I want to write about Zoom calls. This is not a poem. Maybe it will be one some day.
Yesterday, I did a marathon of 6 zoom calls in a day. At the end of it, I was getting depressed. It is being with people, while not being with people.
You are not sitting in a room with people, you are by yourself, in your room, on Zoom. You see a screen full of faces, all looking at you. I think this is why people want to turn off their cameras. If we were all in person, we would be lounging on couches and chairs somewhat in a circle. We would not all be staring at one another as if we were on a stage & they were the audience.
On zoom, people turn off their cameras. They like to hide. It is a privilege, if allowed, on zoom. So you then take away all eyes on you. You can also mute your sound, become muted. Then when you want to speak, you forget to turn it back on and you’re talking to no one but yourself. Sometimes you raise your virtual hand and do this. Sometimes you turn on your camera & then do this. People say, “You’re muted!” Then you have to start all over again.
If we were in person, we would smile, look sideways at some, straight at people only usually when they are talking. It is a different phenomenon. I was born into a non-tech world where all we had was in person conversation, or well, and phone calls. The phone was near the kitchen & another one upstairs. If I was on the phone w/ friends, I knew my parents could silently pick up the other line & listen in. We couldn’t go to a breakout room for privacy. I guess I should write a poem about that.
But for now, back to zooming, I think it depresses people. Or more accurately, it’s a disconnected way of connecting. It’s not WHOLE, it’s partial. Though we like to see one another, like in a family zoom call, it’s sure not the same as being WITH them, with my WHOLE self. I miss my family. Maybe that’s the depression part.
I guess zooming works for getting through a college class. But it’s not the same as in person. More research is needed, as they say in academia.
Doctor Grandma 