Archive for the ‘various personal musings’ Category

strange times

September 29, 2009

These are strange times. We continue to get messages of instructions in case of a real swine flu pandemic. The way it was described at a faculty meeting is the flu virus as a rubic’s cube. It keeps shifting around, shifting around, mutating. If it ever clicks in at the right spot for a more deadly virus that is resistant to current shots, bingo, we have a real deadly flu epidemic world-wide again. Schools closing would be some of the least bothersome things to happen. More like, people dying, possible quarantines, panic spreading. That would be the worst.

I wonder sometimes what we are in for. My kids and grandkids are now scattered to the winds in 4 different states. What if communication systems and technology really did break down for a length of time?? What then? I would be distraught and praying hours per day for their well-being, and not knowing. Our neighborhoods really would become our communities, as there would be no traveling per se.

I have this feeling, sometimes, that we have no idea what is really coming around the corner. And it is RIGHT around the corner! We’ve all been given all the warnings, and we do not heed them. We continue on as if it’s business as usual. It’s a sense of foreboding, and yet the foreboding is more about how to spiritually prepare? What really is the next step that God wants me to take? How can I connect more with the people around me? My family is so close, yet it is all dependent upon current technology.

** On another point, I presented my research at the college tonight. Nothing much to say. I think it went well, not many students of mine were there even though I offered “extra credit”. I really thought more woud be there. There were about 30 people there, I saw 4-5 of my students, and others asked questions, so that went well.

uplift

September 7, 2009

Tonight I wanted to post something uplifting. There is a heaviness to the air. We go back to work tomorrow, summer is over, pools are closing and Fall is in the atmosphere. Al was saying he doesn’t feel like he had vacation. Someone was working in the neighborhood this morning with a loud mower and weeder, and it should have been quiet. People did not respect the holiday (Labor Day).

However, kids were having fun fishing and riding around the neighborhood on their bikes, and they had a good day. Now they are in bed and getting up early for school tomorrow. I will get up early as well and head off to campus, trying to get back into work-mode.

Before posting something uplifting, let me say something the opposite. Al and I have been watching a show, “CRiminal Minds,” because it is well done. The characters are believable, somehow they have some depth and realness. But the shows are always about serial killers or people inflicting pain on another human being, especially men hurting women. I have come to believe there is a new sadism at work in nightly crime tv shows. Women are shown getting hurt, tortured and killed in umpteen different, sick ways, over and over and over. Though the good guys are trying to save them, it is SICK and sadistic, and I feel doing more harm than good. Tonight there was a new show starting, the premier episode of yet another crime tv show. I watched the first couple minutes, and saw a young teenage girl out in the woods with an older man, get her hands tied together and her head bashed in with a rock. In about 2 mins. of the show. I am disgusted. Seriously, what does this do to our inner psyches to watch this over & over?? If nothing else, it makes women afraid and in need of being rescued, and makes us feel there are tons of sadistic, serial killers out there. Yes, there are always some who appear but most murders happen because some young kid takes a gun to a robbery and stupid things happen. Guns are deadly.

We are all afraid of each other. We need to encourage purity of heart, charity without desire for payback, good works, thinking of the 1 good quality in a person even when there are 9 other bad ones, appreciation of difference and diversity, friendship, and service. Please keep good thoughts in your minds and put forth these good qualities into the world. It is really worthwhile to do so.

And now for the uplifting part. This is a talk given by ‘Abdu’l-Baha in a church, in England, in 1911. A prisoner most of his life, imprisoned for promotion of the oneness of humankind and other such things, He made one trip to the Western world as an old man. Totally unfamiliar with Western culture, yet He spoke from the heart and reached the depth of their souls. See how He uplifts! Just keep reading. Enjoy.

St. John’s Westminster: Introduction

On September 17th, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá at the request of the venerable Archdeacon of Westminster addressed the congregation of Saint John the Divine after evening service. With a few warm words characteristic of his whole attitude Archdeacon Wilberforce introduced the revered Messenger from the East, who had crossed seas and countries on his Mission of Peace and Unity for which he had suffered forty years of captivity and persecution. The Archdeacon had the Bishop’s chair placed for his Guest on the Chancel steps, and standing beside him read the translation of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá’s address himself. The Congregation was profoundly moved, and following the Archdeacon’s example knelt to receive the blessing of the Servant of God — who stood with extended arms — his wonderful voice rising and falling in the silence with the power of his invocation. As the Archdeacon said: “Truly the East and the West have met in this sacred place tonight.” The hymn “O God our help in ages past” was sung by the entire assembly standing, as ‘Abdu’l-Bahá and the Archdeacon passed down the aisle to the vestry hand in hand.

Outside the Church, Salvationists were holding their meeting and ‘Abdu’l-Bahá was deeply impressed and touched at the sight of the men, women and children gathered together in the night, at the street corner, praying and singing.   

Discourse of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá at St. John’s,

Westminster.

September 17th, 1911.

O NOBLE Friends! O Seekers for the Kingdom of God! Man all over the world is seeking for God. All that exists is God; but the Reality of Divinity is holy above all understanding.

The pictures of Divinity that come to our mind are the product of our fancy; they exist in the realm of our imagination. They are not adequate to the Truth; truth in its essence cannot be put into words.

Divinity cannot by comprehended because it is comprehending.

Man, who has also a real existence, is comprehended by God; therefore, the Divinity which man can understand is partial; it is not complete. Divinity is actual Truth and real existence, and not any representation of it. Divinity itself contains All, and is not contained.

Although the mineral, vegetable, animal and man all have actual being, yet the mineral has no knowledge of the vegetable. It cannot apprehend it. It cannot imagine nor understand it.

It is the same with the vegetable. Any progress it may make, however highly it may become developed, it will never apprehend the animal, nor understand it. It is, so to speak, without news of it. It has no ears, no sight, no understanding.   

It is the same with the animal. However much it may progress in its own kingdom, however refined its feelings may become, it will have no real notion of the world of man or of his special intellectual faculties.

The animal cannot understand the roundness of the earth, nor its motion in space, nor the central position of the sun, nor can it imagine such a thing as the all-pervading ether.

Although the mineral, vegetable, animal and man himself are actual beings, the difference between their kingdoms prevents members of the lower degree from comprehending the essence and nature of those of the superior degree. This being so, how can the temporal and phenomenal comprehend the Lord of Hosts?

It is clear that this is impossible!

But the Essence of Divinity, the Sun of Truth, shines forth upon all horizons and is spreading its rays upon all things. Each creature is the recipient of some portion of that power, and man, who contains the perfection of the mineral, the vegetable and animal, as well as his own distinctive qualities, has become the noblest of created beings. It stands written that he is made in the Image of God. Mysteries that were hidden he discovers; and secrets that were concealed he brings into the light. By Science and by Art he brings hidden powers into the region of the visible world. Man perceives the hidden law in created things and co-operates with it.

Lastly the perfect man, the Prophet, is one who is transfigured, one who has the purity and  clearness of a perfect mirror — one who reflects the Sun of Truth. Of such a one — of such a Prophet and Messenger — we can say that the Light of Divinity with the heavenly Perfections dwells in him.

If we claim that the sun is seen in the mirror, we do not mean that the sun itself has descended from the holy heights of his heaven and entered into the mirror! This is impossible. The Divine Nature is seen in the Manifestations and its Light and Splendor are visible in extreme glory.

Therefore, men have always been taught and led by the Prophets of God. The Prophets of God are the Mediators of God. All the Prophets and Messengers have come from One Holy Spirit and bear the Message of God, fitted to the age in which they appear. The One Light is in them and they are One with each other. But the Eternal does not become phenomenal; neither can the phenomenal become Eternal.

Saint Paul, the great Apostle, said: “We all, with open face beholding as in a mirror the glory of God, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, as by the Spirit of the Lord.”

O GOD the Forgiver! O Heavenly Educator! This assembly is adorned with the mention of thy holy Name. Thy children turn their face towards thy Kingdom, hearts are made happy and souls are comforted.

Merciful God! cause us to repent of our  shortcomings! Accept us in thy heavenly Kingdom and give unto us an abode where there shall be no error. Give us peace; give us knowledge, and open unto us the gates of thy heaven.

Thou art the Giver of all! Thou art the Forgiver! Thou art the Merciful! Amen. 

 (Abdu’l-Baha, Abdu’l-Baha in London, p. 22)

coffee

September 3, 2009

Since returning to campus and the semester, I started making one mini-pot of coffee per day — about 2 large cups — and sipping on it all day. (That way I can drink coffee all day long but only have 2 cups per day.) However, I am finding that I can’t sleep. Tonight I was very tired and getting a sore throat when driving home. That is my body warning sign: “WARNING: GET RESTED OR YOU WILL GET SICK NOW!”  Went to bed at 10:30pm or so. . . woke up an hour later . . . now it is 1:30 in the morning.

Today I also bought a bottled water to have at the office – refill at the water fountain. It tasted so good. I love my coffee but my body can’t take it any more. Will probably have to get rid of the pot, have 1 cup on my way in and end with that.

money / Hidden Words of Baha’u’llah, no.8

August 10, 2009

For the 1st time in a long time, I am really happy and hopeful about money. My husband has income. We switched banks and started over with a local bank. They know me already there and say hi when I walk in. They do not have a recorded automatic banking service, where if you DO get a “real” human being, you are talking to someone across the world or at least in California. The lady who opened my account for me said, “If you have any problem with your account, you do not call an 800#. You come and see ME.” I was so relieved!! Local service has disappeared with modern times, and it is exactly what we need and want. Recognition for ourselves as human beings, seeing and talking to people who know us personally! Can you imagine?

I am very, very happy in this house and neighborhood. Life is a blessing. There are kids and youth everywhere and we are making contact, gradually. Al walks the neighborhood 3X/day. I refuse to walk at midday. Today it was 103 degrees when I drove past the Methodist church temp. sign!

 

and now a Hidden Word to sleep by……….

O SON OF SPIRIT!
There is no peace for thee save by renouncing thyself and turning unto Me; for it behooveth thee to glory in My name, not in thine own; to put thy trust in Me and not in thyself, since I desire to be loved alone and above all that is.

 (Baha’u’llah, The Arabic Hidden Words, no.8)

Hidden Words of Baha’u’llah, no.7

August 7, 2009

lotus6Tonight I am really tired. I drove 12 hrs yesterday. There has been a lot of stress regarding money over the last month. Tonight, I could not go for a walk w/ my hubby around the pond. I have to listen to my body and know when it is telling me, “Too much, girl, take it easy and slow down.” Right now at 10:15pm, I feel the sore throat coming on, which is what my body does when it is overloaded. So I have to listen.

Here is “Hidden Words of Baha’u’llah” no.7, to go to sleep to . . .

O SON OF MAN!
If thou lovest Me, turn away from thyself; and if thou seekest My pleasure, regard not thine own; that thou mayest die in Me and I may eternally live in thee.

 (Baha’u’llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)

Indiana Baha’i summer camp

August 6, 2009

DSC00956

Caspian, Julian, a friend, Jonah, Raven

Indiana Baha’i Summer camp is all about the kids. 4 days of fun and learning in a spiritual atmosphere with your Baha’i family. Parents & grandparents attend with kids, so you have it all together.

Zakiah day 5

July 29, 2009

Zakiah is sleeping in his own bed back home with Mommy and Baba tonight. Grandma is staying overnight, then will be on her way to Indiana. Our 4-hr drive here was a pretty smooth ride, really. I did not even play a movie. Zakiah talked to himself in his carseat the whole trip. He DID ask me repeatedly, “Grandma, I want to go to my mommy’s house…” at least once every 20 mins. I’d say, “that’s where we’re going,” and he would respond, “OH-tay.” We stopped 2-3X, I don’t remember, not too bad.

I was thinking tonight, that in raising my 4 kids, I never, ever got such a break. My mom was an active alcoholic until the week Levin was born, and never did even watch the kids for an evening. She just wasn’t capable. I mean, she raised 4 kids, but she never watched my kids, even though we were in town. Let’s say, she wasn’t comfortable.

Anyway. I was never separated from my kids, ever. I took the girls to the World Congress and left the boys at home with Al. They were ages 10 & 7 at the time. At least one of them still resents that. I also went back to work when Levin was a year old. But we were always together at night.

I was also thinking that I was fierce in my being a stay-at-home mom for 11 years. It was the poorest financial time we ever had. And I did not go back to work. There is no way someone else was going to watch MY kids when they were so little. We also kept having them……. and it is hard to find a babysitter, let alone for an overnight, for 4 kids. We also could never afford a vacation, ever. So, I have many full memories of wracking my brain trying to think of free things to do. Library trips were a regular. They also check out puzzles and cassette tape books (I’m sure now they are CDs). Once in awhile we actually rode the bus just for something to do. most of the time, we’d walk to the drugstore and get something cheap, or walk to the donut shop. I can remember so many, many times, letting each of the boys pick out some toy at the Mall, as long as it was $2.00 or less. What the hell can you get for 2.00 or less? They always got some hot wheels car or an action figure on sale. Not having money, though, is very stressful and tiring, especially when you are raising kids. But that’s always when you don’t have any money. And now I see my kids going thru it.

I hope I have a safe trip tomorrow.

Zakiah, day 4

July 28, 2009

DSC00922

Today was a playground day. This was a great time. However, a little boy came right when we were ready to go home for a nap. Zakiah has been asking for his “friends” ever since he got here. He played with the boy for a few mins. & then I made him leave, and he was SOOOOO sad. He was reaching out his arm to his “friend” and crying. It was really hard for me to do, but we were already 1/2 hr. late for naptime, and I promised Mommy to try to stay on schedule. I think, really, he just reached his limit today, & is missing home very much. So it was a way for him to let out the sadness he feels. He has been very happy with us, playing, interacting, pretending, reading books, getting ice cream, it is been a great visit. He is just at his limit. I told him he will have so many friends at Mommy’s school, when he gets back home.

The other thing we did is stop to see the horses near us, close up. Got out of the car. They actually walked over to be closer to us and were eating grass near us. Zakiah sadly said, “They’re not saying HI to us.”  I said, no, horses can’t talk. Then he said, “They just make noise?” I said yes. Then, “They’re not making noise Grandma.”

Zakiah day 3 (Mon.)

July 27, 2009

  DSC00896  I feel like the days are very full, yet there is little to report. We are out of extra money this week, we are moving, so we are not doing things that cost money. I had planned to take Zakiah to Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia. But that will have to happen at another time.

Zakiah is a happy child. Today he played around me quite a bit. We started the day watching Diego and Dora the Explorer. He liked those, and joined in with some of the Spanish and English words. Dora always has a map, and Diego a backpack. We had banana and pancakes for breakfast. Zakiah loved a simple pancake with honey on it.

Then he and I made a trip to the new house. I brought the rest of our framed pictures and paintings and a few books, always more books. It was 10:30 by the time we left, so I drove thru McD’s and got us one chicken mcnugets meal to share, Zakiah having an orange juice as well. He explored the house but really lost interest in that faster than I thought he would. (As a kid, I was excited about exploring any new house. It was always a big, good time for me to run through a new house.) He found a chess set and played with that, but soon took pieces here and there, so that didn’t work too well either. I unpacked some small kitchen boxes, as we needed them back at the house to pack (more books) into.

We walked over to the pond behind the house briefly, then returned for a little more lunch, (sugarless) popsicle, and NAP. He has only had candy once while here. The nap was into 2 hours long, so I decided to run a load of books to my office, with Al calling me if he woke up. He did wake up and was very sad Grandma wasn’t here.

Some Newberry friends Al has made at a coffee shop here, came by to help us move our couch, my mom’s hutch, & a file cabinet. Zakiah was excited to return to the new house with Grandpa but very upset Grandpa rode in the truck and not with us in the car. We unloaded all that stuff there and took a relaxed walk around the big pond (see picture). Zakiah has learned while here to be interested in “the woods”. There were some side trails into the woods there so he said, “Let’s go THIS way.” He wanted to touch the water, but gave up on that when the grass got wet near the water (He was holding my hand). There are no ducks on this pond. We are not sure why. We heard frogs but couldn’t see them.

Back home, dinner, shower, brush teeth, phone call to Mommy and Baba, and to bed. He has 3 books he has adored reading every night here. (Kids get into habits and remember certain books). Every night we have read “Swimmy,” “Put me in the zoo,” and “The Giving Tree”. There is one other one which is an antique, a really strange, older book, called “The Funny Bunny Factory,” about some rabbits who live in an abandoned factory that they accidently turn on, and it starts making fancy colored and candy eggs.

Funniest part of the bedtime tonight was reading “Swimmy,” who is the only black fish in a school of all-red fish. Zakiah knows the part where he says “and ONE fish was BLACK,” and the next line is, “And his name was _______.”  Zakiah tonight said, “Dirty!” I guess this is the first time I’ve interacted with Zakiah closely with books and he has listened all the way to the end, and taken part in the words as he gets to know them.

He has missed Mommy and Baba too, and reacted with pure delight tonight when I said, “And day after tomorrow we go to mommy’s house.” He also is into the letter “s” and the SSSSS sound. Every time he says “Yes,” he hangs onto the ssssssssss sound. I also noticed him accentuating a “t” sound at the end of a word tonight, saying t-t-t- a few times.

Other than this, he was out in our yard here at the older house for awhile and always enjoys that, a little bit in the sprinkler, etc. He is happy outside.

Zakiah day 2

July 26, 2009

July 26th. DSC00886

Zakiah woke at about 7:30am. We had banana and cereal for breakfast. We left about 9:15am to drive to our friends’ in Waterloo, about 45 mins. from here. Zakiah watched Toy Story on the way there, had my Buzz Lightyear talking doll with him.

At our friends’, he met Julian, Niki and Dalilah, ate cheese and crackers and cantelope melon, drew a little bit and really enjoyed the yard outside. They live near South Carolina woods and are fairly isolated. A long, windy dirt road leads  back to their property. We met the dog, and heard a rooster crow outside. We also watched and chased a blue butterfly that landed near Zakiah and flapped its wings for him to see.

Zakiah found a large stick and drew in the sand with it. He also thought the sandy dirt was “the beach”. It was very pleasant outside and we listened to the wind blowing through the trees.

Before leaving, we said prayers. Grandpa was going to take Zakiah outside before they started, but Zakiah requested Blessed is the Spot, so we sang it and he sang many of the words. It was obvious he was familiar with singing it. Grandpa then took Zakiah outside and we each said one more prayer.

Watched “Tigger movie” coming home. We were ready to put Zakiah down for a nap, but our neighbors called saying someone was wanting to see the house. Zakiah had toys in the living room and we had things we were moving sitting around. I swept the floor & we cleaned up, then laying Zakiah down about 3:00. They came early, 3:20, so Zakiah got right back up. They looked all through the house & took pictures for another couple thinking of moving here. I think they liked it.

After they left, Zakiah finally fell asleep about 4:00, slept until nearly 6. At one point, I looked in the room, he raised his head up and I sat down near him and held him, talking to him & realized he was actually still asleep. I laid his head down and he was right back out.

When he woke up, we ate dinner (chicken, rice, veggies) and had a popsicle. he played in the sprinkler for a few mins. Took a walk down the road with Grandpa, took a shower, played a little more, read 4 books and he laid down w/ no problem except that he refused the small homemade bed and insisted on sleeping on the floor with “all his animals” around him. I will move him later.  

I think in the morning we will go straight to the new house. He will enjoy seeing all that. Playground nearby. I plan to unpack a few kitchen dishes & bring those smaller boxes back here to take the last of Al’s books in them. Other than that, the plan for tomorrow is playground. I may try to hit Dreher Island State Park immediately after 5pm because it’s free. There is a little area with a small bridge that leads to a small island where the lake water laps up onto the shore.

Zakiah has also enjoyed seeing horses close to a road we drive down near here. I think we need to stop the car and let him go up to the fence one time.

(His funniest expression: “Oh, MAN?” exaggerated & said like a question at the end.)