Doctor Grandma

Leah and Jean left for the Birthing Center appt. She’s having light contractions and has been all through the night. We will see what the midwives say about dilation. Leah is hoping, we all are hoping, but we have to be resigned to the will of a higher power than ourselves. Whether you see that as nature or God, it is definitely somewhat beyond our own control. This baby will be born and these last 2 weeks will soon become a distant memory of waiting.

I will pick up Zakiah at 12:30 & either bring him home for a nap, or go toward where they are, depending on what is happening by that time. At this point, I am resigned to whatever, I just feel for Leah, who has been feeling these contractions on and off for days now. It is hard to wait for a baby.

2:00 update: We do not yet know if Leah is coming back home, or if things may intensify. Still waiting.

7pm update: They came back home. Still light contractions, everything set and 4cm. If the baby’s head gets any lower, it will be coming out. There is no way this can go on much longer. She’s still feeling light contractions, what a pain….

Zakiah: “Dwama, did you ever hear of a game, you put water in bawoons and then you fwow dem, and water fwashes out?”

Zakiah had 3 hours of down time today and never fell asleep. His momma quit taking naps at age 3.

10pm update: We’re going to bed, light contractions still going on here. Leah will be so glad when she doesn’t have to worry about them anymore! It’s been so long since I came here, 10 days now.

While waiting, I remember our 4 different births. Two were in a hospital with a doctor, two were home births, meaning, at home. Our first was a typical first, we didn’t know what we were doing. As soon as contractions were regular, we rushed to the hospital, excited, only to wait there for 15 hours, hooked up to a heart monitor almost the entire time. Our doctor had one very important PLUS: He did the Leboyer birth, really believed in it. Lights were turned down, it was a little after 5pm, sounds were kept to a minimum, we spoke in quiet voices, no spotlight was placed on the baby when it was being born, and directly after birth, Jasmine was placed into a small baby bath right at my bedside. She opened her eyes and was very calm. Al held her in the bath while I watched. I nursed her once or twice, and was then banned from nursing her, as she had “possible ABO incompatibility jaundice” which we later found out never even developed. They just stopped the nursing just in case it might develop. I had O+ blood and Jasmine had A+. No big deal. I pumped and poured the colostrum and milk down the sink. On the 5th day, we all went home. Jasmine was now used to hospital bottles and had to start nursing all over again. She would cry until she got a bottle and then go to sleep. So I got rid of all bottles in the house. I realized my only chance to be a nursing mom was to get rid of them. We did fine.

Leah’s was very different. We went to the same doctor but got his partner, who was totally an interventionist. Even so, in those days, epidurals were unheard of, and CERTAINLY NOT routine. We had learned from the first time, so took hours getting to the hospital. Once there we discovered we were very near birth, and were only in the hospital for less than 2 hours before she was born. With all that, the doctor still managed to do his routine intervention, which was totally unnecessary: an internal fetal heart monitor. What this is, is a tiny screw which the doctor literally takes up the birth canal and screws into the top of the baby’s scalp. She kicked me when it was inserted — I know she felt it! This is then attached to a machine on the outside. There is absolutely no reason for it to be routine. It was just one of those technology-driven interventions doctors love. He also kept threatening to tie down my hands if I happened to reach to touch my baby as it was being born (a natural thing mothers tend to do). He was all about sterile technique. That’s fine for surgery, but not as necessary in a hospital birthing room. We stayed one night and went home. Leah’s birth picture looks like a bruised face baby, I think because she came out so fast!

Jamal was our 1st home birth. Birth is natural and without unnecessary intervention, usually goes quite well without complications. Midwife Carolyn Regnier attended. I think a dosen or so people were there. About 1am Al and I took a walk around the block to speed things up. I started puking on the street. 🙂  We had baby doll presents for our girls for when the baby was born, and people to attend to them. They were in the room when their brother was born. I think I was such a calm mother in labor that this worked.

Levin was our last, also a home birth. Midwife Pat Schwaiger attended. Also there were Molly Witt and Shirley Morris who cooked for everyone there and helped w/ the kids. Molly was moved to write a poem about the event, called “Peaceful Thomas”. I think maybe my sister was there too, I don’t remember. And Lorene Hunt. By the time I was finally ready for the actual birth, the contractions were so strong, I could not move off the living room couch, so they spread everything out underneath me, and that is where Levin was  born. His cord was actually wrapped around his neck 3X and the midwives had to unwrap it carefully, before the final moments. They are extremely skilled and know what they are doing. We were 3 blocks from a hospital in case of emergency. This midwife called me “the woman who births alone”, but actually, I knew my husband’s presence and wanted him there the whole time.

And those were our four births.

June 1st, Tuesday morning. Zakiah just went to school. Raining here, which for now, is cooling things off. Sun did not come into my window this morning. Had a nice visit w/ my husband yesterday, now he and Levin went back home. Leah had light contractions yesterday, which slowed to a stop again last evening. You have to just greet each day as a fine day and let nature take its own course.

9pm: I bought Leah & Jean a used baby swing that actually matches another baby furniture thing they had, thru Craig’s list today. It was a good buy & will give them something to lay the  baby in downstairs. Their baby bed is upstairs.

Playing hide and seek with Zakiah goes like this:

“Grandma, COUNT 1 to 10!”

“Okay, 1-2- etc.” 

If we’re outside, I see Zakiah running from behind one tree to another. If we’re inside, it’s “Grandma, I’m on the couch!” then raising his head to see me, & hysterical laughter.

Leah & Jean have an appt. at the Birthing Center tomorrow, for which they were told to bring “all their stuff” and they might try castor oil. Not sure what they think that will do that quickly, but anyway, they will go and I will pick up Zakiah from school and bring him home for a nap, depending on what’s happening or not happening ……Below is Zakiah with magnolia tree bloom.