–this just came to me this morning:
New day, it’s a new day y’all,
Tuesday morning sunshine,
The birds do not yet know
winter is coming,
They sing their hearts out
for the new sun arising,
New day, it’s a new day
Make some noise,
Walk forward
into the Light.
Okay, so, I finished it and sent it this morning at 1am. I am very relieved and tired. Very happy. Worst fear: they say it is not good enough for the book. In which case, I’ll revise it as a journal article & get it published somewhere else. It’s fine. Learned a lot. Felt fearful I might have a heart attack if I stayed up any later last night, which is how exhausted I was. I am relentless!! Missed my deadline of midnight by 1 hour. Not bad. Helluvalota work in one dang week, will never do that again. Seriously tired now, going back to bed, doing nothing today but eat, relax, sleep, walk, enjoy life…………….
SO HAPPY!!!!!! Book published, journal article coming out this month or next, now a chapter in a book, IN ONE SEMESTER!!!!!!!! Totally rocks. ROCK DA HOUSE, YEAH!
This feels exactly like when I had to sit down and just start writing my dissertation. You just have to start writing. The rest will come. It is the most excruciating thing. I worked ALL DAY YESTERDAY in my office!! No one else around. It is October break.
There is a breeze today on a day of absolutely rare beauty. All I want to do is go out there and walk around the lake somewhere. I did walk around our pond. Couldn’t figure out what was so great about this day, then realized there is actually a nice BREEZE. Almost felt like the wind off of Lake Michigan, in Chicago.
I am about to lose my mind working on this but will continue. One more day. It takes so much TIME to do research. Time time valuable time. No other idiot is in their office at the college working today. Only me……. What some academics do is continue this pace their entire career. They are highly published and totally nuts with work. I refuse to become that.
Finished today, finally, going through 51 news articles from a New Bank, all about private prisons.
I really have very little specific and interesting info. on grassroots organizing. Now I see what’s missing and try to somehow fill in the blanks. Totally out of time.
You know what always amazes me about research, is the amount of stuff you LEARN. I am learning so much, now about private prisons, something I didn’t realize is SOOO much an entire area of research on its own. People are out there rallying against private prisons, which has been only a corner of the market and will probably stay that way. The issue is being debated in every state & in other countries, Articles about Scotland, New Zealand, & many more are debating having prisons run like a business.
I am very tired & stressed, but just going forward to get through all the info. I have, & will then see what’s missing. Tomorrow I do a phone interview at 11am. I will have to take notes, as I don’t have time to record or transcribe, & can’t even locate my recorder at the moment. Tonight I am going through 2 yrs’ worth of articles that came out of a News Database from our library, with a search on “private prisons”. 67pp. I am learning so much from it, though it’s mostly background material. Occasionally I run across something really important for my chapter.
My 7pp. now written is from links and names sent to me on e-mail. Haven’t even finished that material, still need to go back to my online prison reform groups & check them. Even though I said to write me on email, some will just post a message to the online group, so I have to go back & check.
I will have to break at some point soon & grade my last midterm exams, as midterm grades are due tomorrow.
…Meanwhile, the 33 MINERS still underground after 2 mos. are about to be rescued, God willing, starting tonight. I am glued to CNN, tho’ I turn off the sound as it distracts me totally. CNN is running it 24/7 until they are all out. Please God let them all get out. What would you do if you were down there? Would you volunteer to be the last one out?
As of tonight I have 7 pp of a very boring chapter. I am starting to get down in writing some of the wealth of material I have been given via e-mail, I have accessed their websites and written down facts. I do not have personal stories that add depth and emotion. That is what will make it a good chapter. I feel good to get started writing it, feel like I will turn something in on Friday, but feel very tired and stressed over not having a polished piece of work. Makes me realize how much I learned in my dissertation research that I never would have gained from reading their webpages.
And tonight I feel very, very tired. Started today waking up at 6, got up at 7, proctored 3 tests for our adjunct who was at a friend’s wedding today, at 9, 11 & 12, taught my own class at 1, didn’t have a minute to eat anything until 2:30. The lunch room doesn’t serve lunch after 1:30 (because they’re stupid) so I had a glorified chicken nugget sandwich and some more of the same old predictable and boring salad bar. Mmm, yucky food. Oh well. Worked on the chapter the rest of the afternoon, gave a make up test, gave one early test, then gave the night class…….. a test. The last student took an hour & 1/2. Open book tests mean students take longer, and some still fail. Always amazes me.
I think I’ll write a post-a-day to document writing a chapter for a book in one weeks’ time. What other insane person in the world would attempt such a ridiculous thing? I’ve had this assignment since at least last April, but I’m writing it this week. After getting the assignment, I left for Raleigh & was there for a month for new baby. Entire summer was traveling or had grandkids here, and in fact, during that time I revised my book for publication. This is a chapter in another 3-vol. series.
Today, contacted main person who sent me so much info. Got consent form back from him via e-mail. Went thru his long e-mail, got familiar w/ & wrote down all organizations & names in it. Wrote first 2 1/2 pages (intro). And emailed consent form to 2 more people. Some I have to call tomorrow, only have phone #’s for. Worried about whether or not to tape record interview, don’t even know if I can manage to hook up recorder to office phone or home phone. Needs to be landline. Won’t have time to transcribe anyway.
Grading mid terms for 4 classes, including essay questions which I refuse not to give them, because they need to learn to WRITE, and write CLEARLY. I give the last one Monday night. Almost done grading the other 3.
Took a long walk around the pond today, saw something I had never seen. Somehow the sun was so bright, the air so still, I could view the fish, large and small, swimming near the bank, clear as a bell. The large fish just “sit” very still, in the water. Maybe they wait for a small fish to go by their mouth and just grab it. Didn’t see any frogs, though I heard just a few over at the one end where the water doesn’t move at all. Didn’t see any turtles. The water level is quite low, there is mud all around. Appreciate the sun still brightly shining and warming the day up to about 80 degrees in October….. Still love where I live.
A few kids were fishing off the dock at the picnic table area. Our neighbors’ two dogs both barked at different times today, irritating the hell out of Al and I. (If we had a screened-in porch, we couldn’t sit out back and enjoy it. Neighbors leave their dogs out there and let them bark at every fly that comes around.)
Our son seems to have perhaps risen above a quite low point he was in the other night. I hope it lasts. Life is hard. Always a challenge, always a mystery.
This morning I awoke to sounds of guns or rifles going off in the woods behind our house. I think it is deer season. Our next-door neighbors have 3 boys & one little girl. They have been seen dragging deer hunting paraphenalia into the woods near here. Makes me afraid to go walking near my own house.
I have total respect for taking the life of an animal who can provide needed food and warmth to people when they need it. I’m not such a fan of hunting for sport. But even that, I can put up with, as long as they’re not skinning the hide off some animal in the backyard next to mine.
But I have very little faith in the wisdom of deer hunters during deer season. It’s such a man-thing to have to bring in the deer catch of the day. They take risks they shouldn’t take. Do you really trust them not to take unnecessary risks, when it could mean their getting their one deer for the season? I don’t. People are stupid, male pride is involved, and competition within families. Makes me very nervous.
ha ha ha. My book project is completed! It is going to print, I will receive a free copy (the only free one I get) in 8-12 weeks. The cost for my book will be 79 euros. Ha, I figured it out to be about $109. TOO MUCH but it’s not really overpriced. That’s what books cost these days.
So now that it’s finally done…… I can’t really believe it. Anyway, for the next week I have an intense, impossible project to write a chapter for a different BOOK, a 3-vol. series. My chapter is the only one on grassroots efforts (against private prisons). This is a dig. To be only about private prisons is a tough one. But I do have connections already with grassroots groups working on prison reforms, so I’m asking. A few people already answered. I got one great website and a possible interview w/ someone there. Perhaps it will happen. It will be another dang miracle.
So I got my feelings hurt this week as well. One thing I’ve learned. When it happens, it doesn’t matter if it seems like it “should” feel trivial. You feel what you feel. You have to open it up to God and your self and figure it out. Doesn’t matter if it “should” feel trivial. It is what it is. Best to take care of it, nurture your soul, heal yourself, don’t ignore the pain. It’s amazing how therapeutic it is. Pay attention to yourself, healing is important. Before you can put it behind you, you have to feel it, figure out what it is, what happened with yourself to have this reaction. Look for the good and wholesome answer. Love yourself and others.
Back to the writing. Feels good to finally get started on this project. All other meetings have been suspended for the next week and 1/2. And when this project is done, then I am DONE with publishing!! Time to celebrate for awhile. Then I can play with research, look at things I’m interested in, and take my time. Enjoy it. Something different! If I accomplish a journal article (done), a Book (done) and a CHAPTER, in one semester, I never have to publish another dang thing.
Doctor Grandma 