Archive for September, 2010

book

September 12, 2010

If I ever publish this book, I will never write another one, ever ever.

Have worked all weekend updating stats because they are now out of date, & making a supposedly impressive table of figures. I have given up on finding clear, simple data for what I need. It is nowhere published in a simple and clear manner. Try to find simple percentages of prison inmates by state and racial groups. Some publish it, some don’t, other data is collected into a huge dataset on some national website, which I’m sorry, I am NOT going to download in order to just get a simple percentage of inmates by RACE per STATE. Then there is the Fedl Bureau of Prisons— for the federal prison population— another whole animal.

I can’t express the total exhaustion that has taken over my life so many times, from trying to write and publish this book. Some professor told me, “Don’t worry, this is not your LIFE WORK.” Well, yes it is. It is my life work. I will never write another book. A couple articles, yes, but no interest in a book.

the sound of football

September 11, 2010

I like the sound of football. For most of the games, I don’t care who wins. I just like to hear the sound of the game.  

When I was a child, the sound of football meant my dad was home. It meant family time and my dad was not working. It usually meant the adults would be laying around on couches, relaxing, talking, watching tv and taking naps. That is important to a child. It meant no school, and a big family dinner sometime that day. I would usually be playing in my room, making up games, going outside to see who was in the neighborhood, riding my bike or roller skating a bit, then coming inside again to hang out with the adults. As a little girl, I was not expected to watch or enjoy the game. But any time I wanted, I could hang out in the game room, listen to their voices, and hear the sound of the game.

Purdue football games are even more nostalgic. I’ve heard Purdue football since I was  born, sometimes at the game itself. Today, hearing and watching Purdue football takes me back to my home town. It is where I am from, it is who I am, no matter where I live now. It is good to know where you are from. It gives you a sense of belonging, of identity. I am a Hoosier, but I am not IU, I’m a Boilermaker. West Lafayette has a certain identity, very different from Bloomington. Purdue is the enginnering school, IU is the artsy-fartsy community. Purdue is northwest Indiana, closer to Chicago; IU is southern Indiana, closer to Kentucky. Plains and cornfields vs. hilly southern Indiana. Even today, I wear more black and gold than anything else.

poetry night

September 9, 2010

My husband’s sponsored poetry night tonight, was a really good night. I just enjoyed all the people. Lots of different people, different colors of browns, tans, whites, musicians, readers, some reading for the 1st time, others more practiced and professional moving to the beat of their words. European- background-New-Yorkers who read with little emotion but a wry sense of humor in the background of their words…. Friends showing up unexpectedly…..I just enjoyed myself.

When you listen to others’ poetry, it makes you want to go write some of your own. Tonight I had the thought to write one for Zakiah. I don’t know what it will be yet, but we’ll see if it comes to me. I love his spirit, his playfulness, and his 4 yr old sense of humor.

The other thing I enjoyed tonight was the featured poet. A lot of what she said meant something to me. I like thinking of women over 50 writing, and what they would write about compared to a woman of 25. It is just different. And it is different from what men of 50 and CERTAINLY men of 25 would write. I really like where I’m at, this age, and being creative this way. Women over 50 don’t really care who thinks what of whatever we write. We’re not so concerned to “impress”. It is a nice place to be.

I think Karl Marx was wrong in that work does not do away with our ability to create. It comes out in other ways, whether it be poetry, doing cross stitch, or making a power point. He was right in that it is much of what makes us human. The human spirit has a NEED to create. If we were working in a factory 12 hours/day, 6 days/week, alongside children, as in his day, perhaps we wouldn’t have time to do anything creative. But today? We may not LOVE our jobs, but we have enough time to create. We find a way to release that creative drive.

Now I really need to set my alarm and go to bed.

September air

September 7, 2010

The air is changing. It is still hot during the day, so much so that I turn up the air conditioning (such as it is) in my office. Still hitting 90 in the afternoon. But not for long.

I do not feel much desire to swim in the pool anymore. The water is shivering cold from the cooler night air, which is getting down to the 60s. And it just feels . . . like fall. Kids are all in school, football games are going on, the days are shorter, late afternoon shade covers the pool if I am there past 4.

Dragonflies flit all around the pond, shimmering past you as you walk around it, never lighting on a human being. They are more interested in mosquitos and whatever other little bugs there are near the water. Our little toad who lives in our front yard garden still scurries across the front porch when I come home and jumps into the sandy dirt near the front yard bushes. Lately I’ve noticed humming birds at the neighbor’s feeder. The cranes have left our pond, not sure why. There was a large white one and smaller blue one but they’ve gone. Hawks still swoop and soar high above. Small turtles enjoy the late summer sun, perching on small logs and sticks in the water. I still love where we live.

I bought 2 book cases for $15. each, which add a final touch to the living room. Still need a kitchen table.

I have revised my book once again through chapter 1. Will concentrate on finishing it tomorrow and hopefully get it off to a German publisher who wants it. Cross your fingers. I want to be done with this one.

Labor Day weekend

September 6, 2010

Someone I know has this for her signature file:

“America’s Labor Unions: the folks who brought you the weekend”

Thank you for that! I appreciate it. Especially 3 day ones like this one.

Leah, Jean, Zakiah and Naylah all weekend. We had great fun. Zakiah was a true delight. Naylah was so sweet and fun. We all had a good time and didn’t spend much money at all. We cooked at home, never went out to a restaurant, and didn’t even have a grill. Dishes were being washed continually. Leah & Jean got to go out together Sat. night & I watched Naylah. She took the warmed bottle just fine! Other times over the weekend it wasn’t so easy. She is cooing and smiling.

We went swimming in the pool, where the water has now turned cold. But it was still sparkling clean and great fun. Hardly anyone was in it until today, when we didn’t go. The days are piping hot, up to 9o degrees and the hot sun burns into your skin, but the nights are now getting down into the 60s, so we wake up slightly chilly.

Took walks around the pond, had 2 other friends over Sun. morning & they talked about being in Africa & practiced Swahili. Shared late breakfast/early lunch.

They left Sun. night but their car broke down about 45 mins. away from here. It’s incredible what then happened. They called, waited until Al got there & was looking at the battery, then BOOM!! A car wreck happened right next to where they were. Al pulled a car door off to get some people out of one car, and directed traffic. Jean called 911. As Leah said, “Our car broke down so we could be here to help these people.” In any case, they returned here, then Jean, Levin AND AL went back AGAIN to start their car to get it back here that night. The gas station they parked in was closed, & there was a WHOLE LOTTA TRAFFIC going in and out of the lot, in the form of illegal activity. They needed to get the car out of there, and the three of them needed to go retrieve it. As Al said, “3 men will not get attacked. Two could get attacked.” I was so glad when they were all done and home at 3am. Didn’t sleep much that night.

Monday we were lucky enough to find a place open to get an alternator replaced. They left about 5pm tonight & are finally home. Leah was worried about her class preparation this week. (Me too! I was going to work on it all day today.) But it was fun to have them return. Zakiah slept one more night on blankets at the end of our bed. It was such a nice time together.

Took Zakiah to the Chapin local parade today, which is small town memories. He got his face painted. All the boy scout troops and local businesses march in a parade and throw candy to the crowd…. Then Zakiah picked out boiled peanuts & went on 2 rides, as well as got a free balloon.

Toys for the weekend at Grandma’s house included:

a small rocket that launches with air through a cardboard tube, coloring book and crayons, numerous  balloons, a “find it” tube with small things in it besides beads, various other little things. I keep an assortment of toys around for visits like these.

Katrina 5 years ago

September 2, 2010

This morning I give a lecture on Hurricane Katrina. It all happened 5 years ago. I relate it to Stratification, inequality, class difference mixed with race, in America. The students like the subject, it is interesting for them. They are shocked when I get to the part about babies dying for lack of water in the Superdome.

It is a horrifying story. I get angry and sad every time I review it. Overwhelmed at the suffering. Remembering tv shots of people with arms outstretched, standing on their rooftops with signs, “HELP US!” And every face was brown. I remember someone saying, “If those were little teenage white cheerleaders, they wouldn’t have been left there. They wouldn’t have been taken to some deserted highway intersection and left there with no water, food, or protection.”

It is a story of tragedy, of a nation full of itself, floundering in a bureaucracy that did not function at the time most needed by its own people. No one expected Katrina to be this bad. It was a bad girl, coming across Florida as a Categotry 1 and hitting New Orleans as a Category 5. The people who never evacuated were the poorest of the poor. No car, no money, no place else to go = No evacuation.

I cannot imagine being holed up in the Superdome, not being ALLOWED to leave, and my baby dying for lack of water. Can you, really? in America? Can you imagine watching your own mother die for lack of medicine and medical care, and leaving her  body covered with a rag, to rot for days? No assistance? This is America?

I do not want this story to die out, as those 1800+ people did 5 years ago. We need to be reminded. My students need to hear it. So it never happens again. It is horrifying.

The Director of FEMA resigned. So did the Supt. of the New Orleans Police Dept. after law suits.

Federal marshalls positioned themselves on top of a bridge and started shooting (black) people trying to walk out of the flooding, over to the safer side, the richer, white areas. This HAPPENED, it is documented, and people testified they did it in court. I know academics who were with them and wrote about it later. The fear of hordes of uneducated  black folk streaming into their rich areas was too much. They brought out their guns. People were picked off their rooftops and left on deserted parts of highways with no water or food. What exactly were they supposed to do?

Was there looting? YES. And violence. It was chaos, but it was also unnecessary. That’s the really sad part. The American Federal Corps of Engineers was found responsible for the levee breaches, which then poured Lake Pontchatrain into the lower 9th ward. But they did not have to suffer or pay out a dime, due to protection clauses put in place years before, at the time of another hurricane.

Citizens came with their own boats, volunteering to rescue people themselves, and were turned away. They didn’t have the proper credentials, or clearance. This was bureaucracy at its worst.

Katrina survivors were scattered all over the country. Most of them never returned to New Orleans. Ray Nagin, who screamed over the news for those in Washington to “get off their asses and do something” is no longer mayor.

The city today is back to life, a fun place to visit, full of music and people. Academics take their conferences to New Orleans and have a great time in the French quarter. But in the lower 9th ward, houses are still boarded up. Churches do their best to serve the folks living there. It has not been rebuilt.

This could have been America at its BEST. We have a big heart. People tried to help. There is a lot of love in America, and most people don’t carry around the prejudices we used to. We realize people are people. The interesting thing is, when a tragedy happens, bureaucracy takes over. We expect the government to take care of the situation. And in this case, at this time in our history, it did not. It failed us. Citizen groups eventually organized themselves as relief agencies and many people put in hours and hours administering to the people, taking them water, food and supplies. Because FEMA never came.

Hurricane Earl is building as I write this, in the Caribbean. I wonder, what will prevent this from happening again? What will be the next tragedy?