Doctor Grandma

June 11th, spent most of the day with Leah, Naylah and Zakiah at a Life and Science museum in Durham. It was amaszingly hands on for kids with tons of stuff to do and learn. For example, a wind park with large toy sailboats you could “drive” — operate remotely– from the side of the pond; giant “seeds” that went 20 feet into the air on a conveyor belt and then swirled down for kids to catch them; a dinosaur walk in the woods with replicas of dinosaurs around every corner; a huge “sand box” play area; a place to take sticks and beat loudly on drums, xylophones and tympany drums; and many other things. Naylah spent most of the time in the snugli and sometimes in the stroller. Leah could stop to nurse her whenever needed. We were all tired by the time we left. After watching many parents with small children, it suddenly occurred to me how HAPPY I am that my kids are raised!! Praise God, all that they are going through I made it through. I’ve done my parenting bit. All the exhausted nights, children’s classes, saying prayers and brushing teeth at bedtime, all done. We made lots of mistakes along the way, some of them pretty terrible. But our kids are all amazingly doing okay.

I have 2 more days here. Then I take Zakiah back to our house for this next week, returning on the weekend with my husband again. I feel sad that my 24/7 time here is about up. But everyone will go on with their lives and get used to these new stages we are in. And as grandparents, we are closer this time than when Zakiah was born. Naylah will know us and miss us when we go home, more than Zakiah did before he was 2.

Took Zakiah to the Mall this morning. Zakiah wakes up asking you to play baseball with him. He is awake and 1st thing, ready to go. He would not stop to eat breakfast but would bounce outside and start playing, if he were allowed to. It is hard to explain to him that Grandma’s aren’t quite the same. We awake, take a while to sit up in bed, slowly get out of bed, take an hour to drink coffee, have a little breakfast and get awake and ready for our day! I will miss Zakiah’s energy, even though I look forward to more time of my own in the future. The transition will be really hard now, since I will have been here nearly a month by the time I go home. Sad to think about right now. Zakiah is so used to waking up with Grandma in a bed next to him. “Dwama, wet’s pway.”  (Grandma, let’s play.)

So we spent 4 hours at the Mall, where he played in a kid’s play area (2 different times), we bought a few girly outfits for Naylah, ate in a food court, and then another 40 mins. in an outdoor area where water fountains sprayed intermittently while kids ran around and through them. By the time we got home, he was exhausted and slept for 2 hours +.

I feel a poem coming on about the total strength of a woman giving birth. If you ever have the opportunity to witness a birth, JUST DO IT. There is something sacred and all-encompassing amazing about witnessing such a totally awesome event. At this one, I sat back and watched, observing, as I was there for Zakiah, the big brother. We were being very quiet in the last few minutes before, which is when we came in.

Watching my own daughter giving birth to a granddaughter is something indescribable. Daddy Jean did an excellent job as well. As the baby descended down the birth canal, they were the most extreme, intense, but controlled moments imaginable. The two midwives coached, supported, spoke encouraging words, and told her when to stop pushing and allow her own body to stretch. They said, “There is no rush.” Indeed, what an amazing thing to say at that time, but it was true. The mother in those last moments can become confused and need wise coaching. She forgets, and needs to be told to take a deep breath, to breathe. She needs to hear she is doing beautifully, that they can see her baby’s head descending. It is the most amazing time. I remain firmly convinced that, given the encouragement, any mother can do a natural childbirth, and it is less likely to lead to complications. All this intervention stuff adds to the complexity of things going on, and leads to more problems! These problems can come from the mother not feeling a dang thing and not knowing even when she is having a contraction, not knowing when to push, when to relax. Problems also come from baby receiving unnecessary drugs. I fully support the mother, as she needs to do what she is comfortable with, but if doctors could remember that they are usually only catching the  baby, and it is a natural process that happens on its own, things would be much better for mother AND baby. I also am convinced that women understand women, and there is a wisdom in midwives helping a mother through birth. However, a woman wants her partner with her also, the person she loves the most, the one she made the baby with. They should share that event. His presence is invaluable as well.

When this chance comes up for you, do not hesitate— just GO, you will not regret it for one moment.

Baby arrived at 6:49am this morning. Will write more later– 6 lbs., 5 oz., 19 inches, no complications, beautiful birth.

Grandma was holding Zakiah and came in just before birth, sitting some distance away. Zakiah started tearing up so Grandma walked out with him to reassure him, and the next contractions brought the baby! We came right back in. We were all excited she was a little girl.

Naylah Chemutai Justina Ruto

I forget what Naylah means…

Chemutai: Kenyan middle name for ” born in early hours of the morning”. All girl middle names start with Che.

Justina for Jean’s mother

Contractions woke Leah up around 1am, they woke me up at 3am, we left shortly before 4am, arrived at birthing center around 4:45, baby was born 2 hours later. Zakiah woke up at 4 and was up until just now, when he is going down for a nap, 1pm. Zakiah got his big brother present, a baseball and bat.

Leah and Jean left for the Birthing Center appt. She’s having light contractions and has been all through the night. We will see what the midwives say about dilation. Leah is hoping, we all are hoping, but we have to be resigned to the will of a higher power than ourselves. Whether you see that as nature or God, it is definitely somewhat beyond our own control. This baby will be born and these last 2 weeks will soon become a distant memory of waiting.

I will pick up Zakiah at 12:30 & either bring him home for a nap, or go toward where they are, depending on what is happening by that time. At this point, I am resigned to whatever, I just feel for Leah, who has been feeling these contractions on and off for days now. It is hard to wait for a baby.

2:00 update: We do not yet know if Leah is coming back home, or if things may intensify. Still waiting.

7pm update: They came back home. Still light contractions, everything set and 4cm. If the baby’s head gets any lower, it will be coming out. There is no way this can go on much longer. She’s still feeling light contractions, what a pain….

Zakiah: “Dwama, did you ever hear of a game, you put water in bawoons and then you fwow dem, and water fwashes out?”

Zakiah had 3 hours of down time today and never fell asleep. His momma quit taking naps at age 3.

10pm update: We’re going to bed, light contractions still going on here. Leah will be so glad when she doesn’t have to worry about them anymore! It’s been so long since I came here, 10 days now.