Archive for the ‘grandchildren’ Category

June 2nd!

June 2, 2012

Two festivals to go to today, with games for kids, music, films, all kinds of stuff going on. The only problem is, everyone slept in until now 11am. I woke up at 8:30, so I had 2 hours to myself. It will be a busy day. Maybe a late afternoon or evening swim later to relax. Such is my life in summer. 🙂

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Returned from the festivals, both of which had music, food, drink, vendors, poets, & the first one had films. Very nice relaxing day, beautiful weather. Took Caspian’s friend Nick with us so that was my gift. There was more to do at first one, 2nd was was a neighborhood gathering. Sheem got to sing one song, then they cut it short, unfortunately. Gospel choir took over. 🙂  Nick had a good time break dancing & Caspian was showing some acrobatics. Raven rode back w/ Grandpa in his truck.

Caspian spent 2 hrs. at Nick’s house, then went swimming w/ his whole family for another hour, came home at 9:30pm and ate supper . . . did Small Worlds for another hour, & is now creating foam puppets when I thought he was asleep. Raven & I watched Wedding Crashers, he went to friend Seth’s in the neighborhood for an hour + & AL & I watched a couple crime shows…….. our exciting LIFE!

It’s June!

June 2, 2012

WOW, it’s June. I can’t believe it. Today I took the boys to the SC Statehouse where we enjoyed the luscious grounds chock full of centuries-old trees that flow down and go on forever and ever, and magnolia trees. The grass is gorgeously long and it is one of the most peaceful spots I know. Went inside where they saw where the state legislature meets; the plaque dedicated to the 4 signers of the original US Constitution, and another plaque dedicated to when they seceded from the Union with numerous signatures at the bottom. Let’s face it, this state is confused about their identity. There’s the US flag & the SC flag flying on top, and due to political pressure, the Confederate flag flying separately out in front of the building, dead center. Always amazes me. Makes me laugh, actually. Being from the North, that is one thing I will never understand. As Raven said, “If they want to show southern pride, why don’t they just fly the South Carolina flag?” R. refused to have his picture taken with the Confederate flag. It is hard to explain, but up north, we just don’t think about the Civil War every day, and it is understood in our core being, that the Confederate flag = slavery. Down here, it’s in your face 24/7 and we’re supposed to believe the flag means “Southern pride”. Except to Black folk, who don’t speak up about it either. There is this new monument to Black history outside the statehouse, which is pretty darn amazing. 

Then we met AL after he got off work & had lunch at Cafe Streudel, one of our favorite places. AL Raven & I had the famous Hangover Hashbrowns with sweet peppers, tomato, onion & cheese. Caspian got bacon & egg. Then we went for a streudel fried on the grill or a baklava. This cafe has art on the wall for purchase, 4 flavors of coffee on tap, & a unique atmosphere.

This afternoon we napped, watched tv, Raven went out w/2 friends for awhile, and Caspian & I had a 5:30-6:45 swim. Awesome neighborhood, I must say. I live in luxury heaven & still can’t get over it. The day was absolute perfect weather, not too hot but mostly sunny, hit close to 90, breeze included. Usually clouds up with a short shower in late afternoon, which is actually why Caspian & I left the swim. We heard thunder.

AL slept, then we all had spaghetti & watched “Batteries Not Included” which I rented free from the library, after which Caspian, at 11:30pm, took a shower, using a bar of soap we made yesterday. It was bright red, colored with red food coloring and he wanted to see if it turned his skin red. It did briefly, then washed right off. 🙂

A new gander SWAN, grey and white, has adopted our pond, floats around all day & squawks for a mate to come join him, so far to no avail.

Since the boys have been here, I abandoned my 3-mi. walk which I dearly need to restart. Today I managed to do my exercises. Boy do I need to keep it up.

AL is outside sitting on the back porch, telling Raven the stories of his life and all his best advice.

      

Last day in May

May 31, 2012

Thurs. May 31st, I am actually in the public library writing this because I came to print a copy of our coupon to the baseball game tonight. Columbia BLOWFISH here were come. I hope it doesn’t cloud up. The weather has been awesome.

We have spent another day around the house, both boys seeing their friends, Caspian going swimming w/ Nick & his mom and brother. All things going well, I hope they are not too bored, especially Raven. They seem to be okay. I forgot to say I took the boys to my college yesterday, as they finally pd me back some money for going to a conference & “the check was in”! We first met w/ the wrestling coach which Raven thought was a really cool thing. He was very nice & gave each of the boys a Newberry College t-shirt. Raven actually said he could see the advantages of a small college. Everybody knows everybody! We then picked up a book on Black family history we had ordered from another library, AND — then went to Hardees. I felt so bloated after eating there, I did not feel good all evening, and I had a TURKEY BURGER. It is just gross food.

The evening was spent at the Columbia Blowfish stadium. NOT as good a stadium as for the Indy team or the game we saw at the Smoky Mtns. last year. All in all, it was a good time. Caspian spent 1/2 the game texting friends back in Lafayette, or ME from when we let him go to the upper seats where a bunch of other kids were stationed. One ball came right at him & dropped a row in front of him, where another kid got it. He was so bummed. I knew he was upset so I went & talked with him. First thing he said was, “That was my ball.” But he actually got over it. We got the typical hot dog & coke & saw a couple home runs. It’s a good time family thing to do & it cost us 10 bucks to get in. Caspian got to run the bases with all the kids after the game was over.

Tuesday, the day of nothing

May 30, 2012

This was our day of nothings. We basically did “nothing”, we just hung around the neighborhood all day. It rained off & on, moreso later in the day. The frogs are clicking loudly, very loudly, outside right now. They are happy with all the rainfall.

This morning C. had a moody breakdown where he was refusing to take a shower. Last night we made a “deal” where he agreed to take one this morning. This morning, we agreed he would do nothing with friends until he took one. His friends came to the door & he wanted to be on the computer, so he let them go. They came back later, he still hadn’t taken one, & he started complaining loudly, “What difference does it make, when we’re gonna play in the woods anyway and get dirty?” I noticed he slept in late (to 9:45) and then fell asleep again in front of the tv. He was VERY tired today. Might be a lack of having 1 medication, might be the drive here + swimming the past 2 days. A lot of changes & getting used to a new household, plus missing his parents. In any case, he still had to take a shower before going out, which he finally did. I am 99% sure I heard him on the phone with his mom & her voice calmed him down & convinced him to take the necessary shower. Going out at about 4pm, he found that his buddy was grounded & couldn’t play.

We then took a late afternoon swim, in the midst of a very light sprinkling of rain. About an hour at the most & he was done. A couple older boys we know in the neighborhood come around calling for R. now also. They walk the neighborhood and talk, go swimming in the pool, then separate.

I went out to the local library, getting a couple movies and books C. can read when he is upstairs on the couch. Our other big accomplishment was sending their mom a b-day card — mission accomplished!

When Grandpa came home from work, we had some pizza and corn on the cob. Later tonight, we made strawberry pancakes. They have eaten a package of baby carrots and a bag of apples in one day. We took a late walk around the neighborhood where C. showed me where his other buddy lives, then I walked further around the pond — with an umbrella. The pond was alive with loud frog singing which I still hear tonight, through the thin walls & loose-fitting doors of our house.

C. spent hours on my computer, playing “Small Worlds”. One life lesson today is that he got royally ripped off, when some stranger made a “deal” with him. C. gave away 2000 game points and gained access to an e-mail account that supposedly held riches, but turned out to be a banned e-mail account. He lost all his wealth in the deal. He felt truly cheated. I had him report the abuser to the game, but so far, he is not banned from the game.

Grandpa got back up to eat pancakes with us, we watched some comedy channel, one crime show, Jon Stewart & Colbert. He is now back in bed & gets up in less than 3 hours to go to work again.

Plans for tomorrow include a possible trip to my campus to pick up a book I ordered on Black family history at my college library; and for R. to meet the wrestling coach.

May 28 Memorial Day

May 29, 2012

I write this the morning of the 29th, while the boys still sleep at 9:45am! It appears God gave me a little break this morning. 🙂  They were worn out after swimming 2-3X yesterday, the last time from 10pm – 10:40. No one under 21 allowed in the pool after 11pm.

This day was spent mostly around the neighborhood. Caspian & I drove the 25 mi. or so to ALDI’s, only to find they were closed. I ended up going to BI-LO and spending $104., which at ALDIs would have been $75.-80. Caspian then played w/ 2 of his buddies a lot of the afternoon. I took them to the pool for about an hour & 1/2. Raven can go alone. The rules are: Kids at least 14 do not need supervision, but you have to be 18 to supervise a younger child in the pool. So I have to go whenever Caspian is at the pool.

Caspian & his friends walked through the woods near the pond & a tick fell off one of them when they came into the house. (I hate ticks!) We then checked them over & found no more. His friends have 1-2 more days of school this week, then they are done.

AL SLEPT all afternoon & in the evening as well. He has to work tomorrow 4am to 4pm, for some special training.

We don’t have a grill, so for Memorial Day we made our own “bacon burgers” and hot dogs inside the house. Also fresh corn on the cob, peaches, & pineapple. We unfroze the last 1/2 of Grandpa’s birthday cake for dessert. AL took Raven & bought him a swim suit at Walmart & they got a discounted SONIC shake in the evening. When they ret’d, the boys got in the pool for their “night swim”.

2 weeks with grandkids

May 28, 2012

These posts will not be interesting to anyone but the family. But a blog is a place to put thoughts, ideas, and accounts, in one place, easy to find later.

We were re-united with our 2 grandsons in Indiana this past Saturday and drove them to South Carolina to be with us for 2 weeks. This will be an account of their time with us, thinking back on each day.

Saturday was spent driving 11-12 hours back down to the south. We live in a rural state. The closest Starbucks is 25 minutes from our home. Our town has a Hardees (southern staple), a pizza parlor and an ice cream parlor. We have 2 grocery stores and a Dollar General. Everything else is 25-45 minutes away. We have a pond behind our home with its own eco-system and active pond life. Though banked by houses all along one side of it, the variety of critters that make up life attached to the pond is pretty incredible. Right now it is frogs making noises at night, but they are not all over the sidewalk like they were a couple weeks ago, coming down to find a mate. Now there are strings of tadpoles all along the banks, turtles poking their heads out of the water, and dragonflies buzzing around, perhaps eating mosquitoes which never bother us here.

Kids roam the neighborhood fishing and gathering in groups to talk, hang out, swim in the neighborhood pool, play football or rugby.

Yesterday was our first full day in South Carolina with the boys. We hung out at home in the morning, walked around the pond and took our first swim in the pool, which at 10:30am was not crowded. Reportedly, Tropical Storm BERYL is about to hit the coast, bringing us rain. Clouds came and went all day long, alternating with the sun. Highs reached to the 90s.

Caspian was reunited with his friend here and they hung out long enough to break off a KEY in his friend’s house front door and get it stuck in there. The father had to take the lock apart and get it out later.

We then went to RYAN’S for a late 2:30pm lunch, thinking it would not be crowded but finding that it was. The Ryans of their home town has closed, so this was a treat. We saw one good friend at the restaurant. We find that we don’t enjoy gorging ourselves with food enough to go to places like that anymore. I filled up on salad & greens, some okra, some mac & cheese, 2 pieces of fish and one small steak, with a slice of key lime pie for desert. Raven had mostly steak + bread. Caspian had some kind of meat & mashed potatoes. We just watched them for this first day. They both had some desert. Grandparents don’t fight a lot with kids to “eat one bite of green beans” or things of that nature. We’re into peace & happiness. But we will definitely be eating at home and providing good food & snacks for most of this 2 weeks! We can’t afford to eat out like this, anyway.

We then spent some time by the river walk along the Congaree river. Caspian had a good time WADING near the bank with another boy who was there for the day with his mom. Caspian was one year older than he was. They found many salamanders and parts of a crawfish. Caspian later put the crawfish claw in his brother’s hand as a surprise. The Congaree is very wide, and full of rocks. Toward dusk we saw some bats flitting above us. There is a TUBING and rafting business that takes people up river for a 2-3 hour float down to where we were and they get out. We enjoyed watching them come in. The boys may do the tubing float when our other daughter & her husband get here next week.

We then left there for a natural foods store & had smoothies or a natural orange juice, where a machine takes oranges and squeezes the juice out of them, mixing the juice with some water, for a delicious drink. After the hot afternoon outside, we were ready for it.

After that it was time to hit the Art Gallery for a poetry and music program, where the boys heard their grandpa read  poems, along with many friends. They enjoyed some of the performance artists and looking at all the paintings inside the art gallery. Grandma was nervous because of the price tags running anywhere from $900. to $3300. for items in the place! This brings up the question:

What price for ART?? Who decides that ART, the putting of paint to canvas, is something only RICH FOLK can enjoy?? Who decides that? IF I COULD PAINT, which unfortunately I cannot, I would once a month at least, GIVE AWAY as gorgeous piece of art to someone who cannot afford an original piece. Why not? You could even give it to a community center, or find some way to let the community enjoy it. If it gets destroyed, oh well. It still needs to go out there. Who can afford a $2000. painting for their own home? Really, who can afford such a thing? The beauty of the pieces was wonderful. I especially enjoyed a couple pieces with gorgeous, deep red poppies in a field of yellow, and sky. There were people on beaches, all sorts of art for some mysterious rich person’s walls. One gorgeous piece of birch trees and autumn leaves of red, orange and yellow, the paint in thick splotches all over it, had a price tag of something like $2500. To view it, you actually had to stand 20-30 feet away from it. I just thought, “Really. Who is going to walk in here and buy this for their living room wall or study?” I really cannot imagine such wealth. There was a unique table maybe 3′ by 2′ across, held up by a sculpted male figure underneath – pricetag, over $1600. Most people are struggling to pay their light bill, let alone contemplate where such a table could sit within their home.

We left there after 9pm, getting home around 10:30. Everyone was tired. Raven went straight to bed, as did my husband. Caspian & I stayed up for maybe 40 mins. more, listening to frogs loudly clicking and making noise on the pond, then all were asleep.

joyous news, such love

November 8, 2011

Today my son and daughter-in-law put aside their fears of miscarriage. Baby is 10+ weeks and developing perfectly normally. Such joy, such love, such a tiny little one, who has no idea how much she is already loved and cherished.

I feel it is a girl. For all mine & all my grandkids so far, I’ve always been right, even before ultrasound days, & with my daughter who never wants to know until the birth. Usually I never guess this early, but this one has ALWAYS been girl. If it changes, then it changes. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong, it doesn’t matter. But this one is STRONG GIRL. That’s just how I feel.

hi Mommy hi Daddy

this precious life

October 14, 2011

Recently, 2 things happened that made me once again realize the absolute preciousness of life. Every single life. First, we found out grandchild no.5 is on the way. How precious is that?? We are so excited! They had 2 ultrasounds and 3-4 blood tests for the doctors to tell them: normal baby developing as it should. Just smaller, younger than you thought it was! And so, we have a picture of this little one, this precious life. Welcome to the family, may you grow and grow and grow, can’t wait to see you!

isn’t life WONDERFUL??

 

 

 

baby grandchild

 

 

Now I am not a “right-to-lifer”. I find abortion absolutely appalling, however, I believe the mother carrying the child has to have the right to choose. I respect her right to make that decision. I just don’t see how you can FORCE any woman to carry a child she does not want to carry, plus there are too many questions still on the table for folks to know in any way except your own spiritual beliefs, when exactly that growing embryo is a human being with full protection of the law. I FEEL PERSONALLY it certainly is a human being. But I respect any woman’s right to make that choice, that decision, for herself.

Secondly, I saw “YOU DON’T KNOW JACK” a film about Jack Kevorkian’s crusade to assist people in their own suicide. I am still struggling to put into words on a page the internal thoughts & feelings about the sanctity of LIFE that arose from watching this film. To help with this, let me put some thoughts into the form of questions. Perhaps that is the best way:

  • When someone has a debililtating, fatal disease, at what point, on what day, does their life become worthless?
  • If it is a fatal disease, why not wait out a few more days and allow your loved ones to care for you? Maybe this is their task, maybe it is their calling, their joy. Is it your decision when to take yourself away from them? They will never see you again in this world.
  • Suffering is a part of life, always. For some, it seems they receive way MORE than their fair share. Still, we all are susceptible to that. None of us CHOOSE to be the one to suffer the most. It is available to all, and could strike any one of us at any time. None of us are immune. There is no Superman or Superwoman. There is no Bionic Man. So whoever is suffering, in a way, is ALL of us, it is who we are, it is our humanity.
  • When in the process of dying, should we choose to die, to take our own life away? We all will die, it comes to each and every one of us, and when it does, we must go through it alone. It is inescapable. There are no promised rose gardens, no guarantees in this life, in this world, when that time will come to any of us. It could be tomorrow, tonight. It could be 50 years away. None of us know. Why should we suddenly be able to decide the exact moment? What if we were to meet someone tomorrow and affect their life? How do we know? How can we be sure our time is up?

It is questions like these that struck me while watching each person in the film decide the moment they would die. I thought, “How selfish,” really. How presumptuous. Why not let life take its course? You know why? Because we want to die with DIGNITY. And this is oftentimes what is denied to us in hospitals, especially if we have INSURANCE to cover treatment! More treatments, more unnecessary surgeries, at the end of life, when we SHOULD be given time with our families, time to say good byes, time to somewhat adjust to our upcoming loss. Time to reflect, time to make ammends, time to forgive. So often we do NOT get that, because doctors do not even share WITH us what is happening!

Also, we don’t want to be a burden to our families. But perhaps this is part of our humanness as well — taking care of another human being, especially when they are HELPLESS and when they are suffering, because that is when they are in need. Do we really trust our families, our loved ones to love us enough to see us at our most vulnerable state? I think it is a matter of wanting to feel in control, and fearing loss of that control. Of course. I feel it too. But this is part of what we need to LEARN, while still breathing in this world — to fully and completely, totally trust another human being enough to have them take care of us, even when we can no longer take care of ourselves. Isn’t that what happens when people grow old? They become, once again, a child. They are more interested in playing and enjoying simple pleasures than worrying about this or that problem or event happening perhaps next week.

 There is much more I could say and write, but I will close for now. I could talk about being with my mother the last 5 days of her life, or my brother for the last 3-4 days of his. I could talk about how the hospital told us we had to move our mother when she had less than 24 hours to live, and our refusal to do so, after which they found us a hospice space within the hospital. She was in no pain, they couldn’t do anything more “for” her so they wanted us to leave. I can’t imagine the horrific scene that would have been while she died in the process of trying to move her into a “rehabilitation center”. Thank God my brother had the common sense about him to look them straight in the eye and say, “Well, we’re not moving. So find us a room.”

We didn’t know at the time that she had less than a day to still be breathing. But we were starting to guess. They don’t confide in you, don’t tell you these things. And so, we were given that last night to be with her in her room, and she passed the next morning before we had a chance to eat breakfast.

So yes. We deserve to die with dignity. But I do not think taking one’s own life, or assisting others to do so, is what a physician should be about. My mother had a worsening heart condition. She could have decided herself that she was not going to get any better, and to end her own life sooner than it happened. But why do that?! She was very accepting in her later days. She accepted her condition, and spent time with her family as much as possible and just enjoyed her life at home. She prayed and studied her Bible as well. I feel happy for her to have this time. And she was there when her new little grandson came to visit from North Carolina and played in her living room, some of the last pictures I have of her smiling, with her oxygen tube in her nose in her own living room.

This is life! It is wonderful, it is great, and it lasts as long as it lasts. In each moment there is value, in each precious life.

summer projects

June 16, 2011

Well, I just started writing this entry and my computer decided to update itself and shut itself down. NIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE.

I have these left for summer projects, each one being something that could take the entire summer:

1. Finish research and write a journal article, sending it in for publication. 🙂 

2. Prepare for Fall semester. I always look forward to Fall because these are classes I love and this will be the 4th time I have taught the main two. Social problems I teach every semester so I am prepared for that already, though there are a few changes I will make to improve it this time. Social Theory– my FAVORITE, and students are usually all sociology majors who need to write a 10-page paper. Stratification we have fun with.

3. Think thru Criminology and Criminal Justice, one I taught last semester and One I will teach next Spring. For all my classes, I plan to get them down to the day in planning, with lecture, film, guest speakers, assignments, tests and class activities.

4. Put together my booklet of 15 Children’s class lessons on Virtues. Organize my children’s class materials, which are vast and totally disheveled right now in various containers and boxes. 15 lessons = 1 weekly lesson for a semester. They are virtues lessons with a base of spirituality adaptable to children of any faith background, incuding my own, the Baha’i Faith, which has a universal viewpoint.

5. Do more work on the mystery man, James Agnew, my great grandfather, more work on Family history, including some more on the Black’s, my husband’s family. Maybe copy pictures I have for siblings.

6. Find a few more gravesites for those looking for their family history gravesites, from findagrave.com.

Family vacation 1 week in July.

Meanwhile, my husband just lost his job. He earned employee of the month 3X in the past 6 mos., but he is laid off. Some new man in charge decided to make a name for himself by getting rid of all remote recruiters, even tho’ my husband has been doing this remotely for the past year. THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANKS!! Thanks a bunch. If we have to live on my salary, we are screwed. I really don’t want to move again. I could get a better paying job in my field, but for now, we’re cutting expenses as much as possible and seeing how it goes. He is 59 and unemployed.

Besides that, I am having some other serious problems I won’t mention here. All I know is, wihtout prayer and trust in God, I’d be a goner. WITH those things, we are always winners. There is nothing that can harm me if I have my Lord’s love and guidance. This is all I can count on right now.

Our house is once again childless, quiet and empty. We miss our grandkids who were here, but at the same time, we are older and they do wear me out. Glad to have time once again for reflection, prayer to myself, quiet walks out in the nature of South Carolina. I have restarted my 3-mile daily walks. But I have not yet been able to go to the pool without them. The kids in the pool will make me sad my grandkids are not there as well, saying, “Grandma! Watch this!”

June 7

June 8, 2011

Wow, time flies. Today we went to the Congaree Swamp Natl Park, hiked the 2+ miles around the main trail, the boardwalk, a circle. Saw umpteen different colored salamanders or lizards. One with blue tail, another with orange head. Caspian was apptd. picture taker & took photos of wildlife all the way around, lizards, spiders, squirrels, bugs, fish, turtles. We saw an owl fly but no picture.

Then took them to Camden battlefield, Revolutionary war and found it to be an unkempt track of land, with grass overgrown among the plaques dedicated to the battle. There was a spirit there, so many died there. We had a full day in the nearly 100-degree heat.

Raven is staying the night at a friend’s here in the neighborhood & lately takes a late-night swim. He feels so independent.

Zakiah caught a frog last night on the pond. Tonight we saw one medium sized one, one little tiny one. Today is the 1st day we didn’t go swimming, too tired, too late. They went fishing with Grandpa the past 2 nights for about 1/2 hour to 40 mins. Tonight Zakiah’s lline caught a small fish, which Grandpa got out of the water. Everything is returned to the eco-system and let go at the end of the evening.

It has been a good 2 weeks.

And, I must say, today is my oldest daughter’s birthday. I remember her birth like it was yesterday, I really do. It was a peaceful, quiet Leboyer hospital birth with very little intervention, about 5:15 pm with only natural June lighting in the room. She went into the Leboyer bath first thing after birth and opened her eyes, relaxed. Her daddy held her in the bath, then walked her down the hall to get weighed, etc. This was all after a long, 24-hr.+ labor, but no intervention. We were all very patient in those days.