Doctor Grandma

Let me say first that there are many very important things going on in the news that are not on this blog. I watch the news all the time, however, this blog is not dedicated to commenting on the most important things going on in the news, actually. It is simply a no-stress release valve for me, on which I sometimes say things connected to what’s on the news.

For example:

shooting of Congresswoman Gifford & murder of 6 other people,

how we treat the mentally disturbed such as Jared Loughner and the impossibility of committing people such as him today,

the complete breakdown in Egypt and yet the ability of Mubarak to retain his power,

the surging of populations against their various Middle Eastern governments & the ability of MOST of those govts. to retain their power,

there is a lot going on.

However, tonight I want to write something about culture. What is culture? It has been described as all those things you feel are important enough to pass on to the next generation. So we have things like traditions, rituals, family history, customs, language, holidays, religious beliefs, and beliefs about humanity & morality –those things we base our laws upon, such as principles like freedom, equality and democracy. All those things are cultural.

So this weekend, my husband was on a committee that hosted a Black film festival. Along with African films and documentaries, there was an interview w/ Bob Marley, and some films for children. There was also an African fashion show, and a wonderful teacher of African dance, in which I participated.

This will be brief, but I am taking this moment to try to express a few thoughts on culture.

We all have a cultural background. For whites in America, we have lost touch w/ it, for example Dutch traditions, or German traditions, the language, the foods, the holidays. If we go back far enough, there would be a native “dance”, there would be a style of music, and some type of drums or instruments. For example, the Irish drum, the Scottish bagpipes, etc.

I believe there somehow has to be a BLEND, a mixing of paint into some new color, to move toward the future. In other words, no we cannot return to African traditional religion, Indian traditional religion. It really doesn’t help us to try to go back to whatever religion our ancestors had, the way they worshipped, in some cases, such as smoking peyote. The soul food tradition came out of slavery, when slaves were fed the scraps. It’s a lot of fat & the parts of the meat that the heads of households were willing to throw away (chicken necks, chitlins, etc.).

Partly the reason people want to “go back to” is because it was “taken away from” by force. People were stopped from naturally evolving into something else. When something is forcibly taken from you, then you want to go back & get it. So part of what I’m saying about culture is, we all want to know our roots, and for some, those roots are a RETURNING TO what was, & we want to bring that back out and understand it, embrace it and celebrate it. But some of those things are best left in the past. For example, polygamy in African culture. There is NO WAY you can have polygamy, and say women are equal. They’re not. It is set up for the man’s enjoyment, and the man’s power over women, and the man’s convenience. How nice for him. Some things are best understood, respected, but then left behind. We have evolved since then!

Secondly, we truly ARE one people. We are ONE people. We are one PEOPLE. We are the human family, the human race. So IF we TRULY believe that, then it is possible for any person today, to appreciate, and relate to, the best of any cultural tradition of the past. For example, white people, some white people, can truly feel the drums, feel the music, and learn African or any other type of dance. It is possible. Some white people or black people can truly appreciate the reverence for the earth that is part of many Indian traditions, and they can cleanse their souls in a sweat lodge. IOW, you don’t have to be “1/2, 1/4, or 1/10th Indian” in order to FEEL the truth & the cleansing of those traditions.

So partly I think we all want to know where we come from and who our ancestors were. I really, really want to know when MY family came to America. And I don’t know if I will ever unravel that mystery– but probably somebody will, because more & more paper historical documents will be posted online as time goes on. It will actually be easier & easier to trace your roots in the future. The task now is to find any living relatives who may have personal pictures, knowledge or stories.

But on the other hand, we have to somehow open the WINDOW or DOOR to allow people of any cultural background to come in and smell the flowers and the good food from our own cultural backgrounds. And there is still a lot of resistance to doing that today. The Black film festival was meticulously organized, and poorly advertised. Especially to people not of African heritage. How are you going to encourage appreciation of your culture among people of various backgrounds if you only publicize it to black folk, and only share it w/ the few who happen to be within your own social circle? Al & I were “the white folk” for the most part, which is fine, been there, done that before. But there just weren’t many people there in general. And I don’t think the Columbia community was even aware of it. Which is a shame, to me. I went to a sociology conference last year. Turns out, it was a historically Black sociology group. I was the only white person there. In my older age, I’ve done this so many times now that I’m just tired of it. My longing is to be within a mixed crowd. The flower garden is prettier when there are many colors represented. I don’t relish being somewhere, where people look at me wondering what I’m trying to prove, what I want out of being there. I did not really feel this at the film festival, but have felt it so many ways at other all-black gatherings, I’m just not interested anymore. I think that any group today that focuses totally inward & blocks other people out, is out of touch w/ the needs of the world. It is good to know one’s heritage, to respect it, embrace it, teach it to future generations. But we also need something more. Groups totally focused on their own are destined to not progress, and to die out. Are we really one human race, or not.  

In any case, these are my brief thoughts on culture tonight.

🙂  Interesting title.

If you decide to buy cards for people when they are going through something– good or bad– you will buy a lot of cards. It’s amazing how many things come up, between weddings & showers, graduations, birthdays, and then sickness, difficulties, and of course, loss of a loved one. Makes you realize people are going through things all the time.

The other part to the title is something I’d just like to state. I still love spraying my mom’s perfumes, which I accumulated after her death 3 1/2 years ago. She collected them, like she collected many things, and I was never allowed to touch them. She had many possessions she never used or touched.

I have always loved smells. Fragrances. They are memorable to me. So I now have an assortment that used to sit on her bathroom shelf, now on my bathroom shelf, of all sorts of fragrances. Some of them are so old, they really have an oldness to the smell as well. But I still enjoy them. It’s one of life’s little delights, to me.

My computer clock says 1:17am. I just finished grading the last of about 65 short papers. Students’ grades are finally posted. Everything is done online. With the option of turning it in online or in class, perhaps 7-8 students out of 30-35 turn it in, in class. The rest are online. Their grades with my comments are sent back to them online. Not e-mail, but a special program.

Something happens in the air at 1:17am. The house is totally quiet. No tv is blaring, no phone calls are coming in, no one is talking. It is almost as if a spiritual atmosphere enfolds the place. We feel like we can talk and the world will hear, but we are actually, truly alone.

I feel somewhat sad tonight. I am sad that I cannot see my grandsons 4 states away. This is the longest break yet. It will last 2 more months, for a total of 4 before I see them and hug them again. It is not really enough to maintain contact. Visits are good but they are too brief to really feel close and intimate with them. But, what can we do? We now live here and will stay here. We just have to do our best. My 9-yr-old who I chatted with on facebook tonight, told me he is “too old” to go Halloweening this year!! I said RUBBISH!! Become a pirate and go out and have some fun, get some o’ that LOOT, matey!! Ahoy! He had none of it. I said “CANDY” and he said, “BE QUIET”. So that is the state of the world.

I am sad tonight that I have a family member who will not speak to me and acts as if I am the devil from hell. I can’t say who it is because she or he will then get irritated. That makes me sad tonight. We only have a certain short number of years in this world.

I am EXTREMELY happy that tomorrow is payday.

Somehow, by some miracle of sorts, I will review tests in both Stratification and Social Theory tomorrow, as well as address Max Weber’s “class, status and party”. And I will do a children’s virtues class from 4 to 4:45, which is not yet fully planned. Should be interesting.

I really, really want to sleep in tomorrow but I can’t. So I’d best hit the sack, on which my husband is already snoring.

Made a trip to ER with our adult son last night. Infection, needed antibiotics, he will be okay. Went to a Baptist hospital in downtown Columbia. Some observations:

They had a parking garage for people using the ER. There were 4-5 police officers standing around the entrance and exit at all times. What the heck are they looking for? How many people are going to “sneak in” to the hospital ER parking garage at around midnight on a Tues. night??

Walking inside, first thing I see is a young man trying to sleep in a chair, with a hospital blanket thrown over him. He partially opened his eyes and look at me when I walked in. I was the only white person in there except for yet another police officer at the information desk. My son & husband were already there when I got there. I went to registration, asked about him, got sent to ER, who then directed me to ANOTHER area where I was to follow the “blue wall” to a door and open it. They were inside. He was awaiting results of a test. Another lady came and took him from THAT room in a few mins. We didn’t go along, as he is an adult. The lady said nothing to us. I felt something was wrong but my husband was determined to just sit there and wait.

During the waiting time, I observed other people in the waiting room. Each one was suffering in their own way. None of them wanted to be in ER late at night on a weekday, so I started thinking about why they were there. A father and son sat in 2 chairs, the boy with an ice pack on his wrist. He had fallen at a high school football game, had just had an x-ray. His father was very supportive and proud of this young man, & said his son had been to the hospital in the past year, more than he had in his whole life. I think he was slightly frustrated.

Another woman was alone & just sat in a chair until her name was called. Maybe she had the flu?

Another pretty young woman had evidently injured her mouth. She sat in a chair with a small towel held to her mouth. I did not see any blood. A man sat across from her until she moved to be closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder. She was hurting. She couldn’t speak.

They gradually cleared all the people out, then a woman asked us who we were with. Turns out, our son had been taken BACK to the regular ER room. We went back there & found him just about ready to leave.

Hospitals always give me the creeps. People suffering, people hurting, sick people, cold air, nurses changing shifts. Especially at night they give me the creeps.

When we left, I got in my car alone, they got in the truck to go get his meds, I left the garage and got COMPLETELY and totally lost in downtown Columbia. This was not cool, as it was already midnight. So I drove around and gradually followed my intuition, to get headed back toward downtown and the highway home. It was a little hairy there for a few mins. There is a Bank of America about a mile high which stands out like a lighthouse. I figured I would find it eventually if I headed toward busy streets and well-lit areas. I did.