Today is probably the day that Dan will leave this world, for other worlds. He is no longer conscious, is in bed, still on oxygen and all they are giving him is morphine for pain. He is difficult to look at. His mouth is open and he struggles somewhat, to breathe. My feeling is that it will be tonight sometime, but by that time, I will no longer be in his room. It appears that he has hours to live.
Last night I spent 2 hours in prayer for him. I feel we have done about all we can do and it is now up to him, to give up the fight to keep breathing. Watching people this way really shows that it is a process. Some of it is up to the person him or herself. Each person has his or her own struggles with the transition, and unless it is sudden beyond their control (heart attack, car accident, or whatever), then it is a process of days. They are having their own conversations, with themselves, sometimes with relatives who have already passed on, or possibly thinking through their own life. I won’t know until I get there. But the body goes through similar changes. The nurses all know it. The person gradually breathes less regularly, and eventually their kidneys quit, and there is no output. Dan has been that way for nearly a day, now. If anyone will fight resignation, it will be him. He has survived many crises.
I told him Sue called about him today, even though he cannot respond. I actually got close to his ear, and told him, he is going on a trip, but not the kind he expected. I told him he is going on to other worlds of God. I said this life wasn’t so great, it is time to travel to others worlds. I said, this is what you always wanted to do, Dan, go traveling to new and exciting places.
Quickly, the other thing we got done today is paying for his own cremation and service, with his own money that was set up into an account, at this Community Convalescent facility. So all is prepared. He is to be cremated and his ashes scattered at sea. Sue and Jim and I had to give permission all together, each of us faxing the info. Another symbolic thing that brought us together, whether we realize it or not. How ironic is that, that the 3 of us had to give our permission for instructions for what to do with his remains.
I managed to walk to Panera to put this online, so now have to go back. I don’t know how long I have until my friend picks me up and needs to drive home.
Doctor Grandma 
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