Doctor Grandma

35 years ago I was in labor for my first child. At about 5:15pm, after 24 hours labor, she was born into a quiet, lightly lit room in early evening, and then her father gently laid her into a small tub of warm water we called “the Leboyer bath”. We named her Jasmine. It was a natural childbirth and the Leboyer method of labor and childbirth. The doctor believed in it and cooperated. We used only quiet, hushed voices so as not to shock or disturb the child’s entrance into this new world. The labor progressed sometimes slowly all day long, but I did not want any drugs administered. The now ever-present and common “epidural” was NOT common and not used except for extreme circumstances in 1977. I think women are quite capable of birthing without intervention. But it takes preparation, confidence, education, encouragement, and knowing your own body. I feel that today, young women are not educated, are once again complacent in the birthing process, and are taught to believe and accept intervention. It is usually not necessary. We are just led to believe it is needed. Half the time, people schedule their child’s birthday today. You cannot do that without intervention. Only in extreme circumstances is that needed or even wise. In any case, I support women’s choices as long as they are educated about all the possibilities first.

This daughter and all my other children are wonderful gifts, each one different and precious. And now today, 35 years later, I watch her 2 sons, ages 15 and 11, for 2 weeks, 5 states away from her. It was impossible to imagine this 35 years ago.

Today we hung out, went swimming. It was cooler than usual. We waited around for quite awhile before swimming while Leah & Jean took a nap with Naylah. Then I decided to go ahead with Caspian & Zakiah & we got in. I was afraid it was going to rain. The others came later, along with Nick, friend of Caspian. They called another friend & he showed up with his sister, so I had 5 kids in the pool I was responsible for. We only stayed an hour & 1/2, as it clouded over & the sun disappeared for hours. Clouds were barely moving in the sky. The pool had been freshly cleaned so it was COLDER than usual. Naylah floats with a floatee and loves being in the water.

Tonight, we made spaghetti & Mr. Zakiah, nearly age 6, lost a tooth in the front bottom right! It had been loose for weeks. Big moment. Leah & I picked out goggles and sugarless gum to come from the tooth fairy. We rented TOOTH FAIRY the movie, for $1.00 & watched it. Terribly made movie but it got better in the second half. The guys then watched the end of the Celtics game at home where they lost by 19 pts.

Today Caspian played w/ Nick & Brenden for the morning. They ride bikes on something they call the “BMX trail”. It is something kids have created where they ride a small bike over a dirt hill. Then I took them all including Raven to “The Avengers”. I bought one lrg. popcorn for EIGHT DOLLARS. EIGHT DOLLARS! That was after asking how much was the special of 2 cokes + 1 popcorn & it was $18.50. MY GOD, how do we allow these things??! They were upset I wouldn’t buy them all a coke. TOO BAD!

Came home & I needed to do some more preparation for Leah & Jean & family to come tonight (like plan some meals). So AL, after some sleep this aftn., took the boys to Mind Gravy (R&C) & left me home alone. We have gone through 6 gallons of milk in 9 days, it’s been AWHILE since that has happened! Bought more groceries. Planned spaghetti & a fish or chicken night. I like to cook when family comes, & eat together. It doesn’t really matter what, doesn’t have to be a complex, involved meal. Just hang out together. When you go out, you spend SO MUCH & you’re out with other people, you have to worry about how the kids are acting, etc. Here, we can just hang out, the boys can go outside, walk around the pond, fish, swim in the pool, no big deal.

Caspian has been reading a bit every night before going to sleep. He has read one dog story chapter book, & is now reading Wizard of Oz, a book from my dad’s collection, the few I managed to save.

Raven had a quiet day, would have stayed home w/ me tonight except for my husband not wanting to only take C. to the poetry night.

Am hoping a couple friends stop by to meet our daughter & family, & perhaps play a game of chess w/ Raven the next couple days. There is also a CHANCE I still have to appear for jury duty tomorrow or Fri. but probably not. I super super hope not.

Leah & Jean started out tonight, drove for an hour, engine light came on in their car, they went home, got in their other car, then started out AGAIN. They will get here about 2am. The boys & Naylah –cousins– haven’t seen one another for a year.

quick synopsis of our day:

Wonderful day, rained for 3/4 of it. I went in for jury duty just long enough to get to 3rd floor, report in, and get sent home. Hooray! Fine with me, I don’t like leaving the boys alone even though they have 2 phone #s they can call and neighbors all around (including cops on either side of us). On the way home I bought myself a new swim suit, which is light years improvement over the one I had, & bought a few other things on clearance. Also bought some nails.

Today I cleaned, getting ready for daughter & family to join us late Wed. night for a couple days. Straightened, cleaned bathrooms, cleaned microwave, coffee pot, washed down counter tops, washed clothes. Used nails to hang more pictures throughout the house! Something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. Caspian played a long time w/ neighbor kids which helped a lot.

Made Caspian take a shower, then took him + 3 friends for a late swim after it cleared off & the sun came out. It was cool but very relaxing. Sun started descending as we finished at 7pm. Came in, made some food, ate, AL got up, he played Raven their 3rd game of chess which AL won again, Caspian & I returned 2 movies to the library, & then I made banana bread which finished cooking at midnight! I am so happy I can sleep in tomorrow, as jurors were told we did not have to return Wed. I still may be called in Thurs. or Fri. though. Hope not.

Tonight I am way, way tired so just writing a bit to let parents know what their kids did today if they are anyone else are interested, & going to bed.

I was picked to serve as a juror today. Literally made it through all the hoops and was sitting in a room with 11 other jurors and one alternate. Had to leave Raven in charge of Caspian, had him come downstairs so he was right in the middle of everything on main floor & close to Caspian, who stayed on my computer all morning & was fine. AL is home by 1:15pm. To make a long story short, no problem, I gave him ph # of a neighbor who said she’d be home all morning in case of any needs or emergency, + they had AL’s phone #. So there I was sitting in a room with 11 jurors getting ready to go back into the courtroom, trying to figure out, “How the heck did I end up here?” Then we were called into the courtroom. I could feel the additional tension and angst from when we left it a half hour or so before. Then the judge announced that there were a number of complex “legal issues” that they had to take care of which may or may not be resolved that day, and we were excused to go home. And so it goes in the legal system.

I have to return tomorrow morning and go through the entire process again, from what I understand, so I may or may not be on a jury again. Meanwhile, our 2nd daughter & her family are due to come this Wed. night & I have had no time or energy to clean our house.

Took Caspian & his friend Nick to the pool from 5:30-7. Raven came along, they made up a game and threw soccer balls back & forth & just enjoyed the awesome sun and gorgeous weather. I sat poolside and just relaxed.

Picked chicken off the bone of one that had cooked a  whole day in the crock pot. For those of you who have never had this treat, there is no more moist, delicious chicken EVER ANYWHERE! Went to the store and got a chicken noodle soup mix, added it to the broth with another cup of water & a can of cream of chicken soup & we had a delicious soup for supper, with white rice from the rice cooker, which the boys like. Add peaches & pears for dessert. And they have leftovers for tomorrow.

Caspian spends hours on my laptop but we watch what he is playing. Mostly it is Small Worlds, a virtual world where you create houses, decorate them, and meet “virtual” friends who are really some real kids & they know each other in real life but meet in the game. Interesting. I have no idea how technology will eventually change relationships and interaction in the future.

He is also reading a chapter book I got him at the library, a story about a dog. If I tell him to go read & take away the laptop, then he reads at night.

Tomorrow I will see them before leaving again for jury selection because I am not due in until 9:45am.

A neighbor moved a woodpile next door tonight & uncovered a Cottonmouth Rattler poisonous snake & killed it! DANG. He also had to exterminate some black widow spiders underneath his porch deck he built! Sometimes things happen to remind us we really live out in the sticks. It is prudent to be cautious and aware.

Sunday. We had no plans for today until 6:00 this evening when we went together to our monthly devotional Baha’i Faith meeting, which is called a “feast”. However, it is a feast of the spirit, not of food. Bahai’s tend to make it both, however, & this one was a dinner. It was so nice to have the boys with us for our friends to meet them. Friends from our past could not imagine us without kids around us. At this feast, there were 6 young girls and one little boy age 5, plus our 2 grandsons. Our friends here never see our family because they now live in 4 different states, with us in a 5th. We raised our kids to be world citizens. They have somehow each traveled to foreign lands. Our 2nd daughter is married to a person born & raised in another country of the world. He is now a US citizen. This is an international, intercultural, interracial marriage. Our grandsons from Indiana are from our first daughter, from her 1st marriage.

We have four wonderful grandchildren & hope to have them all together later this week! Two from Indiana, two now from North Carolina. The other pair, a boy and a girl, are from our 2nd daughter in NC. What can one say about the connection to grandchildren? That is a post for another time.

Sunday afternoon was spent again at the pool for a little over an hour & 1/2. In the US, many people pay to go to a public pool. When you do that, you stay for the afternoon, for a length of time, because you won’t be able to swim again until you again pay money. Sad, isn’t it? But here, our neighborhood association manages a pool open to all in the complex. We do not pay to get in. So we tend to go whenever we want, stay for an hour, & leave. That is what we did yesterday.

Raven played AL their 2nd chess game of this vacation, last night. Grandpa again won. Grandpa wins everything, all the time, and never cuts anyone any slack. He is the man to beat in games. Raven beat him once, a few years ago.

Two festivals to go to today, with games for kids, music, films, all kinds of stuff going on. The only problem is, everyone slept in until now 11am. I woke up at 8:30, so I had 2 hours to myself. It will be a busy day. Maybe a late afternoon or evening swim later to relax. Such is my life in summer. 🙂

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Returned from the festivals, both of which had music, food, drink, vendors, poets, & the first one had films. Very nice relaxing day, beautiful weather. Took Caspian’s friend Nick with us so that was my gift. There was more to do at first one, 2nd was was a neighborhood gathering. Sheem got to sing one song, then they cut it short, unfortunately. Gospel choir took over. 🙂  Nick had a good time break dancing & Caspian was showing some acrobatics. Raven rode back w/ Grandpa in his truck.

Caspian spent 2 hrs. at Nick’s house, then went swimming w/ his whole family for another hour, came home at 9:30pm and ate supper . . . did Small Worlds for another hour, & is now creating foam puppets when I thought he was asleep. Raven & I watched Wedding Crashers, he went to friend Seth’s in the neighborhood for an hour + & AL & I watched a couple crime shows…….. our exciting LIFE!