In different ways, a number of people recently have relayed to me that they see my husband and I as an inspiration. This leaves me feeling very odd.
For the most part, it makes me feel ancient. How the heck can I be part of an “inspiration”? It makes me feel like someone who just got recognized as someone else. (There must be some mistake.)
On the other hand, we ARE ancient. And we are an anomaly. We were married by ages 18 & 19. My husband needed his father’s permission to get married at that age in our home state. And that was 38 years ago. We’re still married. (MY GOD!!) I hardly know anyone else who has been married as long as we have. It is amazing, people say, but mostly, it’s just something that happened to us. We don’t have the perfect marriage, we had a very difficult marriage, actually, but somehow we made it through all those years to today. Still together. It becomes tiring that people find that so amazing. There is nothing that special about us.
We had 4 kids, had a lot of difficulty coming together on decisions to raise them, made a lot of mistakes but somehow by a miracle of God, they all made it to adulthood. They all get along, no one bombed out on drugs, and they’re all still here, contributing to society. In reality, this makes it a lot easier for us to get along and be at peace and satisfied in our older, middle age. We can take a sigh of relief now, and be happy, enjoy our grandkids, CELEBRATE, for crying outloud! Glory hallelujah, 4 kids and they all have a freakin’ college degree!
It is rather weird to be considered an inspiration. But I am learning that you can become this by default, if you survive long enough.
Doctor Grandma 
October 2, 2010 at 12:52 pm |
Carol, I think being an inspiration to others doesn’t necessarily suggest “old”, but rather an acknowlegment of, as you have pointed out, accomplishment of something that is not easy in the face of conditions that work against the accomplishment. That other are “inspired”, or take heart, from that. It offers hope that perhaps we too may accomplish such a good thing. I think what’s special about you two is commitment. Jerry and I will have been married for 37 years in January. You could be describing our marriage. But here we are. Still having a laugh. And a bicker. When I look around at men I know, I sure can’t imagine being married to them, much as I may like them as friends, or have interests that I share with them that I don’t share with my husband. Some days I feel like banging my head against the wall, others I’m awash in a sense of peace and blessing about the whole thing. Go figure. Not like the movies or the romance novels. I don’t think I really believe in romance. There’s something much deeper that gets tested in the fires of family life and crises, over time. Bless you both, you crazy kids!