Doctor Grandma

Just watched Michael Jackson’s “This is it.” His spirit is felt throughout the film. He was a tremendous, irreplaceable artist, phenomenal. His gentleness is evident all through the film as well, never raising his voice but knowing exactly what he wants and insisting on it. Repeating instructions for exact movements and moments for the music to enter.

He didn’t really appear to be in good health. Incredible skinny. Partly because he was rehearsing and saving the ultimate performance for the show, he never really moved like you wanted him to. A lot of walking across the stage to the beat of the music. But part of me wonders how much was his age, and how much was his drug addiction and just plain poor health. He looked anorexic, to say the least.

I appreciate his loving spirit, which we need more of in the world. He was incredibly nieve. However, I also think it was not his time to go. He should still be here. And though a doctor may go down for his untimely death, a lot of the blame is on Michael’s shoulders. He had to know he was addicted. And he continued to the end requesting meds he knew could do him in. He had to have known that. A figure like Michael is hard to refuse. As a doctor, he had the obligation to say “no” and to not prescribe some obviously life-endangering combination. But Michael also knew. He was on stuff for years, and made comments even to Priscilla about it years and years previous. It angers me that people stay addicted to substances and take no responsibility for their condition.

We miss you greatly, Michael. Your children need you and you should still be here with them. I am sure your loving spirit will love them and guide them through their lives.

I have been truly sad at the loss of Michael J. I feel he was one
of the few great artists of all time. He also had a gentle heart.
Many idiosyncracies and probably addicted to pain meds. I do
not believe he molested children. As a performer, he could not
be beat and it is sad his concerts scheduled for London will
never be seen. But it is what it is. His love for humanity and
all living things shines through in his music, Man in the Mirror
being the greatest. Earth song also great. Many love and fun
songs where his power of performance is just exquisite. We
will miss Michael in this world. So many are heart broken at this
loss.

I am spending lots of time at home and terribly bored. But things
have to be sorted through in this next month, before our busy
end of July and visit again to Indiana!

Today I spent time typing up a family history page for good old
James Agnew, so far the patriarch of our family tree! It takes
LOTS of time and I’m glad I signed up to ancestry.com for a
full year. But during the school year my time will be very
limited.

Then came to my office for the past 3 hours and sorted through
junk & papers from umpteen classes. I’m actually finally
organizing 10 years worth of graduate school papers, books,
and odds & ends. All the course I’ve taught over the past 6
years. It is excrutiating. But very good to have it all finally in
my own office. What fun.

Will probably paint my delapidated office this summer sometime.
I don’t know whether or not to ask permission or to just DO IT.
They don’t care & they haven’t painted it in 20-odd years. I’m
contemplating a light lilac, then put up my print that says
“Excellence” with some lilac tints, & a picture of a whale diving,
up on the wall. It’s an odd but inspiring print I found at
Goodwill one time, and it inspired me all through writing my
dissertation last summer.

The sun is going down and I am going home, maybe to take an
evening walk with my honey. Temps are near 100 during the days
but cooler at night.