Doctor Grandma

Painfully,

I open the book

to Chapter 6,

the only one of 12

for which I have

no notes,

Resolve to get through it

before reading through them,

to prepare for the final

I have yet to take,

though in reality I know

my heart is elsewhere,

trying still to avoid

the summer that is past,

in order to change

the future,

Yet,

what’s past is past,

today is today,

and tomorrow never comes,

All we can do to prepare for it

is to strive,

to act,

and to pray,

All we can do

is accept where we are,

be happy for this day..

cfblack  08-08-15

Today is a too sad day.

If I could,

I would go back in time,

a million times,

over and over again,

to pick you up the night before,

to prevent this summer from happening.

It might have happened

another time,

in another place,

with some other one,

but it would not have happened

the way it did,

it would not have happened

to us.

Hummingbird comes and flutters,

to a background of locusts singing,

stops for a moment in front of me,

then flies to other worlds,

— There is no feeder for you here,

how did you know to come?

Two rainbows in a matter of days,

appear with all their colors,

Then driving home, a shooting star,

stroke of light across the night,

a paintbrush in the sky,

Some choose to ignore these special gifts,

and take no notice of them,

I choose to see them as a sign,

the Universe has given.

Most of my passwords

Involve your name,

Grandchild of mine,

One we have loved

since the very day you were born,

Why is life so difficult?

How can we help you to grow?

How can we help you live in peace,

Discover who you are?

My heart is burdened

With love for you,

My heart is breaking in two,

I try to work,

but thoughts of you

block my concentration,

Do all that you can to get through this,

Do all that you can right now,

Your family surrounds you

And goes with you,

We are always wherever you are.

Cfblack, 07-19-2015

We love,

And love some more,

Until the heart could burst asunder,

We hurt,

And hurt some more,

Until the heart is bleeding from it,

We pray,

And call to God,

Though there seems to be no answer,

We believe,

And believe more,

Because we must arise from ashes,

Then a butterfly,

Fans her wings,

On the second-story window,

And an angel

Speaks so lightly,

That the sun will come tomorrow,

In each life

There is a brightness,

And it guides us to the dawning,

In each soul

There is a thread

That unites us and will lead us

On our way.

cfblack 07-13-2015

What force on earth

could possibly have brought you here?

How could it end like this?

Were you not just out with a buddy or two,

Walking through the neighborhood?

What could have happened?

What words were said

To end your life in this violent way?

You were just 14,

Your life beginning,

You weren’t even finished with puberty,

What could cause someone in their early youth

To react with the blast of a gun?

We are not animals!

We are human beings,

We have a rational mind and soul,

Where was the heart

Of the one who did this?

What was the pointless goal?

Your mother’s heart is grief stricken tonight,

No mother will heal from this,

And for what??
what was it

that brought this about?

Why a life taken

So very young?

Did you know you were hit?

Did you lie there in shock?
Did your friends run away and desert you?

There are no words to say

As I sit here, and think

How your body lay there

Just outside my door,

Across the street that I see every day,

Near the place where I bring in the car,

Nothing is ever for certain,

Every day is a gift sent from heaven,

and for you, my young friend,

there is no earthly treasure

worth the loss of your young life amongst us.

— cfblack, 07-04-2015

Sit down,

Don’t move around,

Find your inner quiet.

The house will wait,

the dishes will wait,

Calm yourself,

and listen.

Hear the cicadas in the trees,

their sizzle that builds to a crescendo,

They make the sound of a rainmaker

in a musician’s hands,

Feel the air circulate,

hear the sounds,

Avoid the sun,

but know it is there.

Drink lots of water,

Replenish what is lost,

Experience the heat

of 100 degrees,

Soon, the machine will run again,

its cool air will blow from out the vent,

Windows will close you off to the world,

You will no longer be part of this universe.

cfblack  06-21-15, written as our air conditioner broke down in 102-degree South Carolina summer heat.