Reading “The courage to teach”, Chapter 2 is on fear. The actual title is, “A Culture of Fear: Education and the disconnected life.”
At this point, I don’t think I am very fearful. But it’s true, fear is connected to education for student and professor/teacher/instructor. There is always fear. For the student, it’s fear of failing, or for many today, fear of not getting an A. I remember when I got my first (and ONLY) “B” in Graduate school. My major professor said, “It’s about time!” Well you know, a C in graduate school means you take the class over again. It means you didn’t pass.
As we go on in academia, everyone develops their own “teaching philosophy”. When you apply for a teaching job, they always want you to talk or write about your teaching philosophy. With experience, we shift and change our beliefs on that whole process.
I see nothing wrong with tests, nor with the dreaded “comprehensive final exam”. Well, did you learn anything? What did you learn that you will take with you, that you retain to the end and beyond? That’s what a comprehensive final is about. But it also measures, how many names, theories and concepts can you memorize the night before the final? I know that. I still think it’s a good exercise. Is it connected to fear? Yes, but it also measures preparation, discipline, and hopefully, putting some of those concepts into practical application. That’s where my tests are difficult. It’s not “match this word with the correct definition,” it’s more “Study this example and explain which theory it illustrates and why you think so.” It’s all in the “why you think so”. Can you put your thoughts on paper? Can you recognize this theory in action? I have students who can’t understand the concept of “institutional discrimination”. Women couldn’t vote in Federal elections in the U.S. until 1920. From 1776 to 1920, by Federal law, women couldn’t vote. Is that not institutional? Part of the institution of government, law, the structure of our society? (Of course, Black women were beaten and worse for trying to register to vote in the early 1960s. That’s institutional as well because we all let it go on. Until it got so horrible and on TV sets in people’ living rooms and the cart went over the top of the hill and down the other side toward change. Lyndon B. Johnson didn’t WANT to sign the Voting Rights Act of 1965 and Civil Rights Act of 1964, any more than Woodrow Wilson wanted to give women the vote in 1920, but it was time.)
The Cherokee WON their case in the Georgia Supreme Court to not be sent westward to Oklahoma on the Trail of Tears. Pres. Andrew Jackson didn’t care and enforced it with Federal troops and one-fourth of them died en route. Is that not institutional?
My teaching philosophy doesn’t mind testing students. However, there are many ways to LEARN. The important thing is to think and learn SOMETHING. So I give many other ways to earn points, including various assignments, online discussions, experiments, movie reviews, and SOME extra credit– not for one person who begs during the last week of class, but for every student in the class, at regular intervals throughout the semester. We also do some things for fun, like games, role plays, and now on zoom, “breakout room activities”. I must admit, though, I have not mastered these talents in online classes.
But back to fear. Yes, fear is real in Instructors. Fear of being fired for saying “too much” or too little. Fear of not getting tenure, the worst bag of trash policy ever invented. Fear of not getting published, of not being accepted into a new institution, fear of bad reviews by students, or fear of failure in the classroom. Fear of asking those questions and being met with silence, fear of being boring, fear of not being able to “entertain”. Ugh. We are not entertainers.
I have pretty much come to terms with my own inadequacies and flaws as well as my skills. I care deeply and am willing to work with anyone on their grade. That’s the best I can do. I am firm on honesty and integrity. Cheating gets you a 0. Copying someone else’s work: 0. Other than that, you have enough opportunity to earn points various ways.
I will say this. As a graduate student, you have fear. Fear of course of not getting your PhD. Fear of your committee rejecting your work. It ALL has the effect of KEEPING YOU QUIET. Before grad school, my husband and I would have people over all the time, different types of people, different status and race and culture. After grad school, it would not be appropriate for a student to have their professor over, as a friend, on the same level. It is just not done. And the bias goes on from there. Perpetuation of status and the hierarchy. As a professor, there is status according to what you teach. The sciences get more money (more grants for the school), more status in society. The Liberal Arts, not so much. Who publishes more? and in which journals? It makes a difference. In salary. I am more of the calibre of a Georg Simmel, publishing in popular journals and not academic, and the most liked of all the professors. (I am not the most-liked but I do ok.)
So in short, we have to come to terms with our fears, and our realities, then decide how we are going to live with them, see which fears we care to change, and do something constructive in this world, in our own small way. God-willing.
Doctor Grandma 
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