I sometimes hear speakers talk about their difficult past, their family’s circumstances such as being from a share cropper family in South Carolina history. These stories are always very inspiring to the audience. Coming from difficult circumstances doesn’t mean you will not succeed. Think positive, live a moral life, and trust in God. Doors sometimes open, Opportunity knocks, Determination pays off.
I have had the thought, “What would I talk about? I do not come from a family of share croppers.” My father was a Professor of Mechanical Engineering at prestigious Purdue University, and at the end of his life, Dean of Engineering at Drexel University. I grew up in lovely neighborhoods in 12-15 room houses. I always had a room to myself, or one I shared with a sister, with my 2 brothers, one much older and one much younger always having rooms of their own. We had large living rooms, a large dining room with beautiful table, a piano, and at least 3 different bathrooms in the house.
But here is what I’ve learned. We all have a story. We all have a story of struggle, of overcoming difficulties, and of unique circumstances where we did more than we ever thought possible. We all have had times of depression where people hurt us and never felt bad about it. We all have stories of being mistreated.
I have experienced things that many of those folks who were daughters of share croppers never had to deal with. I’ve lost a parent to a heart attack at an age when I needed that person more than anyone could ever know. Then I lost another parent to alcoholism for the next 16 years until she quit. I achieved a PhD at the age of 55 and went forward into a teaching career for the next 7 years which is where I am today. While earning that PhD, I worked full-time through the end of my Masters to allow 2 daughters to use my tuition discount, helped one daughter through quitting drug abuse and an abusive boyfriend, and another through a difficult marriage. I survived a prelim meeting where the professors all got into a shouting match, my committee chair sat there in silence, and I was left to pick up the pieces. I finished writing the last 6 chapters of my PhD in one summer after the loss of my mom to heart disease and the loss of faith in me by my committee who believed by that time, I’d never finish. Not only did I FINISH, I achieved success in landing a teaching job! Six years later I survived not getting tenure through prejudice, close-mindedness and downright meanness from a tenure committee, which was so bad I would have won a lawsuit against them if I had the energy to do it, but I decided instead to take anti-depressants and get as far away from their pompous and fake religious self righteousness as possible. And in my earlier years of marriage, through circumstances beyond our control, I knew poverty to the extent that we had wooden boards for a kitchen floor and no hot water for a summer after our gas was shut off by the company for being late paying our bill.
So I’m a survivor as much as the people who came from other difficult circumstances. I have reached places where there was no way forward except to take a step on faith and trust that God would carry me through the darkness. I have achieved more than I ever thought possible and have a job that keeps me continually inspired and young because I am in daily contact with young adults.
We all have a story. We all have stories of survival, of determination, of faith and achievement beyond our dreams. Know your story, believe in your own worth and that of those who pulled you through when you needed some words to inspire you. Be proud of your own achievements and thank God daily for whatever challenging circumstances He put in your path, for that is what made you who you are today, a wiser, more confident and caring person, for you know what it takes to get through life, and to make it this far.
Doctor Grandma 
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