This one means a lot to me tonight.
18. O SON OF SPIRIT!
Ask not of Me that which We desire not for thee, then be content with what We have ordained for thy sake, for this is that which profiteth thee, if therewith thou dost content thyself.
(Baha’u’llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)
16. O SON OF LIGHT!
Forget all save Me and commune with My spirit. This is of the essence of My command, therefore turn unto it.
17. O SON OF MAN!
Be thou content with Me and seek no other helper. For none but Me can ever suffice thee.
(Baha’u’llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)
to my family: I have a pleasant memory of Billie Dunk singing no.17 at children’s classes.
Life never brings us what we want. It is simply a journey. It is never about what is happening at that moment, but what we can learn from that moment. It is knowing Who to turn to, and who not to depend on for our happiness. There is only One we need to be at peace with, and if we are at peace with that One, then we may be at peace with our loved ones as well. and if not, then we let it go.
Love is never what we think it is, either. Love is not an oasis, but more like the sea, always moving, churning, full of life, too deep to see the bottom, vast and spacious in scope, calm and smooth on top.
Well, today was spent at the NC Transportation Museum in Spencer, NC where we met and rode on Thomas the Train with Leah & Zakiah. Too tired to write all about that, but basically, totally a money-maker and millions of kids, and noise all day long, but very fun for the kids. People are so funny. They are told to sing on the train and they start singing. We just do what we’re told to do. Totally annoying little shows like w/ Bob the Builder dancing……. but some very cool, huge old locomotives, and a gigantic model train display that was elaborate. All kinds of train stuff for kids to do. The Thomas the Train sets were running a cold $50 bucks, but I found a nice, metal, classic train set for $20. for Zakiah. Runs on 2 double-A’s. The FUNNEL CAKE was totally awesome!
There was a huge Thomas made totally out of lego’s which was pretty cool, and a not-so-bad band that played James Brown’s “I feel good” w/o the words, until it got to “So good, so good” and the kids were supposed to blow 2 toots on their train whistles…..
We head out to Orangeburg tomorrow for a Baha’i Unit Convention, where we elect a full 8 delegates to the National Convention. I’m trying to think of 8 total Bahai’s I know down here w/ both first and last name. 
These are strange times. We continue to get messages of instructions in case of a real swine flu pandemic. The way it was described at a faculty meeting is the flu virus as a rubic’s cube. It keeps shifting around, shifting around, mutating. If it ever clicks in at the right spot for a more deadly virus that is resistant to current shots, bingo, we have a real deadly flu epidemic world-wide again. Schools closing would be some of the least bothersome things to happen. More like, people dying, possible quarantines, panic spreading. That would be the worst.
I wonder sometimes what we are in for. My kids and grandkids are now scattered to the winds in 4 different states. What if communication systems and technology really did break down for a length of time?? What then? I would be distraught and praying hours per day for their well-being, and not knowing. Our neighborhoods really would become our communities, as there would be no traveling per se.
I have this feeling, sometimes, that we have no idea what is really coming around the corner. And it is RIGHT around the corner! We’ve all been given all the warnings, and we do not heed them. We continue on as if it’s business as usual. It’s a sense of foreboding, and yet the foreboding is more about how to spiritually prepare? What really is the next step that God wants me to take? How can I connect more with the people around me? My family is so close, yet it is all dependent upon current technology.
** On another point, I presented my research at the college tonight. Nothing much to say. I think it went well, not many students of mine were there even though I offered “extra credit”. I really thought more woud be there. There were about 30 people there, I saw 4-5 of my students, and others asked questions, so that went well.
It’s nearly October and we are still having 90-degree summer days. There is change in the air, but not the same as up north. Our pool closes this weekend. No trees have shown a sign of changing color, all leaves still intact.
I want to write a word about my grandkids. It still amazes me that I have them, but I was a young grandma at age 42. That was 13 years ago.
Raven is now a teenager. Totally amazing. He is wonderful. Last time I saw him, he had passed me in height. (I am 5’4″ – not the tallest woman)
Raven’s parents have been divorced for years, but when I think back to the time of his birth, they were so in love. Their wedding was full of happiness and warmth, and much love. Their dance together still brings tears to my eyes when I remember it. They were in love, and I want their kids to strongly know that. They were very young, and happy together, at least for a few years. I think the immaturity of one side unraveled that love thread, but they were a love couple. Their mom is remarried and that was a lovely outdoor wedding, a beautiful day, with loving family members all around. There was much love that day as well. I just wanted the boys to know their parents did have a love marriage in the beginning.
Raven is the most amazing spirit, lanky, blonde, and type B personality, like his mom. He is a soothing presence to be around, and extremely smart. Also somewhat ADD, loses track of things and time. Raven is a leader by quiet strength of spirit, and his sense of humor. Very sociable in his own way. Plays soccer, football, cross country, tries to please everyone, but eventually will need to break that habit in order to find his own place in the world and who he is.
And then came Caspian, 5 years later. Caspian is a whiz. Lots of energy, can’t stop moving, also blonde, but a very different personality from his brother. He would be on the opposite end of the spectrum as a strong type A. He is a leader and loud about it. I pray to God every day to channel this kid’s energy somehow, for him to find a place to use it well. Caspian is now 8, a 2nd grader, can be very difficult to control. Doesn’t want to color between the lines. Sees the world outside the box.
And then there’s Zakiah, my sweetie boy. He is now 3. Biracial, bicultural, Kenyan-American. Really, he is just American by nationality, but he carries the history of his Kenyan family and all their culture with him at all times, through his father. He hears Swahili and English at home, along with Spanish at school. He will find his own place and identity in the world. He is aware of the world at all times, unlike some Americans. He is adorable, talking constantly, very smart, very happy. Also a strong defiant spirit, which, when channeled, will be a big plus for him in making decisions for his own life.
And then I have 3 step-grandchildren whom I never see. I have met them all, but since then, circumstances have changed to where I never see them. Joseph, through Jean, is also 8 and lives in Pittsburgh. Daisy and Ashley, my 2 beautiful Mexican granddaughters, are not allowed to see me or receive gifts from me. I have no say in that, so that’s the way it is. I feel sorry that they are deprived of their grandma who would love them greatly.
Through Jean’s half-sister, I have 3 other African-American “nephews” of sorts, Julian, Jonah and Jerry. What a group! Each of them has their own personality as well. Julian, the sombre thinker, Jonah the clown, Jerry the soul singer. 
They get together with Raven and Caspian and have a BLAST. It must be good to have multi-cultural cousins. They will look at the world in a more open way.
I pray for them all every day. One morning prayer is for them. May they make this world a better place with their presence.
“The earth is one country, and mankind its citizens.” –Baha’i writings.
I had an insight this morning. Not sure if I can put it into words.
Basically it is that, my position as professor is one that encourages and fosters the ego. Whether or not one is extrovert or introvert makes no difference. I am naturally an introvert. But once I got used to standing in front of a classroom for 50 mins. at a time, with all the students required to look at me and listen, it is amazing how I manage to talk the entire hour, intuitively wrapping it up at minute 45. As if all I have to say is important. It isn’t. What is important, and what makes the better professor or teacher, is to manage to bring out the students’ thoughts, not just off the top of their heads but as a thoughtful, critical thinking view of what they have read or heard from me. THAT is the goal of a classroom. And I have not been achieving that goal well enough.
What causes one to talk for the entire 50 minutes? or in some cases, if the class meets twice/week, for an hour + 15 mins.??
First of all, because you can. Students are in the position of not being able to complain about that. So the positions, in themselves, foster the ego of the professor. All desks are turned toward the front of the room, where the professor stands or the computer screen projects.
Second of all, because you are afraid. Because you think it is up to you, as professor, to tell the best story, present the material in the best way. And it is NOT up to you. It is only you if your ego is in the way. In reality, you are there to assist the students to critically think through the material. That is your job. What do they think and why? It is a constant exercise to get the self out of the way, and just assist.
And the best way to achieve that, is daily prayer. As we are told to do as Bahai’s, pray and meditate both morning and evening. Remind yourself that you are not in charge. It’s not up to you! It’s up to you to get your own ____ out of the way of their learning. If we say the short obligatory prayer every day, for example, we are immediately reminded, of “my powerlessness and of Thy might, of my poverty and Thy wealth.”
And as soon as I had this insight, I passed a church sign which read, “If God is your co-pilot, change seats!”
Doctor Grandma 