Crickets in denial:
Singing summer love songs, while
Winter closes in.
haiku
October 28, 2011lessons learned
October 27, 2011Lessons learned at this point in my life:
Always trust in the bounties of God.
Life is circular. People you’ve known come back around. Tests you’ve faced return also, especially if you never learned what you were supposed to learn the 1st time. Sometimes they just come back for no reason at all. The only thing that won’t come back is your youth. Unless you want to count grandchildren.
Grandchildren are the EXQUISITE JOY of life!!
Saying prayers works. There is always an effect. It may take some time for you to witness it. I can’t explain it but there are forces and movements in the universe, and prayer has an effect. That’s all I can say.
I have also learned that when you think you’re out of groceries, you can actually exist for at least a week on what’s left in your frig & your pantry. It’s amazing how simple life can be.
late October on the pond
October 23, 2011Sun sets sometime around 7 – 7:30. Just before dark, a few bats can be seen flitting high above, in quick, darting motions, almost like birds but way too fast and changing directions too many times, eating up any insects hovering in the air. The large heron swoops in, making a low squawking sound. It will be found stalking small fish on the edge, even after dark. The frogs have gone into hiding, they are no longer to be seen jumping across the sidewalk, moving from woods to water. I know that deer start their dusk movement, but they are not seen near our houses. We occasionally see them crossing the roads nearby. It seems to me I don’t hear song birds as much as last year. Perhaps the mockingbirds are mocking other types of bird calls, haven’t heard them singing much.
The trees have only now noticibly started turning. They won’t be as bright yellow, orange and red as up north. They turn a dingy-type red down here, then turn brown and fall in maybe November. We’ve had a couple nights where it hit into the 30s, days still in the mid-to-high 70s.
Agnew history
October 22, 2011Been reading this “Book of the Agnews” Agnew history. I bought it years ago from Ebay, turns out, it is famous. I haven’t been able to figure out any direct link to our family yet, which is the very frustrating part. I’m beginning to be resigned to it taking years if never to get resolved. But there are a number of “name” clues, etc.
There were 3 AGNEW brothers who seem to be the ones who left Western Scotland (Lochnaw area) and migrated to Ulster, IRELAND.
One of their descendants was born in Britain in 1671, and left (Ireland or Britain) for the American colonies, settling in Pennsylvania. He had 3 sons: Samuel, James (1711-1770), and John (went to Virginia). Samuel (w/ his wife Mary) & James are buried in Marsh Creek cemetary, Gettysburg, PA, & the Agnew crest is on their graves. (James is in Lower Marsh Creek, Samuel in Upper Marsh Creek). This is where the “plantation” was– Marsh Creek.
James lived 1711 (b. in Ireland) — to 1770 (died in PA). His sons were named John, Samuel, James II, & David. He also had 6 daughters. **I have no clue that he is OUR ancestor, but it’s interesting. He first came over. Executors of his estate were his sons John & David. To John, David, and James, he left property, acres of land. To Samuel, he left “100 pounds of Pennsylvania currency, to be paid to him three years after my decease”. He was to be paid by David. (What did Samuel do?? Or was he just too young to inherit property?)
To James’ wife, Rebekkah, he left a number of things, including “2 negroes, Jack and Phoebe, to attend upon her as long as she shall live”………!! It is unusual for the slaves to be NAMED in the will. This could be a clue for someone’s African American ancestors, as it has their first names.
Many of these Agnews are wealthy, in the Presbyterian church, doctors, a professor, or in the iron business.
We of course have many JAMES’. We also have Johns. There was also a Samuel Agnew, who I haven’t been able to place elsewhere yet, who was said to be born in PA but in the house of James Agnew in OHIO in 1850 & 72 yrs. old. This is the record of (probably ) OUR James as a 9-yr-old in a house w/ James and Mary, his family, and an elder Samuel.
the times we live in
October 20, 2011Isn’t it amazing we live in times where you cannot un-order something you once ordered, if you can no longer afford it? Otherwise I might just DIS-ORDER our cell phones, but no, we “ordered” them with a required 2-year contract. I disconnected mine temporarily & gave my husband my cell phone, & we got rid of his DROID, which automatically charges an extra $30./mo. for Internet usage. But my account (my phone #) will automatically come back on in 3 mos. In other words, you can temporarily suspend an account, but after 3 mos. they start charging you for it again, whether or not you’re using it. HOW DID WE ALLOW THIS AS THE AMERICAN PUBLIC?? How do these companies get away with this BS? Who sells something that you are required to use for 2 years and you cannot turn it off, if your financial circumstances change & you can no longer afford it?? You can’t be a responsible citizen, you have to pay it, or let it go to collection which ruins your already dwindling credit rating. The times we live in.
I come from the land of winters
October 19, 2011I come from the land of Winters,
Relatives, stone-faced, pose for the camera,
Mother, Father,
their children before them,
All standing proud,
not a trace of smile,
the Dutch sailed from Amsterdam to New York harbor,
from there to the great lakes and Chicago,
down to Indiana,
the Dakotas in the west,
This is the land of winters,
Where tulip bulbs snuggle deep into the earth,
While blizzard winds blow above them,
Piling drifts against doors of houses,
and children hope for schools to close,
Children learn to dress for cold,
their fingers, in gloves, still go numb,
Thick socks and boots cover little toes,
Scarves wrap noses and
tie behind the head,
and they go out to play,
Snow suits are part of a child’s wardrobe,
Underwear is long and insulated,
Papers delivered on below-zero mornings,
Hot chocolate awaits icy fingers at home,
A fireplace adds to the warmth of a room,
Leaves turn in September,
fall in October,
Ice covers pond through April or May,
Spring comes late in June,
Tulips rise from their graves,
Summer is HOT
But short-lived,
Where loss of power, means loss of life,
“Snow blindness” is a known disease,
People grit their teeth to face the cold,
And walk into the wind,
Gray clouds form a blanket
for weeks at a time,
like some long and lingering depression,
Survival here brings strength of spirit
Not understood in other lands,
in truth it takes a certain skill,
passed down for generations,
Being from the land of winters,
I have learned,
You can ignore the Cold that surrounds you,
And go about your day,
You can survive the harshness,
And just go out to play,
Lay down in the freezing snow,
Make a Snow Angel. 
C.Black 10-19-2011
Black / Orndorf family history
October 15, 2011Another one traced back to Germany. To my kids:
Fremont and Romelia Black are Chet’s grandparents, parents of Earl Black. They marry on May 4, 1879.
Romelia had a twin sister, Rosalia. Romelia and Rosalia, the twins, were born Feb. 4, 1861 in Clark County, Illinois.
Romelia and Rosalia’s parents were: Pheneas (or Phineas) and Mary Ann Orndorf (sometimes spelled with 2 Fs).
Phineas is first married to Catherine Jennings (mar. date 1836). Catherine dies in 1854, perhaps in giving birth to George (below).
Phineas and Mary Ann Richardson get married, on June 22, 1856, he is either 44 or 50 years old, Mary Ann is 22.
In 1860, they are listed in the census in Illinois, with all these children.
John age 16, born in OHIO
William, 13
Margaret Ann, 10
Sarah C, 7
George, age 6 — From JOHN to GEORGE they are born in OHIO, probably children of Catherine Jennings.
James P., age 5, b. in ILLINOIS
(Perhaps Phineas marries Mary Ann after this birth above.)……
Henry, age 3
Ida Virginia, 2
The twin girls Romelia and Rosalia are born the following year in 1861. Perhaps Pheneas and Mary got together and came to Illinois, having James, Henry, Ida and the twins………..
By 1870, Pheneas is gone, and Mary’s name in the census with children James (now age 15), Henry, Ida, Romelia and Rosalia, is MARY MULLEN.
There is a marriage record for Mary Ann Orndorff and Commodore Perry Mullen in 1866, but even PERRY is not in the household by the 1870 census. (Mary Mullen is head of the household.)
Phineas is listed as born in Virginia. his father, LEVI ORNDORF was born in Virginia in 1791. He lived his entire life in , Virginia. LEVI’s FATHER WAS:
Johannes Peter “John” Ohrndorff Orndorff (different spellings)
He immigrated from Burbach, Nordhein, Westfalen GERMANY arriving in Philadelphia at the age of 9, in 1753!
Time line for the twin girls:
Born Feb. 04, 1861.
Romelia marries Fremont Black in 1879,
Rosalia marries William hoesman in 1880.
Romelia dies in the home of Earl Black in Dc. 1937.
Her twin sister Rosalia dies in Oct. 1938.
Romelia and Fremont are YOUR great-great grandparents. They are buried in West Lebanon, Indiana.
this precious life
October 14, 2011Recently, 2 things happened that made me once again realize the absolute preciousness of life. Every single life. First, we found out grandchild no.5 is on the way. How precious is that?? We are so excited! They had 2 ultrasounds and 3-4 blood tests for the doctors to tell them: normal baby developing as it should. Just smaller, younger than you thought it was! And so, we have a picture of this little one, this precious life. Welcome to the family, may you grow and grow and grow, can’t wait to see you!
isn’t life WONDERFUL??
baby grandchild
Now I am not a “right-to-lifer”. I find abortion absolutely appalling, however, I believe the mother carrying the child has to have the right to choose. I respect her right to make that decision. I just don’t see how you can FORCE any woman to carry a child she does not want to carry, plus there are too many questions still on the table for folks to know in any way except your own spiritual beliefs, when exactly that growing embryo is a human being with full protection of the law. I FEEL PERSONALLY it certainly is a human being. But I respect any woman’s right to make that choice, that decision, for herself.
Secondly, I saw “YOU DON’T KNOW JACK” a film about Jack Kevorkian’s crusade to assist people in their own suicide. I am still struggling to put into words on a page the internal thoughts & feelings about the sanctity of LIFE that arose from watching this film. To help with this, let me put some thoughts into the form of questions. Perhaps that is the best way:
- When someone has a debililtating, fatal disease, at what point, on what day, does their life become worthless?
- If it is a fatal disease, why not wait out a few more days and allow your loved ones to care for you? Maybe this is their task, maybe it is their calling, their joy. Is it your decision when to take yourself away from them? They will never see you again in this world.
- Suffering is a part of life, always. For some, it seems they receive way MORE than their fair share. Still, we all are susceptible to that. None of us CHOOSE to be the one to suffer the most. It is available to all, and could strike any one of us at any time. None of us are immune. There is no Superman or Superwoman. There is no Bionic Man. So whoever is suffering, in a way, is ALL of us, it is who we are, it is our humanity.
- When in the process of dying, should we choose to die, to take our own life away? We all will die, it comes to each and every one of us, and when it does, we must go through it alone. It is inescapable. There are no promised rose gardens, no guarantees in this life, in this world, when that time will come to any of us. It could be tomorrow, tonight. It could be 50 years away. None of us know. Why should we suddenly be able to decide the exact moment? What if we were to meet someone tomorrow and affect their life? How do we know? How can we be sure our time is up?
It is questions like these that struck me while watching each person in the film decide the moment they would die. I thought, “How selfish,” really. How presumptuous. Why not let life take its course? You know why? Because we want to die with DIGNITY. And this is oftentimes what is denied to us in hospitals, especially if we have INSURANCE to cover treatment! More treatments, more unnecessary surgeries, at the end of life, when we SHOULD be given time with our families, time to say good byes, time to somewhat adjust to our upcoming loss. Time to reflect, time to make ammends, time to forgive. So often we do NOT get that, because doctors do not even share WITH us what is happening!
Also, we don’t want to be a burden to our families. But perhaps this is part of our humanness as well — taking care of another human being, especially when they are HELPLESS and when they are suffering, because that is when they are in need. Do we really trust our families, our loved ones to love us enough to see us at our most vulnerable state? I think it is a matter of wanting to feel in control, and fearing loss of that control. Of course. I feel it too. But this is part of what we need to LEARN, while still breathing in this world — to fully and completely, totally trust another human being enough to have them take care of us, even when we can no longer take care of ourselves. Isn’t that what happens when people grow old? They become, once again, a child. They are more interested in playing and enjoying simple pleasures than worrying about this or that problem or event happening perhaps next week.
There is much more I could say and write, but I will close for now. I could talk about being with my mother the last 5 days of her life, or my brother for the last 3-4 days of his. I could talk about how the hospital told us we had to move our mother when she had less than 24 hours to live, and our refusal to do so, after which they found us a hospice space within the hospital. She was in no pain, they couldn’t do anything more “for” her so they wanted us to leave. I can’t imagine the horrific scene that would have been while she died in the process of trying to move her into a “rehabilitation center”. Thank God my brother had the common sense about him to look them straight in the eye and say, “Well, we’re not moving. So find us a room.”
We didn’t know at the time that she had less than a day to still be breathing. But we were starting to guess. They don’t confide in you, don’t tell you these things. And so, we were given that last night to be with her in her room, and she passed the next morning before we had a chance to eat breakfast.
So yes. We deserve to die with dignity. But I do not think taking one’s own life, or assisting others to do so, is what a physician should be about. My mother had a worsening heart condition. She could have decided herself that she was not going to get any better, and to end her own life sooner than it happened. But why do that?! She was very accepting in her later days. She accepted her condition, and spent time with her family as much as possible and just enjoyed her life at home. She prayed and studied her Bible as well. I feel happy for her to have this time. And she was there when her new little grandson came to visit from North Carolina and played in her living room, some of the last pictures I have of her smiling, with her oxygen tube in her nose in her own living room.
This is life! It is wonderful, it is great, and it lasts as long as it lasts. In each moment there is value, in each precious life.
Doctor Grandma 