 60s. There isn’t that hot & humid feeling in the air, in the evenings, anymore.

I am busier as well. Later today I need to finish grading some assignments and tweek a power point for this week. This weekend I slept in luxuriously, but that is no longer an option during the week.

There is no sense of the trees changing yet. We do see that here, but it will occur much later. Daytime temps. still reach 90 but go no higher than that, if they do get there. More likely in the 80s. SC and IN temps. are actually very similar right now.

and that’s early, early Fall in SC, mid-September.

* Added note: We have learned that our pond was created by damming Bear Creek, hence the name of our neighborhood “. . .  at Bear Creek”. The reason we don’t have mosquitos is they load minnows which feed on mosquitos, into the pond, when needed. As the minnows grow too large and eat other things, they add more minnows. We also have dragonflies. All very natural to curb the mosquito population –nice! I guess the frog population then suffered and dwindled, since tadpoles also eat mosquitos & there weren’t enough for them. So the frog singing population has diminished drastically. There are many turtles, & they also added carp to eat the grass & clean the pond. The carp are huge. There are some large catfish, but all fish caught are supp. to be thrown back into the pond. They are talking about adding some sort of oxygen-spraying fountain, underneath, to clean the water more, in the future.

Hidden Word no.13

September 13, 2009

O SON OF SPIRIT!
I created thee rich, why dost thou bring thyself down to poverty? Noble I made thee, wherewith dost thou abase thyself? Out of the essence of knowledge I gave thee being, why seekest thou enlightenment from anyone beside Me? Out of the clay of love I molded thee, how dost thou busy thyself with another? Turn thy sight unto thyself, that thou mayest find Me standing within thee, mighty, powerful and self-subsisting.

 (Baha’u’llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)

 (–such beautiful imagery for our self worth!   –Carol.)sunset in San Diego

poem for Penny

September 9, 2009

All Paths Lead to Thee

Slowly, we walk

through this life,

rejoicing in moments shared with friends,

times passed,

taking life as it comes,

Friends and family move in and out of our days,

All are welcome, all are missed,

in the progression

toward the One, the Only, the Blessed Friend,

The path we walk

is laden with flowers,

all suffering is nothing

before Thy Face,

All is forgotten when we know

that all paths lead to Thee,

O hasten my time to meet Thee!

Hold me not back, Let me run to greet Thee!

The joy in living all the days of our lives

is that all paths lead to Thee!

my family

September 9, 2009

My nuclear family, the one I was born into, is scattered to the winds. First of all, there are only 3 of us out of 6 who are left in this world. My father died unexpectedly of a heart attack in Aug. 1969. He was 50, I had just turned sweet 16. I adored my father. My mother lived to nearly 85 years, passing of a degenerative heart condition (a faulty heart valve) for which she elected not to have surgery and lived 4 yrs. after that, to late June 2007, 2 years ago. She became an active alcoholic after our father’s death, for the next 16 years, but then recognized her condition and quit cold turkey, never again drinking, immediately after my 32nd birthday and the birth of our 4th & last child. My older brother died this year, at the end of April, 2009. His adult life was consumed with addictions and mental illness. I say all of this to illustrate that our nuclear family has not had an easy time at building relationship. I was able to be with both my mother and brother in their last days in the hospital. Went with my mother (and an early boyfriend of that time) to the hospital with my father when he then passed away in the hospital, quickly.

My younger brother and I have a relationship, thankfully, although we truly don’t know each other well, due to our family’s history. I enjoy his kids on facebook. We live 4 states apart now. My relationship w/my sister is another story. Our relationship has had a difficult time since our mother died. We were talking a little on facebook. Then one day she pulled herself out of my “friends” list and ended talking on facebook.  She gave her opinion, said she was ending our facebook relationship, and cut off discussion. She felt facebook was not a relationship, which it’s not, but it’s all we had at the time. To me, this just came out of the blue and was not sending a message of, “Hey I really do want a relationship.” To me, it felt hurtful but I had no way to express this to her. The e-mails I had for her did not work. I have no idea what her current phone number is, but besides that, her action was not one that seemed to open the door to call her in a friendly manner. I have since learned that to her, she felt we should be communicating some other way.  

I have decided to say the unity prayer every day, for my family. God can take it wherever it will best serve. My task is to stay focused, look for the 1 good quality, and be detached from the outcome. Perhaps the 3 in the next world can help us here, to resolve whatever we can in this life. Perhaps nothing will ever be resolved in this life. My task is to try to be loving and leave the rest to God. As our mother learned in AA, “Let go and let God.”

O my God! O my God! Unite the hearts of Thy servants, and reveal to them Thy great purpose. May they follow Thy commandments and abide in Thy law. Help them, O God, in their endeavor, and grant them strength to serve Thee. O God, leave them not to themselves, but guide their steps by the light of Thy knowledge, and cheer their hearts by Thy love. Verily, Thou art their helper, and their Lord.

uplift

September 7, 2009

Tonight I wanted to post something uplifting. There is a heaviness to the air. We go back to work tomorrow, summer is over, pools are closing and Fall is in the atmosphere. Al was saying he doesn’t feel like he had vacation. Someone was working in the neighborhood this morning with a loud mower and weeder, and it should have been quiet. People did not respect the holiday (Labor Day).

However, kids were having fun fishing and riding around the neighborhood on their bikes, and they had a good day. Now they are in bed and getting up early for school tomorrow. I will get up early as well and head off to campus, trying to get back into work-mode.

Before posting something uplifting, let me say something the opposite. Al and I have been watching a show, “CRiminal Minds,” because it is well done. The characters are believable, somehow they have some depth and realness. But the shows are always about serial killers or people inflicting pain on another human being, especially men hurting women. I have come to believe there is a new sadism at work in nightly crime tv shows. Women are shown getting hurt, tortured and killed in umpteen different, sick ways, over and over and over. Though the good guys are trying to save them, it is SICK and sadistic, and I feel doing more harm than good. Tonight there was a new show starting, the premier episode of yet another crime tv show. I watched the first couple minutes, and saw a young teenage girl out in the woods with an older man, get her hands tied together and her head bashed in with a rock. In about 2 mins. of the show. I am disgusted. Seriously, what does this do to our inner psyches to watch this over & over?? If nothing else, it makes women afraid and in need of being rescued, and makes us feel there are tons of sadistic, serial killers out there. Yes, there are always some who appear but most murders happen because some young kid takes a gun to a robbery and stupid things happen. Guns are deadly.

We are all afraid of each other. We need to encourage purity of heart, charity without desire for payback, good works, thinking of the 1 good quality in a person even when there are 9 other bad ones, appreciation of difference and diversity, friendship, and service. Please keep good thoughts in your minds and put forth these good qualities into the world. It is really worthwhile to do so.

And now for the uplifting part. This is a talk given by ‘Abdu’l-Baha in a church, in England, in 1911. A prisoner most of his life, imprisoned for promotion of the oneness of humankind and other such things, He made one trip to the Western world as an old man. Totally unfamiliar with Western culture, yet He spoke from the heart and reached the depth of their souls. See how He uplifts! Just keep reading. Enjoy.

St. John’s Westminster: Introduction

On September 17th, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá at the request of the venerable Archdeacon of Westminster addressed the congregation of Saint John the Divine after evening service. With a few warm words characteristic of his whole attitude Archdeacon Wilberforce introduced the revered Messenger from the East, who had crossed seas and countries on his Mission of Peace and Unity for which he had suffered forty years of captivity and persecution. The Archdeacon had the Bishop’s chair placed for his Guest on the Chancel steps, and standing beside him read the translation of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá’s address himself. The Congregation was profoundly moved, and following the Archdeacon’s example knelt to receive the blessing of the Servant of God — who stood with extended arms — his wonderful voice rising and falling in the silence with the power of his invocation. As the Archdeacon said: “Truly the East and the West have met in this sacred place tonight.” The hymn “O God our help in ages past” was sung by the entire assembly standing, as ‘Abdu’l-Bahá and the Archdeacon passed down the aisle to the vestry hand in hand.

Outside the Church, Salvationists were holding their meeting and ‘Abdu’l-Bahá was deeply impressed and touched at the sight of the men, women and children gathered together in the night, at the street corner, praying and singing.   

Discourse of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá at St. John’s,

Westminster.

September 17th, 1911.

O NOBLE Friends! O Seekers for the Kingdom of God! Man all over the world is seeking for God. All that exists is God; but the Reality of Divinity is holy above all understanding.

The pictures of Divinity that come to our mind are the product of our fancy; they exist in the realm of our imagination. They are not adequate to the Truth; truth in its essence cannot be put into words.

Divinity cannot by comprehended because it is comprehending.

Man, who has also a real existence, is comprehended by God; therefore, the Divinity which man can understand is partial; it is not complete. Divinity is actual Truth and real existence, and not any representation of it. Divinity itself contains All, and is not contained.

Although the mineral, vegetable, animal and man all have actual being, yet the mineral has no knowledge of the vegetable. It cannot apprehend it. It cannot imagine nor understand it.

It is the same with the vegetable. Any progress it may make, however highly it may become developed, it will never apprehend the animal, nor understand it. It is, so to speak, without news of it. It has no ears, no sight, no understanding.   

It is the same with the animal. However much it may progress in its own kingdom, however refined its feelings may become, it will have no real notion of the world of man or of his special intellectual faculties.

The animal cannot understand the roundness of the earth, nor its motion in space, nor the central position of the sun, nor can it imagine such a thing as the all-pervading ether.

Although the mineral, vegetable, animal and man himself are actual beings, the difference between their kingdoms prevents members of the lower degree from comprehending the essence and nature of those of the superior degree. This being so, how can the temporal and phenomenal comprehend the Lord of Hosts?

It is clear that this is impossible!

But the Essence of Divinity, the Sun of Truth, shines forth upon all horizons and is spreading its rays upon all things. Each creature is the recipient of some portion of that power, and man, who contains the perfection of the mineral, the vegetable and animal, as well as his own distinctive qualities, has become the noblest of created beings. It stands written that he is made in the Image of God. Mysteries that were hidden he discovers; and secrets that were concealed he brings into the light. By Science and by Art he brings hidden powers into the region of the visible world. Man perceives the hidden law in created things and co-operates with it.

Lastly the perfect man, the Prophet, is one who is transfigured, one who has the purity and  clearness of a perfect mirror — one who reflects the Sun of Truth. Of such a one — of such a Prophet and Messenger — we can say that the Light of Divinity with the heavenly Perfections dwells in him.

If we claim that the sun is seen in the mirror, we do not mean that the sun itself has descended from the holy heights of his heaven and entered into the mirror! This is impossible. The Divine Nature is seen in the Manifestations and its Light and Splendor are visible in extreme glory.

Therefore, men have always been taught and led by the Prophets of God. The Prophets of God are the Mediators of God. All the Prophets and Messengers have come from One Holy Spirit and bear the Message of God, fitted to the age in which they appear. The One Light is in them and they are One with each other. But the Eternal does not become phenomenal; neither can the phenomenal become Eternal.

Saint Paul, the great Apostle, said: “We all, with open face beholding as in a mirror the glory of God, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, as by the Spirit of the Lord.”

O GOD the Forgiver! O Heavenly Educator! This assembly is adorned with the mention of thy holy Name. Thy children turn their face towards thy Kingdom, hearts are made happy and souls are comforted.

Merciful God! cause us to repent of our  shortcomings! Accept us in thy heavenly Kingdom and give unto us an abode where there shall be no error. Give us peace; give us knowledge, and open unto us the gates of thy heaven.

Thou art the Giver of all! Thou art the Forgiver! Thou art the Merciful! Amen. 

 (Abdu’l-Baha, Abdu’l-Baha in London, p. 22)

Hidden Words of Baha’u’llah, no.12

September 7, 2009

O SON OF BEING!
With the hands of power I made thee and with the fingers of strength I created thee; and within thee have I placed the essence of My light. Be thou content with it and seek naught else, for My work is perfect and My command is binding. Question it not, nor have a doubt thereof.

–Baha’u’llahcandle

short obligatory prayer

September 3, 2009

I was just going through the short obligatory prayer that Bahai’s say daily, & had a few thoughts.

“I bear witness, O my God…” 

1st line made me think of the tradition in Christian belief, to “witness” for God and for Jesus. To witness is to give praise to God publicly, talk about your belief in the open with others. Bear witness to your faith. So we start out by doing this.

“…that Thou hast created me, to know Thee and to worship Thee.”

Our purpose. What we were created for. It explains our relationship to the Creator. We are not the Creator, but the creation, which is a relief because it tells me, we don’t have to know everything, or understand it all. We can accept imperfection. Somehow in our worship of God the Creator, we gain a closer sense of true love, and what Perfection is.

Next line. “I testify, at this moment,”

Testify. Speak — do not be silent. There is a gospel song in the back of my mind about testifyin’. We are living in the present, in this moment. Not in the past, for that is gone, and not in the future but right now. What we do in this moment determines how the future will go.

“… to my powerlessness, and to Thy might,”

The first step in any 12-step program is to recognize one’s own powerlessness. Powerlessness, in some cases, is a good thing. We are again affirming our station, not as the Almighty but as the creation who can continually progress toward perfection. There is always more to learn. Leaning upon the Mighty will guide us to the next step, whatever it is.

“… to my poverty, and to Thy wealth.”

Poverty and wealth in a spiritual sense. Poverty is never the cause of degradation in any religious book. Only poverty of spirit. Somehow we are responsible for that. Baha’u’llah elsewhere says, “Tell the rich of the midnight sighing of the poor,” and in another place, “If poverty overtake thee, be not sad; for in time the Lord of wealth shall visit thee.”

And the prayer ends with, “There is none other God but Thee, the Help in Peril, the Self-Subsisting.”

There is only one God. This is a statement we really do not believe today. All those prayers being said to God, from those in so many faiths, really do rise to only One. The One. The Only.

“The help in peril,” which in itself is telling us we are not protected from danger. Danger, peril, these things will touch us. What is always promised is that He IS the HELP in these times. He will help us. We are never without help, never left alone, no matter what. That is the promise.

“the Self Subsisting.” There is only one God, and He is always far and above the rest of creation. He is in fact, Self-Subsisting. We are the opposite. We cannot exist on our own, and in fact, die if left alone. We are made as social creatures, and a human baby one of the most vulnerable of infants, over a long period of time. And yet, we are bathed in His love at all times. We may choose to not turn towards it, but that does not mean it is not there. “I loved Thy creation, hence I created thee . . . Wherefore, do thou love Me … that I may name thy name, and fill thy soul with the spirit of life.”

“I bear witness, O my God, that Thou hast created me to know Thee, and to worship Thee. I testify at this moment, to my powerlessness and to Thy might, to my poverty and to Thy wealth. There is none other God but Thee, the Help in Peril, the Self-Subsisting.”