Archive for October, 2011

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this precious life

October 14, 2011

Recently, 2 things happened that made me once again realize the absolute preciousness of life. Every single life. First, we found out grandchild no.5 is on the way. How precious is that?? We are so excited! They had 2 ultrasounds and 3-4 blood tests for the doctors to tell them: normal baby developing as it should. Just smaller, younger than you thought it was! And so, we have a picture of this little one, this precious life. Welcome to the family, may you grow and grow and grow, can’t wait to see you!

isn’t life WONDERFUL??

 

 

 

baby grandchild

 

 

Now I am not a “right-to-lifer”. I find abortion absolutely appalling, however, I believe the mother carrying the child has to have the right to choose. I respect her right to make that decision. I just don’t see how you can FORCE any woman to carry a child she does not want to carry, plus there are too many questions still on the table for folks to know in any way except your own spiritual beliefs, when exactly that growing embryo is a human being with full protection of the law. I FEEL PERSONALLY it certainly is a human being. But I respect any woman’s right to make that choice, that decision, for herself.

Secondly, I saw “YOU DON’T KNOW JACK” a film about Jack Kevorkian’s crusade to assist people in their own suicide. I am still struggling to put into words on a page the internal thoughts & feelings about the sanctity of LIFE that arose from watching this film. To help with this, let me put some thoughts into the form of questions. Perhaps that is the best way:

  • When someone has a debililtating, fatal disease, at what point, on what day, does their life become worthless?
  • If it is a fatal disease, why not wait out a few more days and allow your loved ones to care for you? Maybe this is their task, maybe it is their calling, their joy. Is it your decision when to take yourself away from them? They will never see you again in this world.
  • Suffering is a part of life, always. For some, it seems they receive way MORE than their fair share. Still, we all are susceptible to that. None of us CHOOSE to be the one to suffer the most. It is available to all, and could strike any one of us at any time. None of us are immune. There is no Superman or Superwoman. There is no Bionic Man. So whoever is suffering, in a way, is ALL of us, it is who we are, it is our humanity.
  • When in the process of dying, should we choose to die, to take our own life away? We all will die, it comes to each and every one of us, and when it does, we must go through it alone. It is inescapable. There are no promised rose gardens, no guarantees in this life, in this world, when that time will come to any of us. It could be tomorrow, tonight. It could be 50 years away. None of us know. Why should we suddenly be able to decide the exact moment? What if we were to meet someone tomorrow and affect their life? How do we know? How can we be sure our time is up?

It is questions like these that struck me while watching each person in the film decide the moment they would die. I thought, “How selfish,” really. How presumptuous. Why not let life take its course? You know why? Because we want to die with DIGNITY. And this is oftentimes what is denied to us in hospitals, especially if we have INSURANCE to cover treatment! More treatments, more unnecessary surgeries, at the end of life, when we SHOULD be given time with our families, time to say good byes, time to somewhat adjust to our upcoming loss. Time to reflect, time to make ammends, time to forgive. So often we do NOT get that, because doctors do not even share WITH us what is happening!

Also, we don’t want to be a burden to our families. But perhaps this is part of our humanness as well — taking care of another human being, especially when they are HELPLESS and when they are suffering, because that is when they are in need. Do we really trust our families, our loved ones to love us enough to see us at our most vulnerable state? I think it is a matter of wanting to feel in control, and fearing loss of that control. Of course. I feel it too. But this is part of what we need to LEARN, while still breathing in this world — to fully and completely, totally trust another human being enough to have them take care of us, even when we can no longer take care of ourselves. Isn’t that what happens when people grow old? They become, once again, a child. They are more interested in playing and enjoying simple pleasures than worrying about this or that problem or event happening perhaps next week.

 There is much more I could say and write, but I will close for now. I could talk about being with my mother the last 5 days of her life, or my brother for the last 3-4 days of his. I could talk about how the hospital told us we had to move our mother when she had less than 24 hours to live, and our refusal to do so, after which they found us a hospice space within the hospital. She was in no pain, they couldn’t do anything more “for” her so they wanted us to leave. I can’t imagine the horrific scene that would have been while she died in the process of trying to move her into a “rehabilitation center”. Thank God my brother had the common sense about him to look them straight in the eye and say, “Well, we’re not moving. So find us a room.”

We didn’t know at the time that she had less than a day to still be breathing. But we were starting to guess. They don’t confide in you, don’t tell you these things. And so, we were given that last night to be with her in her room, and she passed the next morning before we had a chance to eat breakfast.

So yes. We deserve to die with dignity. But I do not think taking one’s own life, or assisting others to do so, is what a physician should be about. My mother had a worsening heart condition. She could have decided herself that she was not going to get any better, and to end her own life sooner than it happened. But why do that?! She was very accepting in her later days. She accepted her condition, and spent time with her family as much as possible and just enjoyed her life at home. She prayed and studied her Bible as well. I feel happy for her to have this time. And she was there when her new little grandson came to visit from North Carolina and played in her living room, some of the last pictures I have of her smiling, with her oxygen tube in her nose in her own living room.

This is life! It is wonderful, it is great, and it lasts as long as it lasts. In each moment there is value, in each precious life.

Posted in Family, grandchildren, various personal musings | Leave a Comment »

fewer will get mortgages this year

October 12, 2011

Really? Big news story in the Wall St journal today, fewer will get mortgages over the next year. Yes, this is something we know. Too many people got mortgages based on no finances. Those bad, irresponsible folks taking a nice house for their family offered to them by the mortgage lenders at the banks who were doing the offering, telling them they could afford it, that everything would be fine, selling them a house with a flexible rate. When the market fell, they lost their home. They should have known better. They should have worked hard, saved their pennies and offered a sizeable down payment at the time of purchase, with their solid credit rating, and not taken a deal unless it had a fixed rate and decent interest rate.

Well, news flash, most people live paycheck to paycheck, even at the higher middle class levels with 2 incomes in the family. Partly this is due to our credit culture where we all have to have our “things” to be happy. But let’s pass around the responsibility a bit.

Most Americans watch 4-7 hours of television per day, where commercials blast “things” at us every 10 minutes of programming. What are the constant messages blasted at us by the media circuit, on television, Internet, radio (if anyone still listens to that, perhaps in their car), on bill boards as we drive? — It’s all about “things” we need to be happy, to have a girlfriend/boyfriend. To go against this constant barrage of needed “things”, we have to go against the norms of society, which means we have to swim upstream. It gets tiring. Somewhere along the way, we cave in and just “go with the flow”. President Bush sends out a check to families, telling them to SPEND IT to help the economy! The economy was tanking, if they spent it, they paid an electic bill with it!

Those people getting loans based on nothing are now losing their homes. But the banks, the mortgage lenders? No sweat, they got bailed out. We all heard in the news how they took the bail out money and continued to pay their CEOs millions in BONUSES. So we all know who cares not a whit about the people losing their homes. We all know who suffers and who goes on as they have been since the end of the Great Depression.

So my actual focus of this blog is this: Where do we go from here? Where we are going is back to BEFORE WWII, when 30-year mortgages without needing a huge down payment were INVENTED, mostly for the GIs returning to get out of the shanty towns that were set up in quonset houses, barracks, and get them and their families into nice, individual homes. Of course, these home loans were denied to black GIs, but oh well. The public wasn’t ready for integration of suburbs.

Bankers and lenders have always done whatever they want, while the people working those jobs take the hand outs and imagine they are independently deciding these things.

People losing their homes, losing their jobs, are now unable to pay those home loans and credit cards at the high interest rates, and their CREDIT RATING is going DOWN THE TUBES. And it is not their fault. Companies offered these things to them and convinced them they could afford it, and their neighbors were getting them, so they also “needed” them. Now we know that was a sham. But the people of America, those hard working people now seeing the loss of those promised “things” are losing out. Their credit rating is going down and there is nothing they can do about it. They will not be able to get a home loan, they will be denied credit cards, and increasingly, employers are checking CREDIT RATINGS before they hire someone. It is a black hole, there is no escape. So the middle class is disappearing. Those at the higher ends can still afford their payments. Those in the middle are moving to the bottom, are losing their homes, now forced to rent a place, and see their wealth disappear. When they lose those jobs, they also lose their health care. So they will die sooner. But we know from watching the Republican debate on television, the Tea Partiers think that laughable. “Let him die! (erupted laughter)”.   We are fast returning to an era of haves and have nots. Was Marx more prophetic than we give him credit for? He did not foresee a middle class, minimum wage laws, easy credit. Are we returning to his predictions? Interesting thought. Time will tell. In the meantime, we all search for a way to survive present conditions. Students take to the streets to protest their thousands in student loans and lack of jobs and opportunity.

There is a certain amount of survival skills due to life experience that comes with 57 years of life. This too shall pass. What the next stage will be, no one knows. Change is certain. Each of us is responsible for what change occurs. Each of us has a brain. Study, learn and contribute. Always contribute. Prepare the best you can. For the immediate future, try to keep costs down, live simply, have any sort of “savings” if you are able. Find a way to survive. Build your skill levels, add things to your resume, promote yourself, network.

It is certain that some will survive, and some will not. Makes me want to gather my children and grandchildren close around me. Know who you can trust and depend upon each other. We are not in this world alone and none of us can survive alone. Human beings are social creatures. Trust and love.

Posted in hard times, stories in the news | Leave a Comment »

October

October 3, 2011

Turned on our heat at home for the first time this morning. It was 66 in the house. Current temp outside at 9:38pm is 55 degrees! How did this happen? The football game Saturday got cold too, I wore 2 jackets, & they felt good. Trees are not orange or red yet at all though, down here. They will be soon now, & the colors won’t be as bright as they are up north. The dragonflies seem to be gone for the most part, we still see the herons on the pond. The campus pool just closed this week. Fall in the South.

Tons of stories in the news. Amanda Knox was FREED today, or that’s the decision. I am happy for her. The Italian police couldn’t have botched it much worse or treated her more unfairly.

 

700 protestors got arrested in NYC. I wonder at how you can arrest 700 protestors. Where did they put them? Did they have to stand in line to get processed, assessed a fee and then released? This is a goldmine for NYC! Maybe they want to keep it going awhile.

It seems to be a young movement, somewhat nieve and yet, it IS a movement. It’s about the most organized thing since the early 70s & it somehow feels really good to see some people blatantly calling it what it is, calling those with the riches in this country to fess up to what is really going on. They have the money, they’re still making big money and it’s on the backs of the rest of America. Do the protestors have a well-planned response, a system to put in place? Not really. No, but they’re still making a statement that somehow we all know is true but don’t want to believe. Those with the money & power in this country don’t want to give it up, & they really don’t care if the rest of us lose our homes, lose our jobs, and have to struggle with daily life. They’ve been playing this game for a long time & they’re not about to give it up. But their walls have become transparent. The Emperor has no clothes.

Posted in stories in the news, weather | Leave a Comment »

children

October 1, 2011

Tomorrow I will do one of my favorite things. Work with children. In another life, this is my true calling. I connect well with children, feel their hearts and spirit. They are purer spirits. They have their fears and imperfections that need developed, but don’t we all. We will write poetry, paint pictures and blow bubbles, while the adults in the other large room act serious, talk and discuss. We will play charades, acting out different animals and learning about the kingdoms of God, from mineral, to plant, to animal, human and Divine. We will make pictures of flower gardens behind a gate that will open for all to see. We will play games. The adults will consult and vote for someone to represent them at their next National Convention. They will feel gratitude and sympathy for those behind the other doors who are caring for their children during their morning and afternoon sessions. What they don’t know is, that is THE BEST of all places to be. With their children.

Posted in children's classes | Leave a Comment »

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