Doctor Grandma

Here it comes again, that day

when I never knew what to buy,

because nothing was ever

the right gift,

no matter how I tried,

I stood in front of all the cards,

picked them up one by one,

set them down again,

because the verses were never us,

They never expressed my feelings,

never said it my own way,

and even now………

I just don’t know what to say.

I would be remiss

to not thank you

for the gift of life you gave,

but in the end,

I do believe

the debt was paid.

It’s not that I am bitter,

but I just cannot relate

to the teary-eyed messages

all over Facebook, on this day,

In the end,

I am happy,

for the times that were the best,

In the end,

I saw your strength,

and acceptance,

I have no regrets,

because life is what we make it,

but I tire of this day

and this tradition.

cfblack 05-09-2015

I embrace my mediocrity.

We can’t all be superhuman teachers

who fly around the room to get students’ attention,

have exciting assignments that move like a video,

and teach you nuclear physics.

I do the best I can

with creative power points,

a few interactive games,

and questions.

This is not Dead Poet’s Society.

I am not Robin Williams,

I will not stand on chairs,

reciting Shakespeare,

inspire you to write a masterpiece.

But I know my field,

challenge you to think outside the box,

and I give you my entire heart.

Put that in your student evaluation.

When I was five,

Joey chased me around the yard

with a worm in his hand, to scare me,

We played on the backyard swingset,

I did twirls on the monkey bars,

I was five

my brother 13,

my sister 2 and a half,

My brother took me out for Halloween,

and told me we were lost,

He was lying,

but I spent half the night being scared.

There are many things to be scared of.

Scared of shadows, of thunderstorms,

Scared of strangers, scared of the moon,

Scared of not being good enough,

or of trying something new,

What are you scared of?

What is out there?

Is there a monster in your closet?

Most of the time, our fears are imagined,

Most of the time, they come from within,

Most are forgotten images

come to haunt us now and then,

Courage is not a plateau to reach, or a mountain to be climbed,

Courage is going forward on faith

and trusting the answer you find.

cfblack 04-26-2015, for the 5th anniversary of my husband’s music/poetry venue, “MindGravy”

What shall we dream?

Shall we dream we are young,

ready to start it all over again,

We are teenagers walking

along the White river,

staying up all night,

playing cards with friends,

singing the night away

with Van Morrison,

then setting out

to watch the sun rise?

I step carefully now,

going down the stairs,

as knees cause discomfort

and might give way,

but I used to stretch backwards,

curving my spine,

until my hand met the floor beneath,

then rise straight up to the top again,

a smile upon my face,

Growing older

comes as a sweet surprise,

and you can’t quite imagine

breaking into a run,

but you have to embrace

all the beauty of life,

remember always to laugh

and have fun.

cfblack  04-25-2015

If I make it to 92,

I would want to be in my home,

Watching whatever I want on TV,

Making my own decisions,

Staying in bed if I feel like it,

And eating ice cream.

I would take the meds I need

In order to feel alive,

In order to go where I want to go,

Do what I want to do.

If I feel like painting, I will paint,

If I want to read, I will read,

Decorate my living room

With art that appeals to me.

This being said, I would also hope

That my heart remains always kind,

That I speak with love to family,

Be of service, somehow, to humanity,

I hope that I still play with children,

Taking time to see life as they do,

Be open to others around me,

Make time for friends when they call,

To not become bitter,

To not build walls,

And be willing to learn something new.

cfblack 04-13-15,

            inspired by my 92-yr-old father-in-law’s recent overnight stay in the hospital