Doctor Grandma

I just want to record this for family history.

I rec’d my Bachelor of Arts in 1997, with a 3.42 GPA. That was with failing one class, the semester before I got married. I never know what to say when they say on those applications, when did you start and finish this degree? I started in Fall 1971 and finished in May 1997.

Rec’d my Masters in Dec.2000 on a terrible Winter’s day. My husband came on crutches, and our youngest son. Everyone else must have been out of town or something. I don’t know why no one else came. I had a 4.0 GPA.

My PhD ceremony was December 2008, after I secured my first full time teaching job in South Carolina. That Fall I started the job, came back and defended my dissertation, and graduated in December on the coldest freaking day of the year. It was some degrees below zero. My kids all came and my husband sat out, because I only got 4 tickets for family. They were screaming while walking in between buildings on the way from the parking garage to the auditorium, due to the temp. I had a 3.95 GPA.

All my degrees were sociology, but the Bachelors was a “Bachelor of Arts” with a minor in Women’s Studies, the Masters was a
“Master of Science” (Social science I guess), and the PhD was a “Doctor of Philosophy”.

I want to talk about money again.

Thinking a lot about this right now. Life in America. It is getting harder, and it’s going to get worse before it gets better. People live to pay their bills. Older people chastise the young and tell them they scrimped and saved through their life, and managed their money better than the young do now. But it’s harder now. It is next to impossible to make it on one income, young adults are moving back in w/ their parents and relatives and friends are living together to be able to make it. Jobs don’t last a lifetime and benefit packages are diminishing. Insurance costs more & pays less of the bills. As you get older, you can’t avoid medical bills.

My husband and I recently celebrated 43 yrs. of marriage. We got married as teenagers. We seem to have done exceptionally bad at this money game. Just now, in our early 60s, we are managing to save and pay off debt. But how long can this last? One thing I’ve learned in life, there is nothing permanent and you can count on change.

We have worked all our married life, and lived through many crises. My husband has attained and lost many positions, many lost due to economic trends and not his own faults. For example, downsizing of middle management positions in the 80s. Moving to South Carolina where there is a lack of industry and being denied jobs due to being a northerner, and told as much. Then losing a job due to changes in the company and their doing away with remote, online positions. It has been a struggle.

Additionally, we had 4 children and I stayed home during that time. There is no way anyone else was going to see my kids through their first few years. I stayed home with them. Friends chastised us for having 4 kids while living in poverty. Well, that’s life. We chose it, and we were happy as well.

But now, at this age, when life is all of a sudden slowing down and the end seems nearer than it appears… it makes you realize, time is not eternally given, and we are running out of time. How much can we accomplish in another 20 years?

My goal has been for some time, to get out of debt. I now earn more than I ever have in my life, and more than twice what I earned when I left Purdue Libraries. This is now a race to the finish. And if either of us gets sick anytime soon, the end will not be pretty. I really hope that we are given enough time to pay off most of our debt and leave this world not owing people. All of this takes a great deal of patient perseverance, determination, prayer and detachment. It also allows us no luxuries. Is it right to have to deny oneself any & all luxuries at this age, when we have put in our time for many long years, at many different jobs? I don’t know but that is where we are.

I think it is hard for the world to realize, Americans are struggling like everyone else. Those at the top with a lot of money are the very few. They are more and more out of touch with what most of the rest of the world are experiencing and feeling. We are the 99 percent. My husband and I have reached somewhat of a plateau, where we are not struggling quite as much just to keep the bank balance above 0. Yet, that is a recent occurrence, and we now struggle to pay off our debt while not incurring any more.

Something like 2.5 BILLION people in the world struggle to have a good supply of clean water every day. There are 7 billion on the planet. It is hard to fathom just how much inequality there still is in this “global world”.

Baha’u’llah said, “Tell the rich of the midnight sighing of the poor. The poor on earth are my trust, Guard ye my trust.”

and

O Son of Spirit!

The best beloved of all things in My sight is justice. Turn not away therefrom if thou desirest Me, and neglect it not that I may confide in thee. By its aid thou shalt see with thine own eyes, and not the eyes of others, and shalt know of thine own knowledge and not through the knowledge of thy neighbor. Ponder this in thine heart, how it behoveth thee to be.

Verily justice is My gift to thee, and a sign of My loving-kindness. Set it then before thine eyes.

— Baha’u’llah, The Hidden Words.

The Bahai’s in the South have their own songs. Most of them come out of gospel and church backgrounds. Here is one I want to remember:

Baha’u’llah, I am your child,

and I know, You came for me,

I’m down here working in the vineyard

we are working for Unity,

O my Lord, I believe,

I know my Jesus, He died for me,

and with the coming of Baha’u’llah

all mankind will be set free.

Today, after reading a couple chapters of a book on money management given to me by my oldest daughter, I decided to do the right thing and open a free, online savings account. For a few years I have thought about opening an Orange ingdirect account. Spent some time looking at their website. It seemed to have good sound advice on money management, life insurance and other things, and it also appealed to me because it’s run by the Dutch. I am 100% Dutch from my mother’s side. But I had a little trouble finding a place to open a simple savings account.

Ingdirect is known for allowing people to open a savings account with any amount and allowing you to deposit any amount, all free. Being depressed after working on our budget, I decided, “Okay, I’ll just start with the $12.00 in coins it has taken me weeks to save up.” I can put the 12.00 in the bank tomorrow and start depositing $10.00 a paycheck that won’t be missed. I’ll forget about it, it will build up like magic and all will be well.

My husband and I have done well through many difficult times to be where we are. Raised 4 kids, all got a college degree and are happy and healthy, contributing adults living on their own. In fact, all are now married. This is a life accomplishment few enjoy. We have always managed to survive through difficult times. Sometimes there were job losses due to the 1980s recession, and middle management jobs disappearing, all at a time when I refused to work because I was going to be w/ my kids through their first years as a stay-at-home mom. Other times, political back lashes hit us and cost my husband his job due to our involvement in social justice issues in our community. The viciousness of people knows no bounds. This is one thing we learned. You can do the right thing and people will stop at nothing to attack you for it. Lastly, we moved to South Carolina, after I pursued a PhD and got it, then landed a job in the south. South Carolina has not been kind to us, for jobs. My husband was unemployed twice, both times for 10 months, neither time through any fault of his own. We’ve been told we don’t belong here, called damn yankees, denied tenure, and denied jobs, just for not having a southern accent or a conservative political bent. However, we have also met and gotten to know some of our dearest and closest friends here, and we never tire of the South Carolina sun, palm trees, being near the ocean, and never having to fight ice and snow.

All that being said, we have not built up our savings and nest egg for inevitable old age like we could have, and probably should have. Hence my New Year’s decision to open a savings account.

Turns out, Ingdirect is only open in Australia and perhaps Amsterdam. I didn’t really research it fully, but those are the only webpages I saw. Ingdirect, at least in America, has been taken over by Capital 365. I decided to go ahead and open a Capital 365 account. Sounded similar, a free savings account that you can start and put any amount into on a regular basis.

Well it wasn’t so easy. At some point in the application, Capital 360 realized I was the holder of a CapitalOne credit card. It wanted to tie the 2 accounts together. Okay, fine. Done. But then it discovered my husband also had one of their cards. I, however, could not remember the correct login and password for his account, though I tried my best. Calling them on the phone did not help. My name was not my husband’s. Some nice person told me I could do it online, since it became obvious I could access his e-mail account from his laptop. This did not work either. At some point, after talking on phone calls where I waited forever, and also attempting to do it online, I decided to make it my own single account and leave him off of it. At least I could get the dang thing up and running.

Didn’t happen. Couldn’t figure out a way to go back and CLOSE the ORIGINAL account I had set up as “double”. At the end of the day I had two different Capital 360 savings accounts, both set up to withdraw my 12.00 in coins from our current bank account on Monday, with no way to access the double one, and no way to close it; additionally, the single one needs to confirm who I am by depositing some amount of change they decide and having me report it back to them, before it can set up automatic future withdrawals. Today being Friday, none of this will get resolved until Monday.

Calling Capital One resulted in their telling me, since I set up 2 accounts, we cannot delete either one until the 12.00 is deposited into each one, finalizing the account. Then I can call back (I can’t wait), transfer money from one account to the other and close one of the accounts.

Tonight we went out to buy lottery tickets to solve our money problems. And it’s raining.

So much has happened in this past year, Jan.2014 feels like a century ago. Here are some of the highlights in no particular order:

• At least 3 young black men were needlessly killed by law enforcement, which should be a shame for the nation, yet people rally on both sides, both convinced only their way is right. Each side in denial, we learn nothing. Remembering Michael Brown, Eric Gardner, and Tamir Rice, in the footsteps of Trayvon Martin and Emmet Till…
• Airplanes started dropping out of the sky near Indonesia and disappearing without a trace. Seems like this most recent one has been found.
• I completed 6 exemplary years at a 4-yr-institution, at the end of which 2 of my own students won 1st and 2nd place at a statewide research competition, and then was denied tenure for reasons I will never be told and never understand.
• That same summer I applied and secured a new position with a promotion to Associate Professor, and a raise of some magnitude. Sometimes when He closes a window, He opens a door.
• My grandchildren turned 18, 13, 8, 4 and 1; step-grands turned 13, 8, 4 and 2 I believe. I can’t keep track of my kids’ ages. 🙂
• My husband and I turned 63 and 61. I started medication for stiff joints, my husband is having trouble walking. 🙂
• We both have decent jobs.
• I did a neighborhood summer children’s class in a very low-income, low education-level neighborhood (in which I live with a PhD), for 40-50 children. We learned virtues and cultures of the world, read books out loud, acted out “The boy who cried Wolf,” played games and made soap.
• I started animating a junior youth class for 11-14 yr-olds with 6 current members.
• My husband published his first book of poetry and had 150 in attendance of the opening. His weekly poetry/music venue continues for the 4th straight year and is well attended.
• Had 13-yr-old grandson here for 2 weeks in the summer, during which time he interacted with my children’s class, got into a fight and was offered drugs in the neighborhood. (We have to move.)
• Naylah, the 4-yr-old learned to read. Zakiah, the 8-yr-old tested at 6th grade reading level.
• We moved in Feb. to a low-income predominantly African American neighborhood. Since I teach at an HBCU I am literally with black and brown people all day long, at work and at home. 🙂
• Our friend The Dubber played at NB College. This was a true highlight!
• My youngest grandson turned one, learned to walk and learned to talk.
• Joe Cocker is no longer with us.
• AL and I lived without television this entire year. I miss the news! I listen to NPR but miss the visual. I also miss First 48, National Geographic, and Discovery Health channel. I heard not one blatantly repugnant political ad.
• I taught criminal justice at a rural SC HBCU during the Ferguson tragedy.
• Barbaric, violent groups took over parts of the Middle East and publicly beheaded numerous people, including some Americans. I find this terrifying and disgusting. They have turned their backs to education, progress, peacefulness, cooperation and consultation.
• Despite denying her citizenry free money for education from the Federal government in a state that is known for one of the worst educational systems in the United States, Nikki Haley was re-elected. People are stupid.
• President Obama moved forward on health care, many issues for women, and enacted his own form of LONG OVERDUE immigration legislation because our Congressional representatives can’t get their heads out of their ______ and pass something they know is needed.
• Our unemployment rates are back down to nearly what they were before the 2008 recession.
• We lived another year without having to clear ice and snow off our cars (except for one fluke storm last Feb.) or let our cars heat up 10 minutes before getting in them to go somewhere.
• Our youngest child got married!
• Family vacation in Michigan last June, on a lake. My husband ruptured 2 discs in his back by falling into a canoe.
• Family get together at AL’s parents last week, all but daughter & son in law from North Carolina and AL’s sister in FL. Spent the week at AL’s parents. May be the last time to sleep there a whole week. My neck is still recovering.
• My publication on “Code of the Street” in an encyclopedia on criminal justice was published.
• A former professor and friend who influenced me greatly in sociology passed away months ago. I discovered his obituary on the Internet by accident.
• I got back in touch w/ a friend from grad school.
• Both our vehicles broke down on the same night after which it took a full 4 months to get them both running well again.
• I made a deal with the devil (meaning, Mohela who owns our parent loans), so they won’t go into default and totally ruin our credit rating.
• Paid off Pennys credit card, Disney movies account, one small loan and one medical bill. Paid down on others.

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,100 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 18 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

My middle name

I used to hate my middle name

Until I learned its meaning,

It came from my Grandma Mary,

The one who washed my mouth out with soap,

The one who taught us not to swear,

The one who was always there,

The name sounded “old” like her,

On TV, it was also a Mule,

The name was so very NOT cool,

I kept it hidden away,

Not claiming it as a part of me,

Until I learned that it meant:

to be free,

And then, this name appealed to me,

My first name of Carol has the meaning of Song,

Music – Melody – Verses and words

That lift the spirit, like the song of a bird,

Song of Freedom is not a bad name,

Not a bad name at all.

cfblack                  12-17-2014

There is so much to say, I cannot really say anything. I stare at my plastic-stacked-drawers of trinkets, stickers, pencils and markers, units marked “Unity” “Oneness” ” Love” “Service” — from doing children’s classes this summer, and it seems like a lifetime ago.

My office room now contains a laptop from my new school. There are criminology books strewn around the room, a full notebook of materials from every class. Still wondering how I will ever catch up before the semester ends. Finals Week exactly 4 weeks away, and a holiday in between now and then.

I think about each student and now know them all by name. I have learned them all. I still do not know a thing about what some of them really think. What do they think about? What are their worries? What do they spend their time on away from class? Do they look forward to being at home for Thanksgiving? Do they have a goal? What do they expect in their future?

They are all beginning to worry about their grades and want to keep them as high as possible. But will they study? Will they take that book out of reserve at the library and look through the chapters? It’s anyone’s guess.

My ever present hope is that each one of them will attempt their best. Time to run that sprint to the finish line — all the way in! How much steam do you have left in reserve?

And then a blessed month off.