Archive for September, 2009

my family

September 9, 2009

My nuclear family, the one I was born into, is scattered to the winds. First of all, there are only 3 of us out of 6 who are left in this world. My father died unexpectedly of a heart attack in Aug. 1969. He was 50, I had just turned sweet 16. I adored my father. My mother lived to nearly 85 years, passing of a degenerative heart condition (a faulty heart valve) for which she elected not to have surgery and lived 4 yrs. after that, to late June 2007, 2 years ago. She became an active alcoholic after our father’s death, for the next 16 years, but then recognized her condition and quit cold turkey, never again drinking, immediately after my 32nd birthday and the birth of our 4th & last child. My older brother died this year, at the end of April, 2009. His adult life was consumed with addictions and mental illness. I say all of this to illustrate that our nuclear family has not had an easy time at building relationship. I was able to be with both my mother and brother in their last days in the hospital. Went with my mother (and an early boyfriend of that time) to the hospital with my father when he then passed away in the hospital, quickly.

My younger brother and I have a relationship, thankfully, although we truly don’t know each other well, due to our family’s history. I enjoy his kids on facebook. We live 4 states apart now. My relationship w/my sister is another story. Our relationship has had a difficult time since our mother died. We were talking a little on facebook. Then one day she pulled herself out of my “friends” list and ended talking on facebook.  She gave her opinion, said she was ending our facebook relationship, and cut off discussion. She felt facebook was not a relationship, which it’s not, but it’s all we had at the time. To me, this just came out of the blue and was not sending a message of, “Hey I really do want a relationship.” To me, it felt hurtful but I had no way to express this to her. The e-mails I had for her did not work. I have no idea what her current phone number is, but besides that, her action was not one that seemed to open the door to call her in a friendly manner. I have since learned that to her, she felt we should be communicating some other way.  

I have decided to say the unity prayer every day, for my family. God can take it wherever it will best serve. My task is to stay focused, look for the 1 good quality, and be detached from the outcome. Perhaps the 3 in the next world can help us here, to resolve whatever we can in this life. Perhaps nothing will ever be resolved in this life. My task is to try to be loving and leave the rest to God. As our mother learned in AA, “Let go and let God.”

O my God! O my God! Unite the hearts of Thy servants, and reveal to them Thy great purpose. May they follow Thy commandments and abide in Thy law. Help them, O God, in their endeavor, and grant them strength to serve Thee. O God, leave them not to themselves, but guide their steps by the light of Thy knowledge, and cheer their hearts by Thy love. Verily, Thou art their helper, and their Lord.

uplift

September 7, 2009

Tonight I wanted to post something uplifting. There is a heaviness to the air. We go back to work tomorrow, summer is over, pools are closing and Fall is in the atmosphere. Al was saying he doesn’t feel like he had vacation. Someone was working in the neighborhood this morning with a loud mower and weeder, and it should have been quiet. People did not respect the holiday (Labor Day).

However, kids were having fun fishing and riding around the neighborhood on their bikes, and they had a good day. Now they are in bed and getting up early for school tomorrow. I will get up early as well and head off to campus, trying to get back into work-mode.

Before posting something uplifting, let me say something the opposite. Al and I have been watching a show, “CRiminal Minds,” because it is well done. The characters are believable, somehow they have some depth and realness. But the shows are always about serial killers or people inflicting pain on another human being, especially men hurting women. I have come to believe there is a new sadism at work in nightly crime tv shows. Women are shown getting hurt, tortured and killed in umpteen different, sick ways, over and over and over. Though the good guys are trying to save them, it is SICK and sadistic, and I feel doing more harm than good. Tonight there was a new show starting, the premier episode of yet another crime tv show. I watched the first couple minutes, and saw a young teenage girl out in the woods with an older man, get her hands tied together and her head bashed in with a rock. In about 2 mins. of the show. I am disgusted. Seriously, what does this do to our inner psyches to watch this over & over?? If nothing else, it makes women afraid and in need of being rescued, and makes us feel there are tons of sadistic, serial killers out there. Yes, there are always some who appear but most murders happen because some young kid takes a gun to a robbery and stupid things happen. Guns are deadly.

We are all afraid of each other. We need to encourage purity of heart, charity without desire for payback, good works, thinking of the 1 good quality in a person even when there are 9 other bad ones, appreciation of difference and diversity, friendship, and service. Please keep good thoughts in your minds and put forth these good qualities into the world. It is really worthwhile to do so.

And now for the uplifting part. This is a talk given by ‘Abdu’l-Baha in a church, in England, in 1911. A prisoner most of his life, imprisoned for promotion of the oneness of humankind and other such things, He made one trip to the Western world as an old man. Totally unfamiliar with Western culture, yet He spoke from the heart and reached the depth of their souls. See how He uplifts! Just keep reading. Enjoy.

St. John’s Westminster: Introduction

On September 17th, ‘Abdu’l-Bahá at the request of the venerable Archdeacon of Westminster addressed the congregation of Saint John the Divine after evening service. With a few warm words characteristic of his whole attitude Archdeacon Wilberforce introduced the revered Messenger from the East, who had crossed seas and countries on his Mission of Peace and Unity for which he had suffered forty years of captivity and persecution. The Archdeacon had the Bishop’s chair placed for his Guest on the Chancel steps, and standing beside him read the translation of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá’s address himself. The Congregation was profoundly moved, and following the Archdeacon’s example knelt to receive the blessing of the Servant of God — who stood with extended arms — his wonderful voice rising and falling in the silence with the power of his invocation. As the Archdeacon said: “Truly the East and the West have met in this sacred place tonight.” The hymn “O God our help in ages past” was sung by the entire assembly standing, as ‘Abdu’l-Bahá and the Archdeacon passed down the aisle to the vestry hand in hand.

Outside the Church, Salvationists were holding their meeting and ‘Abdu’l-Bahá was deeply impressed and touched at the sight of the men, women and children gathered together in the night, at the street corner, praying and singing.   

Discourse of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá at St. John’s,

Westminster.

September 17th, 1911.

O NOBLE Friends! O Seekers for the Kingdom of God! Man all over the world is seeking for God. All that exists is God; but the Reality of Divinity is holy above all understanding.

The pictures of Divinity that come to our mind are the product of our fancy; they exist in the realm of our imagination. They are not adequate to the Truth; truth in its essence cannot be put into words.

Divinity cannot by comprehended because it is comprehending.

Man, who has also a real existence, is comprehended by God; therefore, the Divinity which man can understand is partial; it is not complete. Divinity is actual Truth and real existence, and not any representation of it. Divinity itself contains All, and is not contained.

Although the mineral, vegetable, animal and man all have actual being, yet the mineral has no knowledge of the vegetable. It cannot apprehend it. It cannot imagine nor understand it.

It is the same with the vegetable. Any progress it may make, however highly it may become developed, it will never apprehend the animal, nor understand it. It is, so to speak, without news of it. It has no ears, no sight, no understanding.   

It is the same with the animal. However much it may progress in its own kingdom, however refined its feelings may become, it will have no real notion of the world of man or of his special intellectual faculties.

The animal cannot understand the roundness of the earth, nor its motion in space, nor the central position of the sun, nor can it imagine such a thing as the all-pervading ether.

Although the mineral, vegetable, animal and man himself are actual beings, the difference between their kingdoms prevents members of the lower degree from comprehending the essence and nature of those of the superior degree. This being so, how can the temporal and phenomenal comprehend the Lord of Hosts?

It is clear that this is impossible!

But the Essence of Divinity, the Sun of Truth, shines forth upon all horizons and is spreading its rays upon all things. Each creature is the recipient of some portion of that power, and man, who contains the perfection of the mineral, the vegetable and animal, as well as his own distinctive qualities, has become the noblest of created beings. It stands written that he is made in the Image of God. Mysteries that were hidden he discovers; and secrets that were concealed he brings into the light. By Science and by Art he brings hidden powers into the region of the visible world. Man perceives the hidden law in created things and co-operates with it.

Lastly the perfect man, the Prophet, is one who is transfigured, one who has the purity and  clearness of a perfect mirror — one who reflects the Sun of Truth. Of such a one — of such a Prophet and Messenger — we can say that the Light of Divinity with the heavenly Perfections dwells in him.

If we claim that the sun is seen in the mirror, we do not mean that the sun itself has descended from the holy heights of his heaven and entered into the mirror! This is impossible. The Divine Nature is seen in the Manifestations and its Light and Splendor are visible in extreme glory.

Therefore, men have always been taught and led by the Prophets of God. The Prophets of God are the Mediators of God. All the Prophets and Messengers have come from One Holy Spirit and bear the Message of God, fitted to the age in which they appear. The One Light is in them and they are One with each other. But the Eternal does not become phenomenal; neither can the phenomenal become Eternal.

Saint Paul, the great Apostle, said: “We all, with open face beholding as in a mirror the glory of God, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, as by the Spirit of the Lord.”

O GOD the Forgiver! O Heavenly Educator! This assembly is adorned with the mention of thy holy Name. Thy children turn their face towards thy Kingdom, hearts are made happy and souls are comforted.

Merciful God! cause us to repent of our  shortcomings! Accept us in thy heavenly Kingdom and give unto us an abode where there shall be no error. Give us peace; give us knowledge, and open unto us the gates of thy heaven.

Thou art the Giver of all! Thou art the Forgiver! Thou art the Merciful! Amen. 

 (Abdu’l-Baha, Abdu’l-Baha in London, p. 22)

Hidden Words of Baha’u’llah, no.12

September 7, 2009

O SON OF BEING!
With the hands of power I made thee and with the fingers of strength I created thee; and within thee have I placed the essence of My light. Be thou content with it and seek naught else, for My work is perfect and My command is binding. Question it not, nor have a doubt thereof.

–Baha’u’llahcandle

short obligatory prayer

September 3, 2009

I was just going through the short obligatory prayer that Bahai’s say daily, & had a few thoughts.

“I bear witness, O my God…” 

1st line made me think of the tradition in Christian belief, to “witness” for God and for Jesus. To witness is to give praise to God publicly, talk about your belief in the open with others. Bear witness to your faith. So we start out by doing this.

“…that Thou hast created me, to know Thee and to worship Thee.”

Our purpose. What we were created for. It explains our relationship to the Creator. We are not the Creator, but the creation, which is a relief because it tells me, we don’t have to know everything, or understand it all. We can accept imperfection. Somehow in our worship of God the Creator, we gain a closer sense of true love, and what Perfection is.

Next line. “I testify, at this moment,”

Testify. Speak — do not be silent. There is a gospel song in the back of my mind about testifyin’. We are living in the present, in this moment. Not in the past, for that is gone, and not in the future but right now. What we do in this moment determines how the future will go.

“… to my powerlessness, and to Thy might,”

The first step in any 12-step program is to recognize one’s own powerlessness. Powerlessness, in some cases, is a good thing. We are again affirming our station, not as the Almighty but as the creation who can continually progress toward perfection. There is always more to learn. Leaning upon the Mighty will guide us to the next step, whatever it is.

“… to my poverty, and to Thy wealth.”

Poverty and wealth in a spiritual sense. Poverty is never the cause of degradation in any religious book. Only poverty of spirit. Somehow we are responsible for that. Baha’u’llah elsewhere says, “Tell the rich of the midnight sighing of the poor,” and in another place, “If poverty overtake thee, be not sad; for in time the Lord of wealth shall visit thee.”

And the prayer ends with, “There is none other God but Thee, the Help in Peril, the Self-Subsisting.”

There is only one God. This is a statement we really do not believe today. All those prayers being said to God, from those in so many faiths, really do rise to only One. The One. The Only.

“The help in peril,” which in itself is telling us we are not protected from danger. Danger, peril, these things will touch us. What is always promised is that He IS the HELP in these times. He will help us. We are never without help, never left alone, no matter what. That is the promise.

“the Self Subsisting.” There is only one God, and He is always far and above the rest of creation. He is in fact, Self-Subsisting. We are the opposite. We cannot exist on our own, and in fact, die if left alone. We are made as social creatures, and a human baby one of the most vulnerable of infants, over a long period of time. And yet, we are bathed in His love at all times. We may choose to not turn towards it, but that does not mean it is not there. “I loved Thy creation, hence I created thee . . . Wherefore, do thou love Me … that I may name thy name, and fill thy soul with the spirit of life.”

“I bear witness, O my God, that Thou hast created me to know Thee, and to worship Thee. I testify at this moment, to my powerlessness and to Thy might, to my poverty and to Thy wealth. There is none other God but Thee, the Help in Peril, the Self-Subsisting.”

coffee

September 3, 2009

Since returning to campus and the semester, I started making one mini-pot of coffee per day — about 2 large cups — and sipping on it all day. (That way I can drink coffee all day long but only have 2 cups per day.) However, I am finding that I can’t sleep. Tonight I was very tired and getting a sore throat when driving home. That is my body warning sign: “WARNING: GET RESTED OR YOU WILL GET SICK NOW!”  Went to bed at 10:30pm or so. . . woke up an hour later . . . now it is 1:30 in the morning.

Today I also bought a bottled water to have at the office – refill at the water fountain. It tasted so good. I love my coffee but my body can’t take it any more. Will probably have to get rid of the pot, have 1 cup on my way in and end with that.

Hidden Word no.11

September 2, 2009

O SON OF BEING!
Thou art My lamp and My light is in thee. Get thou from it thy radiance and seek none other than Me. For I have created thee rich and have bountifully shed My favor upon thee.

 (Baha’u’llah, The Arabic Hidden Words)

 rose