Doctor Grandma

Leah and Jean left for the Birthing Center appt. She’s having light contractions and has been all through the night. We will see what the midwives say about dilation. Leah is hoping, we all are hoping, but we have to be resigned to the will of a higher power than ourselves. Whether you see that as nature or God, it is definitely somewhat beyond our own control. This baby will be born and these last 2 weeks will soon become a distant memory of waiting.

I will pick up Zakiah at 12:30 & either bring him home for a nap, or go toward where they are, depending on what is happening by that time. At this point, I am resigned to whatever, I just feel for Leah, who has been feeling these contractions on and off for days now. It is hard to wait for a baby.

2:00 update: We do not yet know if Leah is coming back home, or if things may intensify. Still waiting.

7pm update: They came back home. Still light contractions, everything set and 4cm. If the baby’s head gets any lower, it will be coming out. There is no way this can go on much longer. She’s still feeling light contractions, what a pain….

Zakiah: “Dwama, did you ever hear of a game, you put water in bawoons and then you fwow dem, and water fwashes out?”

Zakiah had 3 hours of down time today and never fell asleep. His momma quit taking naps at age 3.

10pm update: We’re going to bed, light contractions still going on here. Leah will be so glad when she doesn’t have to worry about them anymore! It’s been so long since I came here, 10 days now.

While waiting, I remember our 4 different births. Two were in a hospital with a doctor, two were home births, meaning, at home. Our first was a typical first, we didn’t know what we were doing. As soon as contractions were regular, we rushed to the hospital, excited, only to wait there for 15 hours, hooked up to a heart monitor almost the entire time. Our doctor had one very important PLUS: He did the Leboyer birth, really believed in it. Lights were turned down, it was a little after 5pm, sounds were kept to a minimum, we spoke in quiet voices, no spotlight was placed on the baby when it was being born, and directly after birth, Jasmine was placed into a small baby bath right at my bedside. She opened her eyes and was very calm. Al held her in the bath while I watched. I nursed her once or twice, and was then banned from nursing her, as she had “possible ABO incompatibility jaundice” which we later found out never even developed. They just stopped the nursing just in case it might develop. I had O+ blood and Jasmine had A+. No big deal. I pumped and poured the colostrum and milk down the sink. On the 5th day, we all went home. Jasmine was now used to hospital bottles and had to start nursing all over again. She would cry until she got a bottle and then go to sleep. So I got rid of all bottles in the house. I realized my only chance to be a nursing mom was to get rid of them. We did fine.

Leah’s was very different. We went to the same doctor but got his partner, who was totally an interventionist. Even so, in those days, epidurals were unheard of, and CERTAINLY NOT routine. We had learned from the first time, so took hours getting to the hospital. Once there we discovered we were very near birth, and were only in the hospital for less than 2 hours before she was born. With all that, the doctor still managed to do his routine intervention, which was totally unnecessary: an internal fetal heart monitor. What this is, is a tiny screw which the doctor literally takes up the birth canal and screws into the top of the baby’s scalp. She kicked me when it was inserted — I know she felt it! This is then attached to a machine on the outside. There is absolutely no reason for it to be routine. It was just one of those technology-driven interventions doctors love. He also kept threatening to tie down my hands if I happened to reach to touch my baby as it was being born (a natural thing mothers tend to do). He was all about sterile technique. That’s fine for surgery, but not as necessary in a hospital birthing room. We stayed one night and went home. Leah’s birth picture looks like a bruised face baby, I think because she came out so fast!

Jamal was our 1st home birth. Birth is natural and without unnecessary intervention, usually goes quite well without complications. Midwife Carolyn Regnier attended. I think a dosen or so people were there. About 1am Al and I took a walk around the block to speed things up. I started puking on the street. 🙂  We had baby doll presents for our girls for when the baby was born, and people to attend to them. They were in the room when their brother was born. I think I was such a calm mother in labor that this worked.

Levin was our last, also a home birth. Midwife Pat Schwaiger attended. Also there were Molly Witt and Shirley Morris who cooked for everyone there and helped w/ the kids. Molly was moved to write a poem about the event, called “Peaceful Thomas”. I think maybe my sister was there too, I don’t remember. And Lorene Hunt. By the time I was finally ready for the actual birth, the contractions were so strong, I could not move off the living room couch, so they spread everything out underneath me, and that is where Levin was  born. His cord was actually wrapped around his neck 3X and the midwives had to unwrap it carefully, before the final moments. They are extremely skilled and know what they are doing. We were 3 blocks from a hospital in case of emergency. This midwife called me “the woman who births alone”, but actually, I knew my husband’s presence and wanted him there the whole time.

And those were our four births.

June 1st, Tuesday morning. Zakiah just went to school. Raining here, which for now, is cooling things off. Sun did not come into my window this morning. Had a nice visit w/ my husband yesterday, now he and Levin went back home. Leah had light contractions yesterday, which slowed to a stop again last evening. You have to just greet each day as a fine day and let nature take its own course.

9pm: I bought Leah & Jean a used baby swing that actually matches another baby furniture thing they had, thru Craig’s list today. It was a good buy & will give them something to lay the  baby in downstairs. Their baby bed is upstairs.

Playing hide and seek with Zakiah goes like this:

“Grandma, COUNT 1 to 10!”

“Okay, 1-2- etc.” 

If we’re outside, I see Zakiah running from behind one tree to another. If we’re inside, it’s “Grandma, I’m on the couch!” then raising his head to see me, & hysterical laughter.

Leah & Jean have an appt. at the Birthing Center tomorrow, for which they were told to bring “all their stuff” and they might try castor oil. Not sure what they think that will do that quickly, but anyway, they will go and I will pick up Zakiah from school and bring him home for a nap, depending on what’s happening or not happening ……Below is Zakiah with magnolia tree bloom.

Here it is May 31st! We only have today to make my prediction come true, that this was going to be a May baby. All I have to say is, from all appearances, BOY WAS I WRONG!

Who would’ve thought, with contractions and  being 3-4cm a week and a half ago, here we would still be. Nature and babies have a mind of their own.

My husband and son are coming to see us today. We have rarely been separated in our 38 yrs. of marriage. This stint here will be one of the longest, I think, because after baby comes I will still be here awhile. That was the whole point.

// 8pm update: Al & Levin came, took a walk around Shelly Lake, got caught in a downpour, grilled chicken & veggies, put Zakiah to bed, everyone in this house is now asleep except for me! And Leah has been having light contractions all afternoon. . . –? Not sure if they are still going.

(poem for my daughter, May 30th, 2010)

Nine-Month-Pregnant-Belly

Envision a cup of water

Full to the brim,

the top of it rounding over the edge,

Held together by invisible powers that

when touched,

suddenly release the tension,

and the water spills down

like a waterfall.

That is how we are right now,

Expectant, Awake,

with tension building,

the final days of a Pregnancy,

Belly so full with child,

We wait, and we wait some more,

Knowing that soon we will see

who this person is,

and then Love will flow down,

like a waterfall.

The update is, the labor slowed down and stopped yesterday! Leah’s body just does this. We hope it gets past this point very soon! I continue to get a good night’s sleep and wake up with the sun coming into the room. No one has wakened me up in the middle of the night to go to the Birthing Center.

This morning Leah is busy making 3 strawberry pies with sugarless jello and pudding. Yesterday she made jars of sugarless strawberry jam.

Sayings from Zakiah age 3 1/2:

“Mommy, are we fwends?” “Are you pwoud of me?”

Thomas the Train book music not working, “This is TEWWIBLE.”

Upon seeing a place where they are clearing trees to build something, “That is VERY SAD.”

“Grandma, your name is Carol Grandma Black. Right?”

1:30pm. I am in my favorite workplace. Panera. The WIFI is so easy to use, there are people around, smooth sounding music. A little less intrusive than Starbucks, and for some reason, Starbucks WIFI is horrible to try to use. I never have gotten it to work. I am working for a couple hours on my book……. blah…….(I keep telling myself, whatever I get done is more than if I had not started….)  — then going back to probably take a first of the summer swim in their neighborhood housing pool.

3:30 update: Revised late chapters, up to final chapter. Necessary rearranging, to make all chapters match better. This work is never-ending, just like this pregnancy… Stopping now to go swim.

We are having light contractions, have been all morning. We will see if they continue. They may or may not. I have a feeling today (tonight) could be the day. Went to pick strawberries this morning. It was a really nice place, organic strawberries, rows & rows of red ones to pick! We had fun. We filled 3 buckets. Leah hasn’t said much all morning, which is why I think this time may be different. She is rather detached from the rest of us. She came home, stood leaning over with a contraction, went upstairs to lay down. Jean brought her a light protein snack (rice cake, peant butter, strawberries). I am putting Zakiah down for a nap.

No baby yet, no active labor yet. It is getting frustrating, but it’s okay, We just have to trust that maybe the little one needed just a little more lung development in there, before he or she joins us on this side of the womb. The baby has moved position from where it’s been for quite awhile, so I really think things are just lining up and it’s a matter of days or hours. Leah is very ready, Jean wants everyone to have a positive outlook.

Today Zakiah did the “Walk around the sun” ceremony at his school. Since he has a summer birthday when school will not be in session, he did his today, before they have a long break. He holds a world globe and walks around “the sun” represented by a lit candle on the floor. For each walk around the sun in a complete circle, the earth has gone through one full year. With each circle, something is said for each year of his life, so far. Leah wrote something for each year. It is really cute. Then they all sing Happy birthday with 3 different songs, one in English, one in Spanish, and some other one where they stand up and sit down numerous times.

It is so hot and humid, & there is no air conditioning on here. I am really, really uncomfortable during the day. But for ALL four of my pregnancies, we never had air conditioning. We never had a house with such a luxury until AFTER all our kids were born. I may buy them an extra fan tomorrow, if they want it, because when you don’t have air conditioning, you need to use fans to circulate the air. It makes all the difference. I can remember coming home with a large, pregnant belly, turning on a fan and sitting right smack in front of it. My babies were born in June, two in August, and one at in September. Always the hottest weather.

This also brought back memories of sitting in my Dutch grandparents’ living room, where they always had a circular fan which spun air out in all directions. We loved it and I’ve never seen another one like it. I can hear my grandma scolding us to stay away from it because it would “cut off our fingers” if we got too close. In those days, they probably would have. My grandma was so scared of her house being broken into at night, that every night, with no air conditioning, she made my grandpa shut and LOCK tight every window in the house. They were not reopened until the next morning.

Got my hair cut short today! I’m loving it. Good for the hot weather again. I will learn to put some mousse on it and pull it out somewhat, to show different lengths and hopefully make it look okay. It is VERy short, but I know my hair grows fast, and I think this is a good cut, so it will look good as it grows out.

Tomorrow morning we are going to pick strawberries, and we may attend a Kenyan festival late in the afternoon. 3-day weekend coming up, and hopefully, a baby!

Today may set records for the hottest May 27th since the 1940s here. It is expected to go into the 90s.

I felt that Leah really may go into labor last night. But not yet. She is really wanting to, but we do this kind of thing naturally, so we wait for baby. I reminded her that she was 11 days past due date for her own birth. That is how it’s done naturally!! No scheduling, inducement and all that, to fit a doctor’s schedule or his golf game. We just wait. She just got off work so really should enjoy the chance to totally RELAX while Zakiah is still in preschool and baby is not here yet! She’s only on her 2nd day of not working, so she is ancy. She did not sleep well last night.

I am in a library today, trying desperately to organize my book chapters, so I can send this thing in. Why is it so difficult. Leah & Jean are home doing all their laundry.

… It is now 4:00 and I am leaving the library. I succeeded in editing all but the last chapter, for the most part. It has a general organization, although to me it still appears to have numerous parts that could be cut down or cut out. But I’m about to the point of sending it in and letting editors decide. I have no confidence that this will be accepted by the publishers. I only hope that the stories are unique enough and well written enough that it is accepted as a project they want. I want an actual contract, will revise however they want.

For now I must stop, though I don’t want to, and go home & play with Zakiah, who is already disappointed that Grandma is not there after school.

// Played w/ Zakiah, put a large puzzle together, ate with Leah, Jean went to his CNA class, watched 1st hour of “So you think you can Dance” and a new episode of “1st 48,” going to bed, it’s still hot (no air conditioning here)!  Next 2 days we are expecting storms — Everything is ready, something will happen soon!–

This morning while Zakiah was leaving for school, I was joking with him and taught him to say, “BOO-yaw!” He said, “What does that mean, Grandma?” I said, “ALL-RIGHT! Yeah!” So he went off to school saying “Boo-yaw.”

Went to Leah’s midwife appt. w/ her. Jean is sick w/ strep, getting better today but not eating healthy enough to feel good yet…  The birthing center report is that the baby dropped down one more centimeter. The midwife couldn’t feel the baby’s head because it was down so far. She said usually when you have a mucous show like Leah’s been having, it is 48-72 hrs. So we hope things happen soon. Also realized this baby will be a Gemini — so it’s your sign, Jasmine! That much we know.

This afternoon, Zakiah and I picked up some batteries for his Thomas the Train book. Now it makes ALL KINDS OF SOUNDS!! Aren’t Mommy and Daddy happy now? Ha ha.

Read a book with Zakiah, he sang two prayers, Lee won American Idol and Leah is having some light contractions as I go to bed. She has been doing this regularly, but so far they always stop.